210 Health Questions from the Kaiser Application

We finally ditched our amazingly expensive COBRA health care plan in favor of individual health care policies. Unlike the plans I've had from employers in the past, this individual plan required each of us to answer questions about our healthcare history. Presumably this is so they can disqualify people who already live with expensive health conditions.

I was pretty impressed by the application. The PDF was 24 pages, letter-sized, with the majority of the questions related to health. It starts like this:

Then they ask you the medical history questions.

Almost done!

Medical Details
Except, if you answered Yes or "?" to any of those 210 health questions, you've got to clarify what happened in each instance, as shown in the Medical Detail section below. These questions need to be addressed if you, for example, answered "?" to Question 20e: Von Willebrand's disease :

This is where you'll give details about when you visited the urologist to get Viagra, just so you could write an article about it.

These forms are simpler to fill out if you haven't had a lot of health problems, just one of the benefits of clean livin'.

After you fill out the paper application, you can mail it in, or fax it in. You'll have to include your first month's insurance premium, although they don't yet guarantee that they will enroll you for the plan. You are only applying.

It was our experience that upon receiving the application, a Kaiser representative will call and ask about each and every unaddressed question from the application. They don't seem too terribly anxious to determine if you are lying, though. I have a feeling that if you show up with stage 3 Cystic Fibrosis a week after applying, they'll use your fraudulent application to avoid having to administer care at the insured rates.

So, that's it. Two hundred ten health questions, plus details, and you are ready to go. You can do it.

The guys at H & R Block can't.

I already asked.