- The first key is to either be extremely
attractive or extremely disgusting. To magnify the interest from your
visual appearance and promote the typecasting that will make you a
memorable character, it is very important to also display distinctive
personal habits or characteristics such as stupidity, paranoia,
overconfidence and/or a propensity for swimming naked. Any combination
of such characteristics is even better. Finally, to ultimately succeed
you must have a touching personal story to create a following amongst
the viewing public, e.g. "I'm a working mom going for my
dream" or "I'm a former Navy Seal" or "Nobody
thought a one-armed bipolar diabetic could make it on this show, but
I've proven that if you just believe, anything is possible."
- Drop dead !
- Elimination by strangulation!
- Get in GOOD physical shape before hand, then
hide it from other contestants (bum knee, bad back, etc.) Oh, and
learn how to go 3 months without JOing.
- Let a dramamine tablet dissolve in your mouth
before you do an eating challenge, it numbs your mouth to the point
you can't taste anything
- The goal of the game is not to make friends.
The goal is to win!
- You must perfect the eye roll. It's not enough
to just roll the eyes, you must also have a facial expression that
shows your disdain for the person it's aimed at, as well as
demonstrating the level of superiority you feel for yourself.
- Build deep emotional relationships with all the
women.
- Learn to read minds, say out loud what the
audience are thinking, but don't pick on anyone unless they're
completely out of public favour. Ah telepathy, how we need you.
- Never, ever say anything bad about anyone
because they will get to hear it when the show airs. also be sure to
get the addresses of other contestants so you can hunt them down and
get them back for all the bad things they say about you.
- starving? eat the cameraman.
- Never ever ever try to be teammates with a
girlfriend-on-the-outs
- Take the red pill!!! - Rupert
- make the decision to nude up or not early and
stick to it, at all times not just the shower. this goes for all
reality tv too, not just big brother type shows, i think even donald
trump would have a hard time firing a naked person.
- Plunge a steak knife into your ear to spare the
rest of the world from your obnoxious behavior.
- The best bet is to look for the alpha
male/female and ignite a relationship that borders on sexual. This
will keep viewers intrigued with the old "will they, won't
they" scenario. Of course you could also keep up strange
activities at strange hours, for example, washing face at 3 am,
spinning round 6 times just before bed etc etc etc. In order to get
voted off the show, best thing is to have a chip on ones shoulder and
spurn any attempt at civility.
- Immediately declare yourself the polar opposite
of the most attractive person on the show. the resulting tension and
back-stabbing will keep you on until the finals.
- Make diplomatic relations with as many people
as possible: the more friends the better.
- Lastly, if there's something you're good at,
feign ignorance/incompetence until right before it matters most. the
resulting surprise will throw your compatriots for a loop.
- even more lastly, just close your eyes, plug
your nose and swallow. no chewing. they pretty much have to give you
the Heimlich if you start choking.
- First and foremost, don't think that this is
your first step towards a career in legitimate television or movies.
It's not.
- Second, just try not to be too douchey.
- Don't get naked, or play with your ding dong on
camera.
- In Britain, on the ones where the public vote
you off (the most common form of elimination), it seems to pay to be i)
physically attractive (OK, not a lot you can do on that one) and ii) a
basically good person (so minimise the bitchiness and double-dealing,
and be supportive to other contestants). You might run the risk of
being regarded as boring, so occasional comedy bitching or
self-deprecation is fine, but whining a lot and being constantly nasty
or argumentative means you'll go.
- Keep it real! And by "real", i mean
follow the script you're given.
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- Pick a stereo-type, ratchet it up to an 11 on a
1-10 scale, and stick with it: The dumb hillbilly, the loud African
American woman, the flamboyant gay man, the spicy Latina, the
agressive punk-rocker, the ultra-conservative Bible-thumper, the used
car salesman, the person with lyme disease, the potential serial
killer, the super-fat funny guy, the plumbers apprentice, the Roman
soldier, the futuristic robot, the Mennonite, the gator-wrestling
Australian, the 12th century Scottish tribesman, the Bull-fighter, the
South American drug-lord...I could go on
- Being drop dead gorgeous.
- The best advice that I can give reality show
contestants is: watch the previous seasons. Study them. Learn from
them. Figure out what the losers have in common. What the winners have
in common. For example, I am constantly amazed by the ways in which
the candidates on The Apprentice make the exact same mistakes -- and I
mean the EXACT same mistakes -- as fired candidates on previous
seasons. It's always amazing to watch these boneheads seal their own
doom by letting history repeat itself.
- Work hard, no matter if you agree with the
project or not. DON'T COMPLAIN. Whiners are always sent home.
- wander around after everyone else was asleep
with a carving knife and a grin
- Maybe it's just the US not showing it, but Sex
Sells, Baby! In UK Big Brother shows people are always having sex and
that would keep you on the show!
- Attempt to sleep with other contestants as
often and controversially as possible. Don’t worry, in case you have
moral objections to this you don’t actually have to follow through,
just seem like you have. This shouldn’t be hard since the others
will probably be doing the same thing, just make sure you come off
better than they do. This will help to maintain the audience’s
interest, and this endear you to the producers.
- Appear to have some sort of disability which
should hinder your “survival”, but not really. E.g. if you have
poor eyesight you might “accidentally” break your glasses, but
surreptitiously wear contacts, or you might limp around like you have
an injured leg. Be creative, the idea is to make it obvious that you
are overcoming greater odds than the others, but that you’re such a
stalwart trooper you would never complain about it (everyone hates a
whiner). If you’re lucky enough to actually have some problem which
you have overcome you’re golden, look at Lance. Not meaning to mock
the afflicted in any way here, but overcoming great odds or personal
tragedies, or just seeming to, is always a crowd pleaser.
- For shows like Big Brother where it's every man
for himself, just be everyone's friend for the first half of the
season. Don't scheme, plot, or form really tight bonds with people in
the first half of the show. It's too early. Just lay low, go with the
flow, and be buddies with everyone. It's always the people who stick
out who get eliminated first in shows like Big Brother.
- This would require a bit of money, go shopping
at a "Spy" store, and get some listening "Bugs" to
plant on your competitors apparell or person. That way you would have
the advantage of knowing their plans and strategies, and secret
alliances. Knowledge is power. I fear it would be a bit distasteful to
describe an appropriate hiding location of this equipment, just use a
little prison inmate ingenuity. (Idea from: Kenneth Erstad SSgt.
U.S.A.F.)
- Don't be dishonest; remember, everything you
say and do is being recorded.
- Be the person who's never around. On MTV's The
Real World, the person who always came out looking least like the
total moron was the one who was always out of the house. So never be
seen. You won't look like an asshole at the end of the show.
- Here's my advice: Don't. Then maybe they'll
stop putting that crap on the air.
- Are we all not star's in our own reality ?
Whoa... were did that come from...
- Get naked (female) or have sex with another
contestant. You may still be eliminated for being a ho, but it makes
for good TV.
- I would hold a private meeting one at a time
with each opponet/contestant, and offer the following: If you dont
vote me off, I wont vote you off. (Not everyone will agree, but thoes
who do = less vote(s) for you. Not a gaurantee to win, but it
increases your odds. (Idea by: Kenneth Erstad)
- Make sure you are always on camera. Don't go
sulk in the corner somewhere. And always storm out of the room in a
huff, even if you're just going to get a sandwich.
- Talk about your own gamesmanship obsessively.
Make lots of 'confessional' references to your own strategy; make
little sneering comments about your 'friends' and 'allies,' stuff
along the lines of "He'll never know what hit him," or
"She's expendable." There's nothing that the home audience
likes more than arrogance, unless it's arrogance about game strategy;
there's nothing better than arrogance about game strategy, unless it's
arrogance about strategy in a game that is less chess, poker, or
bridge than it is full-contact-australian-rules-high-school-cliques.
- Don't be the lazy one! The lazy ones always go
first.
- Do not bring an instrument as your luxury item.
Especially a lute. And don't become known as the person that always
sings.
- Do not be a woman over the age of 50.
- Hang out with my wang out---D-Man
- When I was in college I was a big fan of MTV's
The Real World. I always thought it would be great if once one of the
men did the following once they got on the show. First, never talk to
anyone, ever. Second, never wear clothes (this was before Richard
Hatch on Survivor). Third, wear one of those leather gimp masks with
the zipper over the mouth all of the time. Fourth, never shower (this
was before Puck). Fifth, and most importantly, ******** in the common
areas of the house CONSTANTLY. Finally, never leave the house, even if
you get kicked/voted out.
- It might ruin that person's life, but it would
make for great TV!
- Eliminate your competition before they
eliminate you. Smothering with a pillow is very effective.
- Kill the opposition and hide the bodies when
noone is looking.
- Men need to inflate (or create) Military
experience. Women need to inflate (or create) bossoms.
- Bring a loaded shotgun as your personal item.
It's useful for starting fires, gathering food, and settling
inner-tribal disputes. It will also grant you unofficial immunity at
Tribal Council and instantly make you the most charismatic, respected,
and beloved member of the tribe.
- Be gay, or punch someone in the face. Both are
sure to make you a polarizing figure, and so the powers that be will
keep you on longer to draw ratings. Nobody wants to tune in to see
that quiet guy who wins all the contests while at the same time not
saying "Oh no you di-int!"
- Don't yell at everyone for everything.
- Jedi powers, jedi powers, or jedi powers.
Please continue reading page two of
Reality Show Contestant Advice.
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