The Telegram from my Future Self

Like so many others, I recently received a telegram from my future self.

"Meet me", it said, "outside Joann's Fabrics on Arden Way.", with a date and time. At the meeting I would be passed technical documents which would describe the technics to travel through time.

Well, there was no way I was going to miss that meeting. Luckily, the Sacramento police drunk tank frees everyone Saturday morning at 7am, so I had plenty of time to make my way to the meeting.

Immediately, I spotted an old guy coming out to meet me. He looked like he could be my grandfather! He was even holding a bag of what I assumed was time travel technology.

He even noticed me taking this photo and did a little jig for the camera! This was vintage future Rob Cockerham!

Unfortunately, he wasn't there to meet me. He was just some guy from the present! He got in his car and drove off... on the ROAD.

I continued standing around.

Unfortunately, no one showed up. I stood around for about 30 minutes, checking my watch and scanning the parking lot for flaming tire tracks and space-time warp spheres.

No luck. Actually, a little luck. Dan and Tammy, whose actual names probably vary from this guess, drove by to say hi. They recognised me from this website, and let me know I looked a little bit "like a creeper" standing around in the parking lot.

I explained the whole situation. They laughed and wished me luck.

Nothing happened. I drove home.

My friends and family were extremely disappointed that no future self had shown up. I wondered what, if anything would come next.

Then came this:

ANOTHER telegram showed up to my door.

It was a simple mix-up! Now I have a new meeting time and place.

If I know me, I'd guess this is going to be a great meeting!

Update!

As you may know, particularly if you read the page above, last month I was invited (via telegram) to a meeting with my future self. The telegram instructed me to meet in the parking lot of Joann's Fabrics. The first meeting was a bust, no one showed up. But then I got a second telegram, instructions to meet at the same place, same time, different day.

I assume that in the future there is some change in the daylight savings time interest rate, which makes long-time travel arrangements a bit tricky.

At the second meeting, someone showed up! An unassuming man with a THIRD telegram and a large cardboard box.

The telegram let me know that my future self wasn't able to make the second meeting due to a stomach bug, but that there was a consolation gift! The box was the gift. It was long, thin and tall, the kind a new bicycle comes in.

So, I gleefully accepted it, thanking the delivery man.

My thought was that this was a prank, that the bike was a time-machine booby-prize, like a "Back to the Future" themed bmx or something, We loaded it into the back of my car. I avoided asking the delivery man too many questions, as he probably wouldn't be able to answer any questions in this mystery.

It wasn't until I had said goodbye, and pulled out of the parking lot that I realized what the bike was.

I remembered the prank war.

In the last sortie, I stuck John Hargrave with a ghastly blue bicycle in Boston. I locked it to the lamppost outside his home.

Sure enough, when I opened the box at home, that's what it was. The blue bike!

Dammit!

I'm OK that he tricked me into taking back the blue bike. To that I say "Well done Hargrave".

I'm a little disappointed in myself. It seems like future me would have seen this coming.

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Learn more about the time machine telegram on John Hargrave's website Zug.com