From January 15th through the 22nd, I asked readers to send an email to be recognized on a special page. It turned out to be a whole lot of very nice, sometimes over-the-top fan letters. Letters like these are the number one motivating factor behind Cockeyed.com, it was an incredible week.
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|January 15, 2004|
Tonight I had manicotti and salad and breadsticks and red wine from the Olive Garden. I went with a girl named Sarah. She is a friend of a friend.
Im thinking about quitting the strip club.
I got a weekend job (mostly saturday afternoons) working at the ice rink.
Im a skate guard. Which means I get paid to skate for 4 hours and get my hockey legs back in shape. And I have to pick people up when they fall.
Jesus, Joseph, Mary! Toothpaste in a jar looks utterly insane!
And what does "every letter is like a fresh flower" mean? My natural instinct tells me it's just a random phrase meant to confuzzle the random-humourless, but it sounds like it just may be a genuine saying.
Just wanted to let you know: I had a dream about you last night.
You were very nice. And astonished. And hot.
Just FYI. Keep up the great work and fun!
Re: Reader Feedback Week
Is your mailbox really so empty that you need to do this? ;-) <---the winking smilie, telling you it's all cool.
Hello there! You are probably browsing the interweb site of Rob
C., a very cool guy. I thought that I would use his site to get a special
message out to the world...
I am a college student in DESPERATE NEED of money! Tuition has prettymuch bankrupted me and now even my job will probably not be enough for me to get my books and pay rent.
If you could find it in your heart to help a poor, poor college student in the Bay Area (San Francisco State University) it would be really cool. Nothing like a shot in the dark... =)
I've been an avid reader of Cockeyed.com for over a year now. It's hilarious.
Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you on your careful word choice this time. There shouldn't be too many giant attachments for you.
I have enjoyed your site so much that it inspired me
to start my own website last summer about Life in
P.S. Thanks for the Postcard from Mars!
I'm assuming my first email got lost, so I'm writing again.
I'd like to translate one (or maybe some) of the "How Much is inside" stories into portuguese (I live in Santa Catarina/Brazil).
So I'd like to know if you would be interested in that.
Please let me know.
Scoop thought you might be interested in this story from
I thought this would interest you and the rest of the Clone Army
In honor of Cockeyed.com's reader feedback week, and the
concurrence of "HPZ gives cockeyed.com feedback day," I'm giving
you the following
feedback: I like your site.
Also, I'm sticking a link on fark.com to your latest science club presentation. It'll be on the main page at 14:01:39 EST today, unless you object.
I have written a few times before in reference to your ongoing quest mentioned on http://www.cockeyed.com/personal/photos.html but have since realized that I am not having any luck in a similar quest myself. A Google image search on my name does not bring up any photos of me, despite the fact that I have changed filenames and ALT tags on my photoblog in order to get some Google attention.
So I think now, reader feedback week, would be a good time to confess that I have no idea what a webmaster can do to skew the results on a Google image search.
Best of luck to you, and I think your site is the shiz-nit. It is a role model for smart and funny websites everywhere.
A fan from Lexington KY,
Your site is awesome!!! It's the reason I wake up in the morning!!! If it wasn't for the plethora of mildly interesting information on cockeyed.com, I don't know how I would make it through each day. I love spending hours at work just drooling over the content of the pages, perusing every little last nook and cranny of your site. I'm even considering getting the Cockeyed.com logo tattooed on my forehead so everyone who sees me will see my love for your site and want to go to it and buy stuff and promote your site and make you into a multibillionaire/Demigod!!!! Muah ha ha ha ha ha (The Evil Laugh).
Jonathan in Houston
Just dropping a line to say that i really enjoy your website.
Keep up truckin!
Doug the Demographer here again. How's your end of Sacramento doing? I'm writing because you said you're actually reading your e-mails this week and I thought I'd write ya and reinstate my interest in your website and also my offer to help you with any demographical type information you might need. I'm a fully qualified demographer working for the state right here in Sacramento so I have access to all kinds of stuff they would rather not mention (but honestly, most of it is kinda boring). Drop me a note back and maybe we can get together for a home brew and discuss life's great statistical mysteries. Have a rockin' teen New Year Rob!
Doug the Demographer
Hi, I sent you an email yesterday but I'm gutted now that I missed out on your feedback week - so to make up for this I am sending yet more email to you :)
But to make this have a bit more of a point I am including a small pic of me at work, taken with my jolly camera phone, because that is how bored I truly am at the moment.
Have a nice week,
Love the site,
Thanks again for the postcard!
You should have a cockeyed.com scavenger hunt....
here's just some of the items I came up with for people to send in (if you don't want boxes of stuff cluttering your place, you can have 'em sent to my place, and I'll caculate the winner for you) the winner could get a free T-shirt or something.....everybody likes free T-shirts!
anywho, here is my list so far: (Each item worth 10 points)
A 4-leaf clover
a jigsaw puzzle piece
a wheat penny
bulb from a flashlight
a toy from a kid's meal, or cereal box
a pinback button
300 dollars in assorted board game money (Be creative, don't just use Monopoly money, use money from "operation" and "Life" as well!)
a token from a board game
the spinner from Twister
a piece of satanic jewelry
a normal 6-sided die
a die with a strange amount of #s
the Jack of Clubs
a movie ticket stub
a reciept featuring condoms and hard liquor on the same purchase (+50 points if you used Rob's Safeway club card!)
a used lottery ticket (+10 points if it's a winner, you win the contest automatically if it's worth over $500)
a library card
a hot wheels car
the disposable plastic cap from a deodorant stick (not the actual cap, but the tamper resistant inner one)
the capsule from a gumball machine
a pair of chopsticks
the volume knob from an old TV
a bic pen cap
a socket (from a socket wrench)
a page torn from a dictionary
an empty tape dispenser
a pencil sharpener
a stamp from a foreign country
a postcard featuring a landmark
an AOL disc
something featuring Willy Wonka
something with a picture of a pirate on it
a Jesus Fish
a wheel from something (preferably expensive)
a comic strip from the Sunday paper
a Lego Figure (+50 pts. if it's Carl Malone)
an Arcade Token
the tab from a soda can
an old videogame controller
a hood ornament, logo or nameplate (+50 points if it comes from an expensive foreign model)
a logo cut from an old Tennis shoe (Nike Swoosh, Converse Star, etc. +150 pts. if it's the gold logo from a pair of British Knights!)
a page torn from a romance novel
a christmas ornament
a pocket calculator
bottle caps from 3 different brands of beer
something with Hello Kitty on it
a Trivial Pursuit card
a pie wedge from Trivial Pursuit
a chess piece
a car air freshener
a pez dispenser
all items should be clearly marked, and each package should contain an itemized list of all included pieces.
maybe it'll be fun to see a bunch of people sending in useless stuff.......
thanks for looking (and you said this week you'd be displaying all email, so even if it's not a great idea, at least people will see it!)
Our queuing system lets us schedule links for random times
later in the day. The random time fark decided to go with was 14:01:39. I've
learned not to question the computer. The link was both submitted and
approved by me, and no, I'm not paying for it. I'm one of the two weirdos
running fark while Drew's out carousing with a bunch of Britons. One of the
perks of the job is getting to post links to wherever the hell I want to
(within reason). Like many people, I've been a big fan of your "How
Much is Inside" since the late 1970's. Fark used to run links to the
new episodes as they came out, but that stopped for some reason. I was
reluctant to run links to the paper towel and sharpie episodes out of a
concern that you'd grown a distaste for fark. I don't remember how I got
that impression, but I didn't want to give you any traffic you'd rather not
have. Fark's users can be a tad unfriendly, sometimes. Anyway, thanks for
having such a terrific site. I'm always astonished by your creativity and
I thought i'd just say hello because I want to be immortalized in your next reader feedback installment. I also think I found a great idea for you to try for another incredible creations episode...building your own igloo. Now being that your in California I can understand your aversion too all things snow related, but let me assure you this would be one hella cool thing to do. For more info check out my friend Gier's website (http://home.no.net/gedra/igloo_bg.htm).
hey rob, that jar of toothpaste is one of the funniest things i have ever seen, i mean, who would think to fill up a jar full of toothpaste and sell it on ebay. great idea!! website looks great, keep up the good work!! later...
PS: me and my friend got inspired to make a pair of spring shoes of our own, i will send you some pics of production and testing, which will be soon.
Why the hell did you do that? That's pretty
Hey, I read the tattoo removal story and it's great. The photos are ultra disgusting and the ones of you in the goggles are even grosser!
Hey, can Fred and I do a send-in "How much is inside?" episode for how much is inside conversation hearts for Valentine's Day? We were talking about it last night and it would be pretty funny.
I would like to know - how much money have you made from your eBay sales?
Good information for the unsuspecting. Most people won't read it because they would have to go past so many "distributor" websites to get to your site. I hope that you save at least a few people's bucks. NICE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!
what can I say? I have put
off contacting you for a while now because I feel humbled and honored to
have stumbled into such genius material on the web.
It has come to the point that I check your page so much that I get
giddy every time I see you have an updated link or story.
If ever I make it big or claim a fake lottery ticket (story),
I will make it a first priority to see that you get your own syndicated TV
show – something to the effect of Cock
Eyed for the Non Funny Guy : You are given 2 days to turn a dry
humored right-winged conservative into a comedian before their debut at
the Apollo, Sacramento
Survivor Xll : Where contestants must design the best Halloween
costume to stay in your apartment, Rob
Millionaire : We take 25 exotic beauties and tell them you are
a big successful American who has made a fortune off selling “Fine Pule
Art” on eBay, or my favorite SpongeRob
CockPants : (Umm… still checking with the FCC on this one).
These are of course just a few brainstormed ideas… we will work
out the finer details with the Al Jazeera channel later.
truly are a national treasure and I wish I had the energy and time to post
the harmless pranks, pet peeves, and every day adventures of myself –
but alas, I guess we must leave it to those who have perfected it already.
cheers to you Rob, If I ever find my way to Cali I would love to grab a
bite to eat and stare in awe at your magnificence… or if you reject my
request, I will just sit in the bushes outside your apartment and carve
little Rob Cockerhams out of discarded cigarette butts and spare shoe
laces (but I fear I have said too much).
Seriously though, I wish you continued success and I will continue
to be a loyal fan – keep up God’s work young soldier!
I like your site so much, I got dressed up just for you:
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February 22, 2004.