At the end of July, 2003, in honor of Melanie moving to San Francisco, we threw an Ultimate Outfit Party.

I wanted to assemble something incredible, but I waited until the last minute.

I was in danger of having no costume at my own costume party. Finally, with just a few hours remaining, I drove to the store and bought 18 pounds of bananas.

I wanted to make a banana skin coat.

I chose greenish bananas, because I thought they would be stronger than yellow, and therefore easiest to work with.

The straighter the banana, the easier the peel would be to use. I quickly cut the peels away from the banana. 

Immediately I ran into a problem. I planned to glue the skins onto an old jacket, but they didn't want to stick.

The hot glue couldn't adhere to the moist, slippery interior of the banana peel!

In the interest of science, I'd like to share my recipe for transforming this white material into a substance that can be smoked to obtain a hallucinogenic episode:

1. Peel 10 bananas, throw the bananas away.
2. Scrape the white mash from the peels with a spoon.
3. Use a potato masher to break up the fibers in the material.
4. Place mush (which may now be brown) into a cool ceramic bowl.
5. Fold in 3 heaping tablespoons of Angel Dust (Phencyclidine)
6. Dry and smoke

I needed to dry the peels in a hurry, but I didn't have a hair drier. I was tempted to use the oven, but decided it would be foolish to use the oven in the summertime before a party.

I blotted the skins dry with paper towels.

The strips of peel were fairly dry, but the hot glue was still slipping right off of them. 

The banana skin coat looked like it was going to be a complete failure.

I needed a dry backing, and I figured paper would work fine.

I began stapling the banana peels to paper rectangles, then gluing the rectangles to the jacket.

The back and front of the jacket were heavy with banana peels. Unfortunately, there weren't enough to cover the sleeves, so I removed them.

I'd have to settle for a banana-skin vest. I fastened my title belt, flipped up my collar, and I was ready to party!

The Ultimate Outfit Party was a success! It was an opportunity to shamelessly strut random absurd clothing without having to organize a whole cohesive costume.

Shaun, who made himself the de facto center of attention, was the hero of the night, carrying a boombox wherever he went in the house.

There was a WIDE variety of footwear.

I don't think I've ever laughed as hard at a party, ever.

The punch was delicious, but the hors d'oeuvres were largely ignored. 

Matt nudged Amy for the Ultimate Outfit trophy. His outfit included a knit hat with beer cans, a gold dollar medallion and troll slippers.

Due to my lack of skill at banana-skin tanning, my vest quickly deteriorated into a horrible black mess.

Don't worry though, it will still be good for baking banana bread.