Cockeyed.com Reader Appreciation Week 2004

Great Site, I have been reading it for a year now. I have an idea for you for your next project: A Potato Gun! They are great fun! Plus with your technical savvy, you could find something cool to do to modify it.... Here is a site that may help (Its mine) www.geocities.com/somguye/potatogun.html . Keep your great site going!

Hey Rob, it's the 'John Jacob Jingle-Heimerschmidt' guy. I first came to your website when you were featured on NPR's 'All Things Considered'. For the following week, I spent hour upon hour at my university's computer lab pouring over all of your incredible creations, pranks, episodes of 'How Much is Inside?' and the Science Club. I think it took me a total of an entire 20 hours to read over everything on your website.

Though I am not a resident of California , I think you would've been an excellent candidate for governor. Any muscle-bound Austrian can string together multi-word sentences with great effort. It takes a man of great intellect, curiosity, and questionable haircut to run the largest state economy in America with efficiency. Your excellent knowledge of Nigerian bank fraud schemes could easily protect California 's citizens from being defrauded by Nigerians.

Your keen interest in prices of gasoline and electricity could help California 's ongoing energy crisis. If you took office, I am sure that you'd find a way to make the price of a gallon of gasoline LESS than the price of a fancy bottle of Parisian tap water. If there were rolling blackouts, I'm sure you could light the highways of Los Angeles with handmade fires without using matches.

Your superior skills in pranking would also come in handy as governor. You could sneak out to the Nevada state line and change all the signs from "You are now entering Nevada" to "You are now entering California". That way, when Californians hit the state line, they think that they've taken a wrong turn and they turn around. Wackiness and hilarity ensues!

Rob, I look forward to another year of reading your zany adventures and admiring your next Halloween costume. I have a challenge for you...this year you should try dressing as "a self-fulfilling prophecy." If there's anyone out there that can do it, YOU CAN!

Kevin L. Thompson

Johnson City , TN

PS. For anyone out there who is interested, I am looking to form a fan club that will admire the magnificent Brooke Pannell. There probably won't be any meetings since Brooke's fans are all over this great land. And I probably won't have a website since I'm HTML illiterate. And I probably can't gossip or send updates about the happenings in Brooke's life since I have never met her. But nonetheless, I'm interested in forming a Brooke Pannell fan club. Pretty much, the only thing that you get from joining is saying to your envious friends: "I'm a member of the Brooke Pannell Fan Club!" E-mail me at Davidoffgoodlife@hotmail.com. Thanks.

A prank worthy of cockeyed.com

Love your site - it cracks me up every time

I have learned so much from you're site! it is wonderful. everyday i check to see if you've added more, and i beam whenever you do! thank's for making my day a little less stressful.

-quinn

Keep up the great work, loved the Jenga costume and proudly display my piece of it in my home. Get a few strange looks about it, but oh well.

That's all, Just Thanks.

$195. that I really didn't need to spend, and you showed me why very nicely with your site.

America is drowning in AOL free trial CDs. Please save us. There has to be another use for these discs. It sounds like a job for cockeyed.com!

-Barbie

Something about Sean Penn tells me that he's a bad guy. Like one that will take you out and shoot you in the back of the knee and tell you that a shot to the back of the knee was just what you deserved, and that he was really doing you a favor.

I liked "Cold Mountain". I recommend it.

ps. Just kidding about the dipshit thing.

You are my hero. Your site is amazing, and truly is what the internet was made for. So many, many, many topics, all of which are hilarious. One of my favorite moments being the "Smashing Pumpkin Technique" on how to cover up other people in pictures of you. Plus the Bad Things list is amazing.

Your paper mache globe is outstanding! I am in a college sculpture class and our assignment requires that we make a "hat" (headdress) that best describes our personality. I quickly conjured an image and then realized that I had no idea where or how to start. Since I had committed to this image in my sketchbook, there was no going back! Off to the internet! I had not done paper mache since the second grade and had no idea how to make the darn paste. Your website was my godsend! I am just praying that this rainy weather that we are have and the 100% humidity won't affect it too adversely! Any recommendations or advice that you can provide would be greatly appreciated! By the way, I couldn't stop with just one of your projects...I had to go in and see almost all of them until I realized I was putting myself in a time crunch and the stores close at 9:00 pm...Thank you ever so much and am looking forward to any suggestions....

Mimi the Greek in South Texas

I've been hooked on your site for a couple of weeks now and thought you might like to see some pics of my very own creations. The one that is a red, scaley, skorpo-cobra-mantis-thing is my personal favorite. I made it last year in eighth grade and the project was to simply create a monster, so this is what I thought up. It was my first time with paper-mache and I was suprised at how well it turned out, I added a few extra touches like the light up eyes (I soldered a bright red L.E.D. I harvested from a McDonald's toy to a battery pack and switch which are hidden in the throat) and the clay claws and feet tips. After it being displayed in my school library and my mistake to show everyone in class where the light switch was, I got it back missing a claw and all of its posterboard teeth were bent up.

The other two were in my freshman art class with a teacher who didn't allow as much freedom as my middleschool teacher (I miss him, he was cool) so I didn't like them quite as much, but they were still pretty fun. The stair-style pot with the gecko on the side was from a project in which we had to incorporate some animal in the pot. So I made a cool looking pot and slapped a gecko on it, can't go wrong with clay... The last one was pretty fun too. We had to make a funny face, and I simply don't make funny faces so I made an Easter-Island (is that where it's from?) head and body with flames on top. I made slits for eyes, made an open mouth, and painted the inside with a red glaze so that when I placed a candle in the bottom, the eyes and mouth glowed a firey red. I tried mixing black and white glazes to get a rocky grey color, but with glazes, you can't tell, so I got a black color, which still turned out cool I guess.

Well, thanks for your time and hope you reply,

I mostly writing this email because it's Reader Appreciation Week at cockeyed.com, and I'll admit, I'd love to see my name on your site.... But I'm also writing to tell you how cool your site actually is. I really enjoy reading all the different articles and story's, and look forward to new adventures being posted.

Thanks for all the laughs,

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Hi Rob, long time viewer, first time emailer!!!! I like your website because it keeps me laughing with all the silly things you and your pals do. I have done a few silly things in my time you know... one time me and my mate Marty made purple pancakes as an experiment. they were aweful, so we took the cold pancakes (soaked in maple syrup and cream) and mushed them up into a smooth paste. we then took this purple mess and put it in snap lock plastic bags, and sealed the bags in envelopes. On the front of the envelopes we wrote in thick black letters: "BADRE FACIAL CARE... for more information please contact Bill Watson." we then delivered these into the letterboxes of every single house on Bill Watson's street (except of course Bill's!!). Now unfortunately neither Marty nor I really knew Bill Watson well. we weren't in contact with him, so we never found out exactly how much confusion and chaos our little stunt caused, but I can tell you that even to this day, either one of us simply has to mention Badre facial care to the other and Me and Marty will both end up in stiches just imagining the look on Bill Watsons face!!! Keep up the lunacy... and please... it is time for a new prank!!!! Daniel Mountford Melbourne, Australia
Do you believe that you can get electronics for free and "only pay for shipping and handling" or is this just another scam to get their damn $10.00? The source www.getelectronicsfree.com Is this just junk?
Hey Rob, I really enjoy the site, it’s a lot of fun. You pull some great pranks, and the how much is inside experiments have been replicated by some people I know in an inebriated state, and that makes it even more fun. Anyway, in honor of your site, I have posted my own auction which I believe you yourself would enjoy. I bring to you – A Stack of Hotcakes. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2980208101 Sincerely, TheLocoYoko
Great Site, I have been reading it for a year now. I have an idea for you for your next project: A Potato Gun! They are great fun! Plus with your technical savvy, you could find something cool to do to modify it.... Here is a site that may help (Its mine) www.geocities.com/somguye/potatogun.html . Keep your great site going! Prowlershark
While they don't have electric window screens that double as flah displays yet, it can't be much longer until they appear given this: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=562&e=3&u=/ap/future_windows -- Stefan E. Jones, Senior QA Engineer, nCUBE
Hey Rob, it's the 'John Jacob Jingle-Heimerschmidt' guy. I first came to your website when you were featured on NPR's 'All Things Considered'. For the following week, I spent hour upon hour at my university's computer lab pouring over all of your incredible creations, pranks, episodes of 'How Much is Inside?' and the Science Club. I think it took me a total of an entire 20 hours to read over everything on your website. Though I am not a resident of California , I think you would've been an excellent candidate for governor. Any muscle-bound Austrian can string together multi-word sentences with great effort. It takes a man of great intellect, curiosity, and questionable haircut to run the largest state economy in America with efficiency. Your excellent knowledge of Nigerian bank fraud schemes could easily protect California 's citizens from being defrauded by Nigerians. Your keen interest in prices of gasoline and electricity could help California 's ongoing energy crisis. If you took office, I am sure that you'd find a way to make the price of a gallon of gasoline LESS than the price of a fancy bottle of Parisian tap water. If there were rolling blackouts, I'm sure you could light the highways of Los Angeles with handmade fires without using matches. Your superior skills in pranking would also come in handy as governor. You could sneak out to the Nevada state line and change all the signs from "You are now entering Nevada" to "You are now entering California". That way, when Californians hit the state line, they think that they've taken a wrong turn and they turn around. Wackiness and hilarity ensues! Rob, I look forward to another year of reading your zany adventures and admiring your next Halloween costume. I have a challenge for you...this year you should try dressing as "a self-fulfilling prophecy." If there's anyone out there that can do it, YOU CAN! Kevin L. Thompson Johnson City , TN PS. For anyone out there who is interested, I am looking to form a fan club that will admire the magnificent Brooke Pannell. There probably won't be any meetings since Brooke's fans are all over this great land. And I probably won't have a website since I'm HTML illiterate. And I probably can't gossip or send updates about the happenings in Brooke's life since I have never met her. But nonetheless, I'm interested in forming a Brooke Pannell fan club. Pretty much, the only thing that you get from joining is saying to your envious friends: "I'm a member of the Brooke Pannell Fan Club!" E-mail me at Davidoffgoodlife@hotmail.com. Thanks.
Since it's now reader feedback week, I thought I'd send this again: A prank worthy of cockeyed.com http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/155777_foilroom08.html Love your site - it cracks me up every time
I have learned so much from you're site! it is wonderful. everyday i check to see if you've added more, and i beam whenever you do! thank's for making my day a little less stressful. -quinn
Yello. Seeing as how tis reader thingy period n all, i thought i might send the Best Joke in the World. Yes, so good It Requires random capital Letters! This joke is guaranteed* to make any person laugh, if indeed they have the capability to do so at all. But enough chitchat, on with the joke! P.S. I've tried to americanise this joke.....until i realised ive not been to america and dont know much anyway. ah well. A man walks into a bar. Ouch! Kidding! not the best joke. but certainly one of high calibur. A man walks into a bar. Seeing as how its the superbowl, all his various manly, doritos eating, cheese smelling pals are all at home/ the game. So it's just him and the bartender in an empty bar. The man (lets call him Jim) walks up to the bar and says to the bartender, "Can i get a beer please?". Well, ths bartender looks surprised that anyone else is her, seeing as how its the superbowl an all. So he turns to Jim, and he says " Well, love to help but seeing as how I didnt think anyone would be in here today, I havent bothered to turn on the taps. Im only open so I can claim less tax. Wait right there though, I'll just go and get you a beer." So the bartender walks out of the room, and Jim is left alone. He sits there, thinking for a while on no particular thing. Suddenly, he hears a voice. "Hi! I really like you!" Jim looks around, astonished. There is no-one to be seen! where can this voice be coming from, he asks himself. He figues its just his imagination, and ignores it. But then, again he hears the voice; "I really really like youuu!" Now Jim is starting to get nervous. He checks all around the bar, but no-ones there. He decides to wait to see if he hears it one more time. Three times is the charm, after all. "I love you!" Jim jumps up from his stool in fright just as the bartender walks back into the room with Jim's pint. "hey, what the hell is going on here? i keep hearing this voice, saying nice things to me!" Jim challenges the bartender. The bartender grins sheepishly as he puts down Kim's pint of beer. "oh, that. its just the peanuts" he says, pointing to a bowl near Jim. "Theyre complimentary". aha! see, this is the great wit of out time indeed. or something anyway. probably a remnant of some countries nuclear program; everything else seems to be anyway. oh well. i realise u may have heard the joke afore. or that ull find it not funny. but hey, i gave it a go. at least i didnt dance around naked or anything to get on the site. that'd just be demeaning. bye! Skeet, UK
Keep up the great work, loved the Jenga costume and proudly display my piece of it in my home. Get a few strange looks about it, but oh well. Play up Pompey! Geoffrey Holland Burnaby, BC, Canada
Hey Rob, I've been reading your site for a while and have developed a few questions for you. Do you think that I could help with one of your science club experiments sometime? I am a high school math teacher in Salinas, CA and also have a license to teach Physics, so I might actually be of some help. Also, could you suggest some ideas in order to increase the amount of fun that is had on my website, www.stufflife.com? Thanks, bud. I hope you have a great week and aren't too overwhelmed with all of the letters you receive this week. Dennis
Rob-- Like so many, I chanced upon your site when scouring the web for a photograph of hundreds of ketchup packets. I found your story about making a bear frame, fixing hundreds of ketchup packets to it, and shooting it in an unsuccessful attempt to have a super bloody-ish bear shooting event. I immediately read the rest of your site, and have kept up with it in the years since. In case you've forgotten, or haven't had your coffee yet today and are feeling sluggish with a drowsy head: you rock. That's right. Thank you for providing great, thoughtful, funny entertainment and knowledge. For the hell of it, here are some poorly thought-out suggestions for a future "How Much Is Inside?" - How many graffiti signature tags can you make with a can of spraypaint? - How many accidental pregnancies can a tube of spermicide help prevent? - How many boots can you oil/spray/wax with a tube/spraycan/tub of waterproofing agent? - How many times in a row can you blast the song "Barbie Girl" before your neighbors begin firing bullets straight into your house? How does this number compare to those who live in apartments with poor noise insulation? Anyway, again, thanks for all the effort you put into the fantastic stuff on your site. Edmund
Hi Rob, I've been reading your site with an almost religious zeal for well over 18 months now and I'm hooked. At very least it relieves the boredom of being the tech nerd in an accounting practice at the arse-end of the world, at best it inspires me to do stuff (tm). Your pranks et al are extremely well thought out and even on occasion I find your site to be a valuable resource (laser tattoo removal is something I've been thinking about for sometime, I may just get tattooed so I can have it done). Keep up the science experiments, they seem to be far more practical than genetics research, biomed and theoretical physics..... Regards, Glenn A. Coutts Morrish Business Services Pty Ltd 309-311 Kooyong Rd Elsternwick, Vic 3185 AUSTRALIA
That's all, Just Thanks. $195. that I really didn't need to spend, and you showed me why very nicely with your site. Craig A.
I'm using your offer to show off pictures from our baby's first Christmas. Oh, and thanks for adding me to the Clone Army. I have nothing witty to say so I'll stop there. ir kr
Rob, cockeyed has provided endless entertainment for many a year for me. Your godlike craft skills and dynamic wit and humor make for possibly the best site in the entire world. But, overall I think your craft skill is most impressive. If there was a Nobel Prize for arts and crafts, I'm sure you would win it. Attached is a picture of a cute kitten with a lime. Johnathan Lassoff
America is drowning in AOL free trial CDs. Please save us. There has to be another use for these discs. It sounds like a job for cockeyed.com! -Barbie
i'm not joking that across the street there is a ton of flash photography and I think the king of pop himself is having a press conference about 1/8th mile away from here. wow. Johnathan Lassoff
subject: your dipshit face Something about Sean Penn tells me that he's a bad guy. Like one that will take you out and shoot you in the back of the knee and tell you that a shot to the back of the knee was just what you deserved, and that he was really doing you a favor. I liked "Cold Mountain". I recommend it. Visit my website at http://www.geocities.com/farmofarmo Joe ps. Just kidding about the dipshit thing.
Dear Sir, Is your JAR OF TOOTHPASTE year-2000 compliant? The last toothpaste solution I tried crashed when brushing on days starting with 'T'. Thank you, Mike
Rob, you're my hero. I've read your page front to back and I have to say I loved every minute. I still check your page every day for new content. If you ever happen to be in Colorado, mail me up and I can show you around. Keep up the good work. - Andy
Great site. Loving the sweatshirt! Check out another great site: http://tjb2004.deviantart.com/gallery/
You are my hero. Your site is amazing, and truly is what the internet was made for. So many, many, many topics, all of which are hilarious. One of my favorite moments being the "Smashing Pumpkin Technique" on how to cover up other people in pictures of you. Plus the Bad Things list is amazing. Thank you. Jeff.
Rob-- Your paper mache globe is outstanding! I am in a college sculpture class and our assignment requires that we make a "hat" (headdress) that best describes our personality. I quickly conjured an image and then realized that I had no idea where or how to start. Since I had committed to this image in my sketchbook, there was no going back! Off to the internet! I had not done paper mache since the second grade and had no idea how to make the darn paste. Your website was my godsend! I am just praying that this rainy weather that we are have and the 100% humidity won't affect it too adversely! Any recommendations or advice that you can provide would be greatly appreciated! By the way, I couldn't stop with just one of your projects...I had to go in and see almost all of them until I realized I was putting myself in a time crunch and the stores close at 9:00 pm...Thank you ever so much and am looking forward to any suggestions.... Mimi the Greek in South Texas
The jar you sell isn't sane or fair. There is a reason the paste comes in the tubes. Does the air attack my paste? Yes, and the air injures the paste, makes it hardened crust and crust is not paste at all. Even with one lid screwed onto the rim of your jar, my paste becomes what can be called "the crust of it." It is a pleasure to denounce that dumb jar.
Dear Rob, I've been hooked on your site for a couple of weeks now and thought you might like to see some pics of my very own creations. The one that is a red, scaley, skorpo-cobra-mantis-thing is my personal favorite. I made it last year in eighth grade and the project was to simply create a monster, so this is what I thought up. It was my first time with paper-mache and I was suprised at how well it turned out, I added a few extra touches like the light up eyes (I soldered a bright red L.E.D. I harvested from a McDonald's toy to a battery pack and switch which are hidden in the throat) and the clay claws and feet tips. After it being displayed in my school library and my mistake to show everyone in class where the light switch was, I got it back missing a claw and all of its posterboard teeth were bent up. The other two were in my freshman art class with a teacher who didn't allow as much freedom as my middleschool teacher (I miss him, he was cool) so I didn't like them quite as much, but they were still pretty fun. The stair-style pot with the gecko on the side was from a project in which we had to incorporate some animal in the pot. So I made a cool looking pot and slapped a gecko on it, can't go wrong with clay... The last one was pretty fun too. We had to make a funny face, and I simply don't make funny faces so I made an Easter-Island (is that where it's from?) head and body with flames on top. I made slits for eyes, made an open mouth, and painted the inside with a red glaze so that when I placed a candle in the bottom, the eyes and mouth glowed a firey red. I tried mixing black and white glazes to get a rocky grey color, but with glazes, you can't tell, so I got a black color, which still turned out cool I guess. Well, thanks for your time and hope you reply, Andrew
Rob, I mostly writing this email because it's Reader Appreciation Week at cockeyed.com, and I'll admit, I'd love to see my name on your site.... But I'm also writing to tell you how cool your site actually is. I really enjoy reading all the different articles and story's, and look forward to new adventures being posted. Thanks for all the laughs, Katrina Victoria, BC
Hey rob, You're site is one of the funniest i have ever read and You've inspired me to prank my own local shopping centre. I'll send you the pics when i do :) hope you keep it up and running for along time. Yours sincerly, Ellie (your biggest fan)
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Reader Feedback Week 2004