No light in walk-in closet. No garbage disposal. Shower liner juts out for the shelves so when you want to take a bath, you can't sit up straight, you need to lean to the side to fit. Closets not deep enough to fit standard hangers. Electrical outlet is too far from the phone jack to plug in the answering machine. Entrance door from the garage and basement door open into each other. Attic stairs too steep AND narrow. A couple different apartments I lived in advertised outside patio storage - which ended up being a closet on the patio that housed the water heater. What the hell? The CAPTCHA is Elvis! Why won't you take my comment!!!!
posted by Noob | Wednesday 18th of April 2007 10:51 pm

Previous owners thought it would be a fantastic idea to KICK a cat-hole in the door from the basement to the garage...and realized too late that it was a steel-backed door. Brilliant.
posted by Kathryn | Wednesday 18th of April 2007 10:55 pm

i don't have a house - that is the main problem
posted by george | Wednesday 18th of April 2007 11:28 pm

mold that doesn't go away
posted by Kris | Wednesday 18th of April 2007 11:43 pm

The rapid weasels under the house are too bitey.
posted by Paul | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:23 am

The rabid weasels under the house are too bitey.
posted by Paul | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:29 am


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:32 am

the cabinets hang so low you can't put anything useful underneath them on the counter like a microwave!
posted by Tia | Thursday 19th of April 2007 1:36 am

Mine's haunted as well. As have most of my previous homes. :(
posted by RF | Thursday 19th of April 2007 1:46 am

Squeeky floors - especially in high traffic areas like the bathroom and in front of the fridge. Very annoying at night time when the wee one is sleeping.
posted by Chrystal | Thursday 19th of April 2007 1:55 am

There are no 90 degree angles in the whole house. 87 is about as close as we get.
posted by Booj-angles | Thursday 19th of April 2007 2:09 am

a Nosy neighbor. You should spot them peaking through curtains, doors or over fence, the moment you pull up the driveway, or park in the street. They are also more difficult to get rid of, than to replace the 50c rubber seal in the tap that bangs when you try to find a "middle-speed"...
posted by Francois Roux | Thursday 19th of April 2007 5:38 am

1. No drainage in yard 2. Cheap rugs and flooring that stain easily 3. Cheap paint that comes off when you wash the wall 4. Cheap cabinets that break right away 5. Non-square walls (in a brand-new house) 6. Inadequate electrical service 7. Absolutely no storage (esp. shelving) 8. No landing at the top of the stairs, so I'm always afraid my kids will fall 9. Insufficient loam/really poor fill that prevents grass from growing 10. Cheap doors and windows that break when you use them
posted by JPLemme | Thursday 19th of April 2007 6:37 am

The stove has digital temperature controls which are horribly erratic, and only sporadically effective.
posted by Aaron | Thursday 19th of April 2007 6:54 am

A creaky sub-floor in the kitchen which makes getting a clandestine midnight snack a noisy affair.
posted by Jeff | Thursday 19th of April 2007 6:57 am

The grading of the land around the corner of our brand new house was too steep. The rain rushes through and erodes all the dirt. Grass can't grow because the seed is washed away with the first rain. BTW -- that stupid Celebrity CAPTCHAs is ridiculously difficult.
posted by Josh | Thursday 19th of April 2007 7:00 am


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 7:07 am

The shape and layout of the living room (windows, doorways) is not very conducive to television watching. With a smaller screen, it's fine for a couple people. When you add more people and many inches to the TV, it just doesn't work well.
posted by Gilligan | Thursday 19th of April 2007 8:06 am

My house was 12 years old when I bought it. All of these presumably dated from its construction, and had never been fixed by the previous owners: The insulation in the attic was only placed around the attic entrance, to fool anyone that just poked their head up and glanced around. The rest was bare sheetrock and rafters. (fixed) There was a giant 1x2 foot hole in the wall hidden behind the mirror in the downstairs bathroom. (fixed) The p-trap in the kitchen sink was just stuck onto the pipe, not glued. This resulted in leaks, and eventually rotted out the bottom of the cabinet. That had been fixed before I bought the place, but as the home inspector said "that bucket is there for a reason". I am still boggled that someone didn't spend 10 minutes and some PVC cement on that. (fixed) The faucet on the kitchen sink was held on by the pipes. There were no bolts or nuts fastening it to the sink. I think they forgot to slide the nuts on before attaching the pipe. (fixed by replacing the faucet) The siding was essentially just extra-stiff cardboard. It did not hold up well to weather, and there were spots where it had softened enough that I could poke a hole in it with my finger. There was a class-action lawsuit that I could have collected damages from, but I didn't discover this until a week before we had scheduled a contractor to replace it. Getting it inspected would have caused months of delay, and only paid for the parts that were actually damaged, so we decided to just blow that off. (fixed) (BTW the CAPTCHA thing SUCKS. Not everyone reads People Magazine, and I have no idea who those people are. This is attempt 5, and I had to refresh 13 times before I got someone I thought I recognized.)
posted by Joe D | Thursday 19th of April 2007 8:31 am

We found out a guy shot himself in our house. Although it wasn't recent, it's still creepy!
posted by Kara | Thursday 19th of April 2007 8:31 am


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 9:54 am


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 10:21 am


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 10:31 am

Shower Temperature Fluctuation
posted by Andy | Thursday 19th of April 2007 10:35 am


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 10:52 am

There is a 2-inch gap under every door in the house that somehow we never noticed when touring it before we bought it.
posted by Stacey | Thursday 19th of April 2007 10:53 am

My house is over 100 years old. The biggest issue with it is the bathroom sink, which is small, in a corner, and the faucets are reversed so cold is hot and hot is cold. I brush my teeth in the kitchen sink.
posted by Trisha | Thursday 19th of April 2007 10:56 am


posted by Mandy | Thursday 19th of April 2007 10:59 am


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 11:11 am


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 11:12 am


posted by | face=verdana size=1>posted by Zombiegirl | Thursday 19th of April 2007 11:40 am

My house is actually pretty awesome. This kitchen is too small and my bedroom is never quite the right temperature (but you can get it close enough), but I like my house.
posted by Peter | Thursday 19th of April 2007 11:47 am

Turns out we own the street, too. So now that it needs paving, guess who gets to pay.
posted by Ellen | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:01 pm

In our old house, the pipes used to bang if you didn't turn the water off all the way after turning it on full. We got accused of banging on the ceiling with a broom one night because of it, but Kelly Parker (our upstairs neighbor) was a hoe with an agenda, so...
posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:08 pm

Ya got to get rid of this feature already. It's a pain to use, stupid in design and will only invite disparaging comments.
posted by Caveman | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:33 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:41 pm

The basement floods!
posted by Scott | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:44 pm

Shower of neighboring apartment is deafening when the water is turned on.
posted by rich | Thursday 19th of April 2007 12:47 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 1:09 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 1:10 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 1:12 pm

The outlets in the restroom don't work, but I guess that would be a bad thing if they did...
posted by BV | Thursday 19th of April 2007 1:19 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 1:38 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2 Northeast. The house and grounds had been completed rehauled and flipped by the people who did the fixing. After moving in I realized that I had a spider problem due to the grounds around the house being completely torn up. I killed approximately 200 spiders in the 1 1/2 years I lived there. No way to know about this ahead of time, but what a horrible problem. Spiders on the toilet paper, spiders in the sink, spiders walking across my face while I slept. Thank goodness I am not afraid of spiders! It is not their fault, they were just looking for a new home.
posted by Pam | Thursday 19th of April 2007 4:01 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 4:05 pm

Water heater is gas and is stored in the attic. During windy days the old ass heaters pilot goes out which means a trip upstairs to re light it. Living in the corner apartment and there is a hole in the outer wall which allows crickets to get in between the inner and outer walls and not knowing how to get out. This results in pissed off crickets that want to "do it" one last time before they die so they chirp all night and there is no room in the house you can go to to avoid it. Its like a horror movie. Most prevelant during the months of July through September in Louisiana.
posted by John Latham | Thursday 19th of April 2007 5:00 pm

Wall to wall carpeting, including the bathroom. That's just never a good idea.
posted by Zach | Thursday 19th of April 2007 5:51 pm

My Current house: high living room ceilings so no matter how loud you turn the damn TV up, you still can't hear it. And no door at the top of the stairs leading to the kid wing - really loud up there means really loud in the adult section. To watch for in the house I moved out of: holes in some of the closet doors caused by kids whipping the doors into those clever little door stops that fit on the hinges. The holes, however, were not noticed by the unsuspecting buyer because I sneakily hot-glued decorative 'striker' plates on all the closet doors where the door stops hit, so it looks 'intentional' and 'decorforget it. No water pressure at all. 2 people can not wash their hands at the same time. For real!
posted by Stacy | Thursday 19th of April 2007 7:36 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 7:46 pm

Kitty corner neighbors are obnoxious--they and their friends enjoy blasting their car stereo systems and litter all over the place. Plus their cat is a punk. Just 4 months after buying our place, Seattle was hit with a major rain/wind storm (11/06)--we dealt with a flooded basement and a neighbors tree on our roof! Luckily roof damage was minor (though we had to deal with our home insurance deductible) but we will need to work on water issues with our basement. Only 2 grounded outlets in the whole house (1 of them in the attic). Only 1 phone outlet in the whole house.
posted by Lisa | Thursday 19th of April 2007 7:51 pm

I recently moved to Minneapolis. Prior to that, I lived in Milwaukee. And out of the half-dozen or so places I lived in Milwaukee...Not ONE PLACE...Not a SINGLE ONE...Had so much as a lick of counter space in the kitchen. Appliances, sure, sink, yes, cupboards, usually...But never so much as a square foot of prep area. Drove me nuts. Thankfully, Minneapolis architects know the benefits of sweet, blessed counter space. Now, at long last, I can bloody well cook.
posted by Jim | Thursday 19th of April 2007 8:13 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 8:46 pm

is this a joke? how am i supposed to know who that is? i'm guessing its bono.....
posted by gina | Thursday 19th of April 2007 9:28 pm


posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 9:30 pm

Most of the problems are fixed now, but when we bought the house, all of the interior doors had been kicked in. This meant that our bathroom door did not latch shut. We used our ironing board as a door lock until we finally replaced the door 3 years later! The roof leaked and needed replacing. Ants were drawn to the wet wood and took up residence in the bedroom ceiling. When we cut into the c=verdana size=1>posted by | Thursday 19th of April 2007 11:06 pm

sucks
posted by this | Thursday 19th of April 2007 11:10 pm

manager
posted by spam | Thursday 19th of April 2007 11:11 pm

its in texas
posted by bob doibbs | Thursday 19th of April 2007 11:12 pm

The kitchen counters are the wrong height, and the sink doesn't have enough clearance under the counter for the drain pipe, so there's often standing water in the pipes under the sink basin.
posted by Grace | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:15 am

Everything is white and glass... it feels like a darn hospital. Also, the floor on the 2nd floor are very thin and you can hear everyone walking around. It only really affects me since I'm on the first floor under 2 bedrooms.
posted by Cassie B. | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:29 am

ants
posted by Shiney McShine | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:55 am

The heating system in my house is very uneven. One room can be freezing cold, and another too hot to be comfortable.
posted by Dan | Friday 20th of April 2007 1:02 am

Everything!
posted by Andy | Friday 20th of April 2007 1:10 am


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 6:08 am

In my room at uni, the ceiling was a foot higher in one corner than in the other, at one end. It was fifteenth century though, so it was understandable!
posted by James K | Friday 20th of April 2007 6:33 am

Weird "corner cupboard" with a flexi-door... and the half of the door that latches is only about 3" long. Why bother making this hinged at all?
posted by Scott | Friday 20th of April 2007 7:23 am

it's a condo in an 8 floor building (4 condos to a floor) where if anyone in the whole building turns the water on or off, it messes with the shower. ANYONE. P.S. the CAPCHA thing is not going to work very well if my picture was Sting and the URL for the picture was "http://www.cockeyed.com/personal/house/hat2.php?staople are always accidentally turning off stereo equipment and clocks by flipping the switches.
posted by molly | Friday 20th of April 2007 9:47 am


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 10:13 am

Also, the window above my bed is loose in its frame. It rattles every time I walk around the room and when the maintenance crew cleaned the outside of the building with a power washer it water seeped in around the edges. I can hear every car pull into the parking lot.
posted by Joel | Friday 20th of April 2007 10:36 am


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 11:11 am

Attic was full of wasps!!
posted by Ida | Friday 20th of April 2007 11:54 am


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:12 pm


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:14 pm

Bedroom door doesn't shut properly
posted by Michael | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:16 pm

My house once sucked my daughter, Carol Anne, into the TV set. We had to use a short clairvoyant to coax Carol Anne away from the light.
posted by Steve Freeling | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:19 pm

A door when locked can only be unlocked by twisting the knob and key the wrong way at once. =(. Easily fixed though. It just made me sad.
posted by Paris Hilton | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:45 pm


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 12:45 pm

Please get rid of this celebrity thing. It's so annoying. Your website is better than this.
posted by Jay | Friday 20th of April 2007 1:01 pm

My house once sucked my daughter, Carol Anne, into the TV set. We had to use a short clairvoyant to coax Carol Anne away from the light.
posted by Steve Freeling | Friday 20th of April 2007 1:40 pm


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 1:41 pm

My bed springs are rusty so it makes an aweful noise. I also wake up in a puddle of water. I think my ceiling leaks
posted by joshua | Friday 20th of April 2007 4:01 pm


posted by Sara | Friday 20th of April 2007 4:03 pm

nothing will grow in the front yard because the last owner poured bleach all over it to kill weeds.
posted by daniela | Friday 20th of April 2007 4:21 pm

stuff
posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 4:48 pm

Box elder beetles. end of story.
posted by Chuk | Friday 20th of April 2007 4:51 pm

Too close to the highway, constant noise even though it's in a wooded area 1/2 mile away from the road. Don't see a house in a snow storm, it deadens the tire noise on the road. And leaves on lots of trees don't do much to reduce the noise.
posted by Harv | Friday 20th of April 2007 4:54 pm

mice
posted by garrett | Friday 20th of April 2007 5:12 pm

no madonna
posted by madonna | Friday 20th of April 2007 5:22 pm

too far from tijuana hookers
posted by teddy | Friday 20th of April 2007 5:23 pm

Three words: AS BEST OS
posted by bobbi0 | Friday 20th of April 2007 5:41 pm

Ok. That's just dumb. The captcha looks like a warped snowman, and the source reveals the correct answer is "jack".
posted by captcha sucks | Friday 20th of April 2007 6:24 pm


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 6:44 pm

drafty windows, no storage for sheets or bathroom items, barely any cabinets, tiny oven
posted by nathalie | Friday 20th of April 2007 7:32 pm


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 8:33 pm


posted by | Friday 20th of April 2007 8:56 pm

too small. No storage. And then there is the neighbor who makes meth and sells it. You would think the rotten smells and the cacti he has under his window (to protect himself from his customers 21st of April 2007 2:06 am


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 3:22 am

The toilet in the guest bathroom is wobbly.
posted by Mike the Muffuletta Guy | Saturday 21st of April 2007 6:58 am

The toilet in the guest bathroom is wobbly.
posted by Mike the Muffuletta Guy | Saturday 21st of April 2007 6:58 am

Handle on folding closet door is on the wrong side. Bathroom door doesn't catch.
posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 8:22 am

The linen closet smells like old lady. No matter how many times I wash it with bleach it never goes away, and it makes my linens smell bad.
posted by Hope | Saturday 21st of April 2007 8:29 am

Former owner did many stupid/dangerous things: Cut large section of the main beam running down the center of the house with a chainsaw (probably so there'd be more headroom at the foot of the basement stairs). Used two lead lamp cord for wiring in walls, none of it clipped or maretted, much of it just electrical taped together. Installed heating ducts, but ran them inside the walls, so there were random drywalled columns running everywhere - also managed to leave some of them disconnected from their output registers, so they just spewed hot air into wall cavities. Hid big holes in the flooring with strategically placed rugs on original inspection. Kitchen had no cupboards, just wire shelving - continuous rain of mortar sand from exposed brick wall collected on all exposed items in kitchen. Insulated cold leaks around doors and windows by stuffing with plastic bags. Drywalled over old lathe a plaster, burying trims and hicks almost flash with new wall surface. Allowed eavestroughing to fall apart creating virtual Niagara Falls over large wall area - resulting winter freeze/thaw spalled alot of the brick, and created wet basement. mold, etc. Found evidence of significant fire in house, that had been drywalled and painted over. Leak in flat roof had been repaired from the *inside* by continually adding layers of plywood and spraytex to the ceiling, subtracting in total about 3 inches of ceiling height.
posted by Marc | Saturday 21st of April 2007 8:35 am

the neighbors
posted by bk | Saturday 21st of April 2007 10:16 am


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 10:22 am

=1>posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 2:00 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 3:11 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 3:14 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 3:29 pm

See if the carpets are loose against the wall. If you can pull it up a bit, do so, the floor underneath may not be what you expected. WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T IT ACCEPT CLINT EASTWOOD OR HILARY CLINTON??????? I KNOW IT WAS THEM, AAAAARGGGHHHHHHHH. And for the record, the word "Captcha" is incredibly annoying.
posted by Michaelangelo | Saturday 21st of April 2007 4:10 pm

It's a good thing Capthca is smart enough to distort and scratch out the celebrities, computer SPAM is so good now that it can actually scan a picture, identify the image, and type in said celebrity. It, however, can not tell the celebrity when such trickery alteration is used. Gotta be careful....
posted by Michaelangelo | Saturday 21st of April 2007 4:14 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 4:17 pm

Pre-war pipes. Now, I don't think they made plumbing worse back then or anything, but there comes a time even in the best built house with the best plumbing, where they wear out. And they are wearing out about 2 years after I bought the place. Slowly put surely we are replacing everything with new pipes. Fun...
posted by Steve | Saturday 21st of April 2007 4:43 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 4:55 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 5:00 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 5:59 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 6:00 pm

It may seem very simple, but make sure that the floorboards are actually joined closely together and you're not getting drafts from under the house (which, of course, you should check if its insulated) (Took me three tries to find a celebrity I knew the name of :D)
posted by Rupert Gilliand | Saturday 21st of April 2007 6:55 pm


posted by | Saturday 21st of April 2007 7:00 pm


posted by el | Saturday 21st of April 2007 7:01 pm


posted by Candice | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 5:32 am


posted by | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 8:46 am

the smell
posted by bob | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 11:02 am

No electrical outlets in the bathroom; tree in front yard turns out to shed tons of gross pods (it does this during a different season from the one in which I decided to buy the house); water heater randomly stop working and has to be relit; mailman is an asshole. Neighborhood isn't that great, but I kind of knew that moving in.
posted by Pyro | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 2:20 pm

Radon gas in the basement!
posted by B.T. | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 3:04 pm

Sunlight turns house into toaster oven in the afternoon. Our house gets at least three to four hours of unobstructed sunlight in the afternoon that makes the back rooms unbearably hot. No window treatments have been able to correct this problem.
posted by Ruth | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 3:52 pm


posted by | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 3:53 pm

Poorly insulated (NONE)
posted by TBA | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 4:02 pm


posted by | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 5:29 pm

Bono!
posted by | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 6:14 pm

the faucet in the tub leaks...
posted by Trex | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 6:36 pm


posted by | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 7:31 pm

broken floor joist
posted by mike | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 7:31 pm

paper bag lunch left behind in windowseat from when house was built. sandwich and all.
posted by sherringham | Sunday 22nd of April 2007 7ted by | Monday 23rd of April 2007 7:57 am

My apartment is right over the jet stream from industrial New Jersey. If I leave my windows open, I get soot on every surface.
posted by M. | Monday 23rd of April 2007 9:08 am


posted by | Monday 23r>posted by | Monday 23rd of April 2007 1:43 pm

Wow you're an idiot for inventing these celebrity captchas. I wouldn't know any even without you distorting them. I guess you think all your visitors are pathatic lowlifes with nothing better to do than read people. I only got this in because after hitting refresh about 100 times I found Jack.I won't be back for a long time.
posted by Jack | Monday 23rd of April 2007 2:25 pm


posted by | Monday 23rd of April 2007 3:11 pm

The doorknobs are poor quality
posted by Jeff | Monday 23rd of April 2007 4:43 pm


posted by | Monday 23rd of April 2007 6:42 pm

Heat-detector installed right next to the main entry light.
posted by em | Monday 23rd of April 2007 6:54 pm

my 2-car garage is just BARELY wide enough for 2 normal cars. Each car has a series of nicely clustered dings from the door of the other (mostly child generated). I would never in a million years have thought to check this. (And yes, I DO know how to park, thanks.)
posted by joe | Monday 23rd of April 2007 7:01 pm

it isn't what's wrong w/ my house...it's what's around it. Unfortunately, you'd have to camp out in the nieghbourhood to find these out: - proximity to hospital or fire hall - outdoor yappy dogs - how long to get home, leave home in rush hr traffic
posted by tim | Monday 23rd of April 2007 7:27 pm

We were caught off guard with a 'crappy' toilet. We flushed when doing the walk-through and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Now, we must almost always double flush to 'make everything disappear'. The toilet is pink and from the 60's. I'm sure it uses more water than Niagra Falls. Also, our patio door doesn't close/lock properly. A brisk wind blows it wide open. My landlord doesn't believe us and demonstrated to us how to open and close a door with a door knob. I am not kidding. He even asked if I would like to try it...in case I didn't know how to twist my wrist to the right I suppose.
posted by Lauren | Monday 23rd of April 2007 8:09 pm


posted by | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 7:25 am

Intense Settling: Door frames shift from "won't shut" to "won't stay shut" within months.
posted by Monica | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 8:02 am

who the heck is stevencojocaru? The house is 80 years old, so every homeowner has rigged his own 'fix' to a problem. We have breakers that control one outlet in each room or all the ceiling lights in the bedrooms. No one breaker is accurately labeled because it's impossible to figure out! There's drywall or paneling over the lath and plaster in every room. The woodwork/trim is in danger of disappearing behind it. The ceilings are dropped with that metal suspension crap, so the bathroom ceiling is RUSTY. We installed shutoff valves under most sinks ourselves; until then we had to shut off the whole house's water to do any repairs. Even after replacing gaskets, the water pressure is spotty and most faucets drip. CARPET in the KITCHEN. Yuck. The basement bathroom is installed -below- the level of the sewer, so a plumber actually told us to run water through the tub after flushing, "to force everything out" so it wouldn't run right back into the tub. (That's one shutoff we installed. Nobody is allowed to use that bathroom!)
posted by Monica | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 8:34 am

The floors aren't level or maybe my legs aren't. But I prefer to think its the floor...
posted by Kevin | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 9:44 everything a powder blue, which we were eager to paint over once we took possesion. Upon arriving at our place, we discovered that when they moved out they scratched off large amounts of the paint from the doors and cupboards. On closer inspection we saw that they had not primed any of the surfaces properly and the paint could be scratched off with your fingernail. Sanding didn't work as it came off in flakes that left big enough ridges they could be seen after we painted it over, and nothing else worked either. (We tried LOTS of things) We ended up having to buy all new doors and cupboards!!!!!
posted by Jeremy | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 4:44 pm

Its a dump
posted by RGC | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 5:11 pm

The building seems to sag towards its center. The landlords painted before we saw the place, and it seems pretty obvious now that they just painted over the cracks in the walls, which have now reappeared in a big way.
posted by Alex & Kelli | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 5:50 pm

low ceilings + dangling ceiling fans = lots of banging
posted by mrss | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 7:41 pm


posted by | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 8:15 pm

Bruce Willis lives in my house. And he's really a ghost.
posted by dude | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 8:36 pm

Foundation isn't sealed so the ants get in. Windows need replacing so the basement and master bedroom hover at 12 degrees C in the winter no matter how high the heat is. Bathtub overflow drain floods the living room ceiling and leaks on the couch. Roof was shot so first rainstorm led to me getting a shower in bed, then half a drywall panel on top of me. Dodgy water heater that either does not heat water or makes it 80 C. Mold everywhere. I had to tie the back doors together for an entire winter because they kept being sucked open. Smoke detector emits random sparks when basement light is turned on. Luckily I only rent, but I'm starting to feel like a living example of the frog in boiling water metaphor.
posted by Amber | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 9:26 pm


posted by | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 10:01 pm

There was no secret cubby hole with a million dollars in it.
posted by olllllo | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 11:11 pm

its jus crappy all over
posted by brian | Tuesday 24th of April 2007 11:37 pm



bork
posted by bork | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 8:28 am

It has no mailbox and I can see into my neighbor's house while sitting on my deck. I just bought a house that only 1 other house on the whole street. YAY for privacy!!
posted by Melissa | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 9:31 am

Dear god, what isn't wrong with it?
posted by Stephen | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 10:23 am


posted by | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 11:43 am


posted by | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 12:44 pm

The office, bathroom, my bedroom and the upstairs hallway are all on the same breaker. No sharpening pencils and drying your hair at the same time in this house.
posted by Melissa | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 1:32 pm

Our dishwahser has a severe leaking problem
posted by DeChene | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 2:55 pm

the washer leaks like freaking crazy. it's relatively new, too. ps, these celebrity captchas are AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL like i know who these people are? even if they weren't so DAMN DISTORTED. i just got lucky with prince. at least, i think it's prince?
posted by lolo | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 2:56 pm


posted by | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 3:09 pm

Hate this stupid thing, makes me look at people I don't want to ever see in the white house again. (hillary clinton)
posted by Dave | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 3:10 pm

Our entire apartment runs on one incredibly antiquated fuse-and it blows at least once a month. I guess it is a good thing that the place turned out to only have 4 outlets.
posted by Lou | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 3:32 pm


posted by | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 4:07 pm

Washing machine, dryer, microwave, and refrigerator are all on the same circuit. You can run any two of them at one time. But don't try to use the microwave while you're doing laundry, because the fridge is always running.
posted by Brendan | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 4:08 pm


posted by | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 5:01 pm


posted by | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 6:40 pm

My parents live there.
posted by Sam | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 8:31 pm


posted by | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 10:27 pm

Dang, I've got to get out and meet more celebrities! Finally I recognize Mel the Jew basher! When we moved in to our new house...it was raining...water was running out of the rock fireplace face.... No foundation...walls settling & rock face cracking. Built on uncompacted fill. No trusses...roof settling. Roof unsupported centrally...just rafters on a stringer. Part had been on fire & not repaired, just covered up with sheetrock...rafters burned through...water damage to floor (rotten subfloor wood) from when the fire was put out. Floor unsupported. Linoleum coming loose...probably due to water application from fire. Fire damage to electrical outlets...didn't work. Carpet full of bbs (previous owner shot bb gun in house). Small water pressure tank, well pump runs often. Pump burned out. Wiring not to code...receptacles wired incorrectly. Wire nut splices hidden behind sheetrock. None of house built to code. Bathtub and sink drains leaked. Pack rat living in house (caught it in a homemade trap - bucket, wire, peanut butter). Poor insulation. Lots of trash in the attic, wood scraps, wire etc. Property fence not on property lines. Phone jack not wired in. Double pane windows leak and get frosted inside...can't be cleaned. Some doorways too low...hit your head going through if you don't pay attention. Trash everywhere. Previous owners were going to clean up but did not. Lol, that's not all but that's enough....
posted by Nelson | Wednesday 25th of April 2007 11:28 pm

Nowhere to hang the tea towels!
posted by Andrew | Thursday 26th of April 2007 1:38 am


posted by | Thursday 26th of April 2007 1:50 am

My house is big but it feels very crowded. Most of the rooms are very small, only room for a bed really. The walls are all this drab gray, sort of look like concrete, and the doors have big gaps and are very drafty. It's so noisy it feels like the neighbors are right on the other side of the walls! There's no garden either, just this big concrete area with no privacy at all, and these people keep walking past and watching me all the time. Also the lights keep switching off at 10pm! Unfortunately I'm on a 12-year lease, but at least the rent is cheap.
posted by Jailbird Joey | Thursday 26th of April 2007 2:51 am


posted by | Thursday 26th of April 2007 2:51 am


posted by | Thursday 26th of April 2007 2:51 am

Check for REALLY THICK WALLS!!! I can trace my upstairs neighbors steps as they move around their apartment above me. I can hear my next door neighbors having sex and I can smell the cigarette smoke permeating through the walls of another.
posted by Laura | Thursday 26th of April 2007 3:05 am


posted by | Thursday 26th of April 2007 7:02 am


posted by | Thursday 26th of April 2007 12:09 pm

Low showerhead. I hate showering bow-legged.
posted by | Thursday 26th of April 2007 3:50 pm

People sneak into my room at night and steal strands of my hair.
posted by AScott | Thursday 26th of April 2007 5:18 pm

It's a 200 sqft "studio" :`-(
posted by Test | Thursday 26th of April 2007 5:37 pm

Icky wallpaper! Not the best hot water for doing dishes!
posted by Diane | Thursday 26th of April 2007 8:05 pm

1. little sh.. for a neighbor 2. shower takes ages to deliver hot water (and when someone flushes the toilet it goes cold again) 3. squeaky floors 4. will need a new roof soon
posted by tom | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:04 am

The hot and cold water knobs in the shower are switched. The pipes are sweated so swithing back is no simple task.
posted by whizbo | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:50 am

Brand new windows were installed in my house right before I moved in, but I didn't know that in winter the back of the house would be the victim of howling winds that squealed constantly through a tiny crack in one of the window casings before we finally found it and plugged it up. That's not fair. Lots of people don't know celebrities.
posted by Gabbi | Friday 27th of April 2007 3:19 pm

Insufficient hot water for two morning showers; back bedroom window cannot be locked, and must be replaced; mice live in walls.
posted by John Buck | Friday 27th of April 2007 3:32 pm

test
posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:09 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:50 pm

Monkeys in the sink. Yeah, we knew when we bought the house that the garbage disposal was broken, but we never suspected why. Not until we removed it did we discover the truth. Hundreds of those little plastic cocktail monkeys spilled out of the disposal; Hundreds of mangled and maimed plastic monkeys, all falling out of our plumming. You know, we expected to find a lot of things wrong with this money pit of a house, but as low as our expectaions were, we never did see monkyes coming...
posted by Katie | Friday 27th of April 2007 7:01 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:49 pm

We rented a house where the previous tenants had decided to do their own plumbing repairs. We'd been in the house a couple of months when one night I ran the garbage disposal. A few seconds later the entire contents of the disposal were on my kitchen floor. Apparently the geniuses didn't know that if there weren't threads on the pipes you had to glue the pieces together.
posted by Stephanie | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:26 pm

I have no house.
posted by John | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:59 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 12:47 am


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:08 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:32 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 9:01 pm

can't fit a bed in the bedroom width-ways. length-ways you can't shut the door. great.
posted by kerry | Sunday 29th of April 2007 6:11 am

rats
posted by Joe | Sunday 29th of April 2007 1:17 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 1:47 pm

We've had problems with plumbing in general. Also, our landlord seems to have trouble installing doornobs as one of our doors doesn't lock and the rest are fairly loose. Easy to fix, though. Oh, and our heater is really loud, which took some getting used to. Just like you said, lots of little things. The stuff you don't pay attention to, mainly because its stuff you have to live there to notice.
posted by Aaron | Sunday 29th of April 2007 8:11 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 10:22 pm

The refrigerator talks to itself.
posted by Theresa | Sunday 29th of April 2007 11:32 pm

4 years ago, my boyfriend decided to "remodel" our only bathroom. He demo'ed the adjacent hall closet too. It's not finished. Instead of a bathroom wall, we have cardboard and a blanket. And no place to hang coats or hide the vacuum cleaner. I would like like to have a complete bathroom again....
posted by Nicole | Monday 30th of April 2007 1:49 am


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 2:32 am

I apparently live on a fault line in Texas. Most of the doors are becoming hard to close. We just had this house built 6 years ago.
posted by douchebag | Monday 30th of April 2007 10:49 am

My walls are bowed! I'm redoing both of my bathrooms come to find out that the walls around them are leaning or bowed in some way. I should have had a home inspection before I bought this dump!
posted by Nick | Monday 30th of April 2007 11:41 am

switch for lights in stairway is only on 1st floor. second floor bathroom window is nailed\sealed permanently closed.(contractor recommended new window)
posted by jon pounder | Monday 30th of April 2007 2:38 pm

All faucets including shower have a 1/4 inch area on the dial that provides warm water. Everything else is totally cold or scaldingly hot.
posted by Armen E | Monday 30th of April 2007 3:59 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 5:06 pm

Our shower will switch between streams of hot and cold water. One second, you're getting burned by the spray, and two seconds later, it's freezing cold. This can last from a few minutes to the length of the entire shower.
posted by S | Monday 30th of April 2007 5:19 pm

Two of my roomies are total b*tches, and they can't stand for there to be a book on the coffee table even (isn't that what a coffee table is FOR?!), so they are constantly placing my "messes" (aka one or two books) outside my door. However, somehow it's cool for one of them to have 2 TVs and a stereo in our living room, not in use but just sitting there. I'm considering placing them outside my door. They are super inconsiderate most of the time, are extraordinarily cheap (aka won't pay for any type of decorations so all we have is stuff of mine so our apartment looks really plain and shitty) and tried to set up a "chore chart" for me and my other roommate (who's really cool) to follow. Like we're 5. So annoying. Once one of them even slept on the couch when one of my friends was visiting (and she KNEW my friend was in town), which meant that either me or my friend had to sleep on the floor. And she did that TWO NIGHTS in a row. I couldn't believe it. The walls in the apartment are super thin and I can hear everything that my roommate does. Even though she's cool, this still sucks. Because sometimes she plays music really loud and really early on Saturdays, and it wakes me up. Also, one of them constantly questions me about every little thing, so I can't even hang out with my boyfriend without a full on quiz about my plans for the evening. She has an ignorant, annoying boyfriend who never wants to leave the country and has the stupidest tattoo I've ever seen. Even just hearing their voices pisses me off. My advice is, never room with people you don't know. I'm moving into an off-campus house next year with several friends and I am overjoyed. So the main problem with my house? My roommates live there. Whores.
posted by Maia | Monday 30th of April 2007 7:44 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 9:25 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 7:51 am


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 11:27 am

It's in New York and consequently is hideously overpriced.
posted by NYC Man | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 12:48 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 1:32 pm

Everything
posted by Rachel | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 2:18 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 4:24 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 4:26 pm

There is a chinaberry tree in the back yard. There is no season in the year free of sticky pellets that get squashed and stick to the bottom of your shoe until you get into the house, and then fall off and become one with the floor..
posted by Holly | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 4:27 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 6:47 pm

Buckthorn (invasive tree) makes it impossible to have anything other than plain grass because it will move in and take over.
posted by Minneapolis Dan | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 10:24 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 11:20 pm

the cieling is low
posted by hamid | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 9:47 am


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 9:47 am


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 1:20 pm

My curtains are haunted, or something... I put them up correctly, then a week later they're on backwards, and now they're up correctly again. o.o;;
posted by Llesnouh | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 4:21 pm

It's only 11 feet wide
posted by John | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 5:16 pm

It's full of assholes.
posted by PaperCut | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 7:13 pm


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 8:12 pm

-UGLY seashell pink bathroom. -Ghetto re-wiring job on a bedroom addition. -Not enough insulation in attic (upstairs is ~15 degrees hotter than the downstairs in summer). What's right: >$400 mortgage payment!
posted by Paul | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 1:07 am


posted by | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 8:13 am


posted by er | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 6:08 pm


posted by Naomi | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 7:18 pm

It's too hot inside :(
posted by Chrissy | Friday 04th of May 2007 4:29 am


posted by | Friday 04th of May 2007 2:22 pm

Check the water pressure in all the showers. How long does it take (during the times you normally commute) to drive to work along your expected route? How close is the nearest grocerystore/bodega/kwik-e-mart? See if the neighbors seem stable, or at least if they provide free wireless.
posted by Philip Flip Kromer | Friday 04th of May 2007 5:28 pm


posted by | Saturday 05th of May 2007 12:33 am


posted by | Saturday 05th of May 2007 12:57 am

after reading some of these problems, my little problems seem irrelevant but here's one: MOLES. It's fun to watch your lawn disappear but dangerous on the Fourth as you just about break your ankle trying to run from lit fireworks.
posted by larry y | Saturday 05th of May 2007 2:14 am

The previous owner killed her husband with a hammer in it.
posted by | Sunday 06th of May 2007 8:58 am

The sliding screen door doesn't close tightly. The bathtub was painted and is now peeling.
posted by Leann | Sunday 06th of May 2007 11:46 am

Be usre to ask what the electric bills are for the house before you buy. I have a home in which one corner leaks heat like a sieve owing to the size of the house's sliding-glass doors.
posted by Clay Compton | Sunday 06th of May 2007 12:36 pm

I was so excited the my flat had a laundry machine that I didn't listen carefully when the sublessor was describing it to me. 1-2 weeks after moving in, I realized there it had no cold water. Even worse, the hot water that did work, only came in at a slow trickle. And, the machine itself didn't go to spin mode, so you have to manually run it through a second rinse cycle before dumping it all in the dryer. I still think it beats hauling ass to the laundromat, though.
posted by hachoo | Sunday 06th of May 2007 6:00 pm

I live in an apartment, but I think this can count regardless: The apartment's above a bar. The landlord promised that he was going to insulate and put in double pained glass in the windows. He never did it. So it's noisy as hell. The apartment is heated via radiators and works on its own whim. Please understand that I live in Canada and this made last winter brutal at times. The shower has two settings for water pressure; dribble or not at all. The shower also has two settings for water temperature; tepid or ice cold (also not good in the winter). I can hear my neighbours having sex when I'm sitting on the toilet. They're quite loud and describe it. It's like porno on the radio sometimes. A dead body was discovered in the alley between my building and another. Oh and the floors are slanted. That can be fun though.... Hope this counts. Love the site. Cheers.
posted by Alan | Sunday 06th of May 2007 11:54 pm


posted by | Monday 07th of May 2007 12:52 am


posted by | Monday 07th of May 2007 6:52 pm

Damp Basement
posted by JB | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 1:56 pm

no closet space in the actual bedroom. There is plenty in the hallways, but it ends up being really hard to keep the room clean with no place to hide dirty clothes.
posted by Elizabeth | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 2:29 pm


posted by | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 3:38 pm

The previous owner/man who built it used plumber's putty instead of teflon tape for all the plumbing connections. We've spent the last two years working on clearing out the constant plugs in the line from the putty working itself loose and collecting in bends.
posted by Debra | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 7:24 pm


posted by | Wednesday 09th of May 2007 11:56 am

windows will not open in older house
posted by spot | Wednesday 09th of May 2007 2:25 pm

Everything in the full bathroom was PINK, including the sink, tub & toilet.
posted by Chris | Wednesday 09th of May 2007 6:33 pm

No matter how hard I scrub my bathroom/laundry floor it still looks dirty. There are also ants in the walls of my front sunroom and they leave huge piles of sand along the edges of the room.
posted by Miriam | Wednesday 09th of May 2007 8:18 pm


posted by | Thursday 10th of May 2007 11:23 am

It was lived in by Bill the Builder, who apparently enjoyed DIY home-improvement but did not own a level. NOTHING is straight; from doors to walls to back porch steps. It is not a terrible thing, but it is definitely quirky.
posted by Kerry Bateman | Thursday 10th of May 2007 11:42 am

Ants, ants, ANTS!
posted by Derek | Thursday 10th of May 2007 4:47 pm


posted by | Friday 11th of May 2007 1:31 am

We bought a house in the woods. A cool thing, but squirrels live in our attic. They made a huge nest from insulation. I can't get rid of them. They are driving me crazy.
posted by Ralph | Friday 11th of May 2007 1:53 pm


posted by | Friday 11th of May 2007 4:45 pm


posted by | Saturday 12th of May 2007 12:31 am

Our toilet runs sometimes unless you take off the top and wiggle the little chain thing. AND Our toilets are freaking miniature. You dont really noticed until you sit on them, so we didnt find out until we were already paying rent, but these things were made for midgets or something. And when you crap in them, even for medium sized craps, they wont even flush down all the crap, it takes a total of two flushes before all crap is eliminated. AND you have to hold the flusher handle down for like 5 seconds on all of our toilets. That is a long 5 seconds, let me tell you. I hate our toilets. So basically my advice is to take preliminary craps in all toilets before renting. The downstairs fan also makes a weird noise when we have it set to the maximum speed.
posted by Grant | Saturday 12th of May 2007 10:41 am

The cupboards don't have shelves most of the time, and if they do they don't have enough shelves. Also my bedroom carpet looks kinda like vomit.
posted by Devin | Saturday 12th of May 2007 7:37 pm

My bathrooms are from 3 decades ago
posted by Rob Evans | Sunday 13th of May 2007 6:53 pm

Outdoor plugs don't work, and there is a dearth of closets.
posted by Lisa | Sunday 13th of May 2007 8:58 pm


posted by | Monday 14th of May 2007 9:26 am

Power outlet in floor sometimes fills with water.
posted by Andy | Monday 14th of May 2007 4:15 pm


posted by | Monday 14th of May 2007 8:45 pm

stupid exterior design makes the outside of my window sound like i'm in a wind tunnel and/or tornado.
posted by mere | Tuesday 15th of May 2007 12:32 am

Thin walls and noisy neighbors.
posted by Amy | Tuesday 15th of May 2007 4:15 am

There are too many light switches that do things we still haven't figured out.
posted by Steve | Tuesday 15th of May 2007 3:42 pm

it has a terrible ant infestation during the summer months.
posted by kelli | Tuesday 15th of May 2007 4:41 pm

another thing. There is absolutely ZERO direct sunlight in the entire house. I can't have indoor plants and we have to turn on lights in the middle of the day. The house areas that get either sun-rise or sun-set light are so close to the fences on the property that we get precisely 15 minutes of direct sunlight- in either the GARAGE or the BATHROOM. The north side never gets sun unless you lay ON THE SIDEWALK, and the south side gets a sunbeating so bad the lawn turns brown by june.
posted by kelli | Tuesday 15th of May 2007 5:03 pm

Too small. Gappy Foundations and floors that let in bugs.
posted by Jeremy | Tuesday 15th of May 2007 5:31 pm

too gray
posted by max | Tuesday 15th of May 2007 8:47 pm

In all fairness, we bought a 57-year-old house from the estate of the original owner, and the last time the house had any sort of remodeling work done was when I was a toddler...in the 70s. Sooo... 1) Water pressure sucked. Spent $2,500 on copper repiping. 2) No A/C (in So Cal!), heaters were gas wall units from the 50s and would set off the smoke alarms when we dared to turn them on. Replaced with $7k HVAC system. 3) The kitchen was a tiny galley and the appliances were older than I was. Spent $30k on full remodel, including blowing out the wall between the living/dining room and the kitchen (and worth every penny). 4) No laundry hookups in house. Installed stack W/D in alcove. 5) Master bath from 1959 addition had cheap, barely useable storage space and a tiny corner shower with cracked glass sides and door that would not close properly. Almost done with $10k bath remodel. 6) In backyard, bamboo along one side of the yard was scary eyesore, from which I expected to emerge a platoon of Viet Cong at any time. Ripped out the bamboo, and spent 4 months killing off the last vestiges (I wanted to call in a napalm strike very badly). 7) 125 ft of rotting wood fence opposite bamboo jungle fell down after a light windstorm. Spent $8k on block wall. 8) House featured 30-year-old shag carpeting. We spent $4k uncovering and restoring gorgeous original oak flooring. 9) House also featured cottage-cheese ceilings throughout. Since we could not remove the cottage cheese using the old "water and scrape" method, we spent $3k covering the cottage cheese with 1/4 inch wall board.
posted by Trish | Wednesday 16th of May 2007 2:15 am


posted by | Wednesday 16th of May 2007 1:54 pm

This *does* suck!
posted by Elvis Presley | Wednesday 16th of May 2007 1:54 pm

Under the kitchen sink, it smells kind of like pee, but only when it rains.
posted by Drew Hayslett | Thursday 17th of May 2007 2:24 pm

We designed our own house and had it built by my father-in-law with our help, so all these problems are largely our fault: We should have had the the house face more southerly for more solar gain (we misjudged when staking out the foundation). We should have built the house closer to the front of the lot (3 acres, deep and narrow), rather than all the way at the back. We should have opted for a walk-out basement, rather than the 4-sided concrete "bathtub" we have now. The water (we have a drilled well), has way too much iron, and we had to buy a water softener, which was very difficult and expensive to install after the fact. The vent fan in one of the bathrooms failed after about a year. We forgot to put in a ceiling access-hatch to the attic crawlspace (required by code but overlooked by the building inspector). The one coat closet is located next to an entrance we hardly ever use. The lawn is patchy, rocky, and weedy, and the flower beds next to the house are a mess.
posted by James | Friday 18th of May 2007 11:58 am

there are squirrels in the ceiling
posted by heather | Friday 18th of May 2007 8:25 pm

Invincible wall crack
posted by Brandon | Friday 18th of May 2007 11:00 pm


posted by | Saturday 19th of May 2007 12:38 pm


posted by | Sunday 20th of May 2007 3:14 pm

in my home there is no underflooring... the expert engineer didn't see it... he blames the carpets. but everytime my 400 lb father in law comes over, i have grand visions of him falling into our cement basement... one can dream.
posted by jenzie b | Monday 21st of May 2007 2:01 am

Cheap Laminate "Wood" floors. If you get them too wet, the floor swells permanently. I'm sure we will lose a bunch of our deposit due to this.
posted by Sean | Monday 21st of May 2007 3:45 am


posted by | Monday 21st of May 2007 6:53 am


posted by | Tuesday 22nd of May 2007 5:28 pm


posted by | Tuesday 22nd of May 2007 8:15 pm

Our dryer vent is a pipe that runs from the bathroom/laundry room, underneath the dining room, and out onto the patio. Thing is, when it goes under the dining room, it actually dips downward, and when it comes out onto the patio, it's level with the ground. Hence, when we moved in, we quickly realized it was full of dirt or rocks or maybe even a dead rodent. We tried not using the vent and ended up with a bathroom covered in moisture, leaving drip marks on the walls and making us sure we were doing permanent damage. We had to call in a couple of guys with a humongo vacuum and a stick with a brush on it to clear it out. I'm sure we'll have to do this fairly often in the future. I guess the short version is "Crappy dryer vent".
posted by Jennie | Wednesday 23rd of May 2007 2:34 am

The electrical outlets are all upside-down.
posted by | Wednesday 23rd of May 2007 1:55 pm

squeaky floors, leaky roof, needs tuckpointing, chipping plaster, lead paint, countertops too low, basement floods, no garage,
posted by cappy | Wednesday 23rd of May 2007 1:58 pm


posted by | Wednesday 23rd of May 2007 5:04 pm

For gods' sake. Mel Gibson looks like he's made of melted crayons. What's wrong with my house is the bath tub. First of all the hot water heater is too small to fill the tub, so my bath gets to be about 4" deep before the tepid water begins. Then, the tub is so small that my knees are up around my chin and leaning back is out of the question because of the weird angle. It looks perfectly normal from the doorway, but I wish I had asked for a test-drive, being a bath person.
posted by Catherine | Wednesday 23rd of May 2007 5:07 pm

tree roots growing above the surface of the lawn, bringing extra hassle to the job of mowing the grass.
posted by Scott | Wednesday 23rd of May 2007 8:46 pm

In the summer, the doors swell and will no longer close.
posted by Mike | Friday 25th of May 2007 8:05 am


posted by | Friday 25th of May 2007 11:16 am

Toaster + microwave = blown fuse
posted by Robert | Friday 25th of May 2007 4:24 pm


posted by | Friday 25th of May 2007 6:21 pm

Red floors and red trimming on the windows. Other apartments in my building have also red closet doors and radiators so I guess I should be thankful I don't. Plus a corner of my living room/dining room/office is cracked so I cabn feel the wind. It's nice when it's -30 C outside:)
posted by Johanna | Monday 28th of May 2007 9:36 am


posted by | Monday 28th of May 2007 9:38 am

Tiny kitchen no storage horrible parking
posted by Leah | Monday 28th of May 2007 10:33 am

Leaky toilet we thought was just a bad seal (fixable) turned out to be cracked water tank = have to replace the entire toilet.
posted by MissyMango | Monday 28th of May 2007 6:27 pm

The basement and attic stairwells smell like marijuana when it's humid. I have been in the house for 3 years and no marijuana has been consumed in it during that time.
posted by Steve | Tuesday 29th of May 2007 11:05 am


posted by | Tuesday 29th of May 2007 3:03 pm

60 year old house, 60 year old electric room heaters. Garden hose faucet - in hallway! Access hole to attic 1'x1', can only pop head up through. Previous owner covered walls with Masonite. Previous owner's pets ruined areas of oak hardwood floors. Previous owner poured concrete patio that slants towards the house, so water runs in the door when it rains. Previous owner painted oak trim pink. Previous owner was a jackass.
posted by Martha Stewart | Wednesday 30th of May 2007 12:22 pm


posted by | Wednesday 30th of May 2007 6:01 pm


posted by | Wednesday 30th of May 2007 6:23 pm

Slugs in the kitchen ... blech!
posted by bob | Thursday 31st of May 2007 1:32 am


posted by | Thursday 31st of May 2007 9:03 am

It Spontaneously Combusted -I had to look at the source code for this page to see that the stupid celebrity was Oprah!!! Good job, Cockerdick
posted by Jackoff | Thursday 31st of May 2007 12:43 pm

It's an igloo!!!
posted by Shmuck | Thursday 31st of May 2007 12:46 pm

No roof!!
posted by Cocknham | Thursday 31st of May 2007 12:47 pm

Termites live in it
posted by Gotcha | Thursday 31st of May 2007 12:47 pm

It is in a good neighborhood. I like the sound of gunshots during the night.
posted by Prickly Dickly | Thursday 31st of May 2007 1:29 pm


posted by | Thursday 31st of May 2007 6:55 pm

Where to begin? starting in garage: foundation cracked,covered insulation w/OSB (bowed out now) insulation in ceiling falling down onto powered garage door that has no power, bent rails, doesn't stay up when manually lifted up, no power to garage (suspended wire forced removal by the city), came w/ snowblower that has no traction and dies halfway through the job.behind garage was a place for dirty fill (fixed), giant bald cyprus (evidently the only evergreen that loses it's needles in the winter), fence in back yard great for ppl to throw trash over from sidewalk(corner lot), fence posts located in the middle of sectional pre-made fence posts (panels attached w/ perforated angle iron) A/C had a clog (fixed),holly tree in front yard(kills feet, just got one jabbed into my foot IN MY BEDROOM) front brick walkway up to house was put over a concrete slap w/ playsand, white rocks as a flowerbed covering, yard was a jungle, row-hedge around the front of the house great for walkers-by to throw trash over, one side of house too shaded to grow grass. Porch: windows added in the 80's, don't shut. Living room: fireplace empty and blocked off, ceiling fan/light not on switch while porch light/fan and yard light are on switch, grounded outlets a hit or miss situation, horrible layout. Dining room: converted from a wonderful baby blue w/ stencils (saw old pics)to a drap rool w/ baneling coming off and a shitty crown molding job done w/ door trim, ceiling fan squeaky and fixture too small for normal sized bulbs and too dark. Kitchen: range knobs too damn picky, pilots go out, stove placed OVER the only vent in the room, kitchen remodeled from a decent layout to shit, mystery-stench from under the sink, counter is normal height and placed infront of the window (gap between counter and panes of glass), top glass has leak in double-pane, hood vent BLEW UP a bulb, wire ran behind wall and spliced in w/ wire nuts. Bedrooms: c,losets too narrow for normal hangers, some windows painted shot, some so loose that they rattle in the wind, previous owners knew nothing of painters tape or laying plastic on the HARDWOOD floors. Master bedroom: actually 3 rooms consisting of a powder room, the main bedroom, and a half bath w/ enough spare room for a stand up shower, MB made from 2 bedrooms, there is a 2" difference in floor heights w/ a slanted portion in the middle of the room, trim is shit and doorjam to bathroom w/ no door is a painted bare 2x4, carpet in powderroom smells of cats. Bathroom recently remodeled by myself riped out 1/2" drywall and wood lath completely. what was wrong: shitty laminate floor, primary light was a heat lamp w/ the exhaust fan in the same fixture as the light, mirror opened to wrong side, 1/2" drywall protruded into the bathtub area, while laying in the tub, your head would sit in the uncovered HVAC vent. thats about half, i'm sure there is more to be uncovered in the near future.is this the longest real one yet? i don't know but it should be, wish me luck!
posted by Tyler | Thursday 31st of May 2007 9:23 pm


posted by | Friday 01st of June 2007 2:34 pm


posted by | Saturday 02nd of June 2007 2:53 pm

sloping floors, very seuss-esque
posted by max | Tuesday 05th of June 2007 9:59 pm

Lol, 5 CAPTCHAs were impossible until i finally found one My house becomes an island when it rains, poor drainage, working on fixing that now
posted by Cash | Wednesday 06th of June 2007 11:28 am


posted by | Wednesday 06th of June 2007 1:23 pm

The walls all have asbestos in them, which means we can't fix up any shelves or anything. That wasn't mentioned by the landlord until after we'd signed the agreement! It means I've had to rig up an elaborate system of battens fixed to the wooden bits (door frames etc) and then fix things to the battens in turn.
posted by Dan | Wednesday 06th of June 2007 2:05 pm


posted by | Thursday 07th of June 2007 6:20 pm

my house is infested with pill bugs (roly polys). they are approaching battalion strength despite me killing them daily
posted by slim | Thursday 07th of June 2007 10:26 pm


posted by | Friday 08th of June 2007 11:59 am


posted by | Saturday 09th of June 2007 4:47 am


posted by | Saturday 09th of June 2007 4:47 am

bedbugs
posted by bridge | Saturday 09th of June 2007 11:37 am


posted by | Sunday 10th of June 2007 4:53 pm

garage is too small for our extra long mini van
posted by Mac | Monday 11th of June 2007 12:41 pm

Spiders! lots and lots of them, i wonder how many i eat per year
posted by | Wednesday 13th of June 2007 10:18 pm

Not enough electrical outlets- like, one per room. Huge problem in older places.
posted by Jessimine | Thursday 14th of June 2007 8:15 pm


posted by | Saturday 16th of June 2007 9:57 pm

Poisonous spiders in the basement. Also, my house was seized in a drug raid so all of the doors had holes punched or kicked in them.
posted by Robin | Sunday 17th of June 2007 6:02 pm


posted by | Monday 18th of June 2007 7:17 pm

sink IN the "master" bedroom, with a small cubby for toilet and shower?!?
posted by michelle | Wednesday 20th of June 2007 12:13 am

I could go on for ages about this topic. The house is too small, the floors and walls are unbalanced, the rooms are too small, the water pressure is too low, the windows are mostly too small, no windows on the east side of the house, the carpets need replaced, the walls need to be redone, the plumbing needs replaced, the bathroom especially needs replaced, the basement needs to be finished, etc...
posted by | Tuesday 26th of June 2007 3:33 am

Freezer is only large enough to accomodate a bag of peas and a Haagen Dazs tub on its side.
posted by Sam | Thursday 28th of June 2007 9:37 am

The kitchen cabinets won't stay shut; it takes a whole Saturday to remove or install a window screen, and whenever anybody does a #2 in the bathroom you get a biiiig whiff of it in the kitchen.
posted by Katie | Thursday 28th of June 2007 8:45 pm

Celebrity thing sucks
posted by rick | Saturday 30th of June 2007 5:26 am


posted by | Saturday 30th of June 2007 8:24 am

Not actually a house, but a townhouse-style apartment. Everything looked fine before I signed the lease, but it was early spring, and I hadn't thought to turn on the air conditioning. A few days later, as the heat increased, I turned on the air conditioning, which worked fine. However, the kitchen floor covering had been poorly glued down, and with the air blowing, it actually rose up wherever there was too little glue.
posted by David Willsey | Saturday 30th of June 2007 8:24 am

The kitchen cabinets in my old apartment are gutted. I never thought to look in the bottom cabinets that line the kitchen before moving in, but once I did I realized that there is NO GROUND! it's just small wood planks here and there and, if I wanted to, I could reach in there and fool with the air conditioning ducts and pipes that go to the apartment below mine.
posted by Chris | Sunday 01st of July 2007 3:32 pm

Master bedroom is poorly insulated and BAKES on a summer afternoon!
posted by | Sunday 08th of July 2007 8:59 pm

Bedroom door doesn't latch, living room phone jack is in a useless spot (fixed), bathroom has no propper closet, so mops, bucket, vacuum, what-have-you all just sit there chilling, no good place to store linnens, kitchen is a strange layout (was meant to have cabinets but they were omited to make a dinette area), stupid plastic windows make putting in large Air Cons a challenge. The entire place is preternaturally warm at all times. Unsure of the cause. Baseboard heaters complicate furniture placement (who thought these were a good idea? Steam heat is 100% better). Attic hatch is just a board, no steps or ladder or even a hinge, so getting into the attic recquires a step ladder, and a large one at that. Vinyl floor is ugly blue/white pattern (and is torn badly from chairs being slid), bathroom has numerous problems as it was a handicapped bathroom by design -do not touch a house with one of these! Toilet is too high and needs two flushes for a good shit, the sink is loose from the vanity, there is no tub, just a large shower stall nearly level with the floor, but it has no doors! Doors will need to be custom ordered because it is 2" beyond standard size; until then water gets all over the floor unless you are careful with the curtain (upside is you can shower with a friend easily!) Had to remove unsightly, industrial grab-bars that made you feel like you were pooping in Sears & Roebucks.
posted by Red October | Monday 09th of July 2007 12:10 am


posted by | Monday 09th of July 2007 4:09 pm

The bathroom was carpeted, and the shower stall leaked around the door. Ofer the years, water had rotted out the carpet and the tack strip.
posted by Brand Hilton | Monday 09th of July 2007 11:53 pm

Foundation problems. Previous owner had spackled cracks and painted just before we got there.
posted by Brand Hilton | Monday 09th of July 2007 11:56 pm

Swimming pool leaked like crazy... ~100 gallons a day.
posted by Brand Hilton | Monday 09th of July 2007 11:57 pm

5 sewer line breaks under the concrete slab foundation.
posted by Brand Hilton | Monday 09th of July 2007 11:57 pm

Storm windows don't have removable panes... impossible to clean panes in the gap between windows.
posted by Brand Hilton | Monday 09th of July 2007 11:59 pm

DIY wiring job... one switch controlled both the ceiling fan in the living room and the light fixture in the breakfast nook.
posted by Brand Hilton | Tuesday 10th of July 2007 12:01 am

No A/C vents in the bathrooms.
posted by Brand Hilton | Tuesday 10th of July 2007 12:02 am

The thermostat is in the hall outside a bathroom on the West end of the house. That bathroom has no A/C vent.
posted by Brand Hilton | Tuesday 10th of July 2007 12:04 am

Built-in bookshelves had actually been pulled out and moved to a different room. Not re-installed properly. Collapsed after we loaded it with books.
posted by Brand Hilton | Tuesday 10th of July 2007 12:06 am

no plug in the bathroom
posted by j | Wednesday 11th of July 2007 3:47 am


posted by | Wednesday 11th of July 2007 11:14 pm

The tub, sink and toilet are all a curious shade of tan that my sister has dubbed Caucasian Flesh, as in "Should I use the bathroom upstairs?" "No, Billy's in there, use the Caucasian Flesh." | Thursday 19th of July 2007 8:24 pm

Some idiot painted over all the fancy woodwork and fireplace
posted by Coco | Friday 20th of July 2007 2:13 am


posted by | Friday 20th of July 2007 2:13 am

Creeky floors. Pipes that back up.
posted by Alan V. | Sunday 22nd of July 2007 2:40 pm

Hall bathroom fan incorrectly wired in attic
posted by Lacie | Friday 27th of July 2007 5:36 pm

In the summer, the doors swell and don't close in thier frames unless slammed shut.
posted by | Sunday 19th of August 2007 12:42 am

Previous tenant broke into multiple houses in the area, stole from them, and went so far as to stab one person.
posted by | Monday 08th of October 2007 1:09 am

My bathroom in my previous house was tiled slightly diagonally. It didn't make the room any less functional, but for some reason, it was really annoying.
posted by | Monday 05th of November 2007 10:00 am

Builder left several small sockets (like the ones you attach to a ratchet) under the carpet, and it's painful everytime we step on one. We've fished out a few so far, and I'm hoping to find the rest of the 1/4" drive metric set that somebody stuck under the carpet pad.
posted by Bryan Carrillo | Tuesday 06th of November 2007 9:05 am

Captcha is a bunch of garbage, and does not display the image. WTF its a piece of crap.
posted by Loozer | Sunday 11th of November 2007 6:02 pm


posted by | Sunday 13th of April 2008 9:17 pm

All drains are slow and when they have almost emptied a load sound of dripping may be heard with no evidence of a leak or water damage any where in the house. I just leave with it now since I would have to tear out the walls to replace the pipes or find any evidence of leaks. I hope to see your list in the near future. Thank you.
posted by | Wednesday 23rd of April 2008 1:50 am

Some of the cable TV outlets in my new house did not give a good signal, others did. The cable tech was able to tell me which outlets were good by using a signal meter on each one, and I had to plug both my TV and PC modem into the one that was good. Also the only phone jack in my house is in the kitchen. To this day I have long coaxial cables and telephone wires running along the baseboards through my kitchen and living room due to malfunctioning or lack of proximate outlets for cable and phone.

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