Burning oneself on ones highly expensive but excellently hot hair straighteners. Stupid things just live for jumping out and burning a big red lin into your neck. but alas they are good and they'd only make us wear neck braces to use 'em.
posted by Rachel | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:50 am

The superbowl prank leds !
posted by cyclops | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:04 am

I love this captcha! I was driving to school, my senior year of high school. As the cars piled up for everyone to make a left turn into the school, I was rear-ended (not super hard, but enough to get a head throw-back) by an always-made-fun-of substitute teacher. I didn't check on the rear bumper until after I parked, and I could see a bit of discoloration on the black plastic bumper...as weeks went on, the discolaration increased. Still, I felt kind of bad for the guy, so I never mentioned it. Weeks later, he showed up to substitute-teach my class, and I brought up the incident jokingly to him. He completely denied it, but in a total guilty manner. I said "Hey, don't worry, I'm not going to do anything about it" and he got all huffy, still denying it. That really pissed me off, that because he assumed I was going to get litigious on his as, he woudln't even acknowledge it. 10 years later, he was arrested for molesting a 12-year old girl, so in hindsight I'm glad I kept my distance.
posted by Jorge Barnes | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:36 am

By the way, your garbage can is freaking nasty!
posted by Jorge Barnes | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:38 am

Rob, I come here to see what you say, not some dumbass that didn't sue about his sick parakeet. Get some real content up or nothing at all, not the same old stuff.
posted by What?! | Friday 27th of April 2007 7:15 am

My Radiologist punctured my kidney during a procedure. The attorney said that the cost of the expert witnesses would eat up anything I may win. Bastards.
posted by John | Friday 27th of April 2007 7:42 am

- Slipping on water (melted ice) and cutting my head on a wall next to a hotel ice machine. Stitches! - Slipping on a small set of stairs at a bar where a waitress had spilled beer. One week later? Friction tape had been installed!
posted by No one of consequence | Friday 27th of April 2007 7:56 am

Captcha obsession.
posted by Lex | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:07 am

I know I've seen a good amount of this before if not all, why are you recycling old crap and asking us to be the content of your site? Be creative, DO SOMETHING.
posted by Michaelangelo | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:08 am

I got bit, hard, by a rat at Petco and didn't sue.
posted by Jordan | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:10 am

Your Captcha's are getting better!!! I didn't sue this one website for dciscriminary activity by the use of Celeberty Captcha's to allow access to only the hip youth.
posted by Bubba | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:16 am


posted by henk | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:28 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:31 am

My dad is marginally into exercising at home, and he got himself one of those elastic band things with handles to work your chest muscles. Well, the crappyass plastic the handles are made out of (it was Atlas brand) SNAPPED, and thankfully hit him in the back instead of the face, but it tore out a huge chunk of skin and left a divot that is still there 5 years later. We took pictures of everything and documented everything to get ready to sue the company, at least for just medical bills, but my dad didn't even go to the doctor, and we're not the suing types, so it never happened. But holy crap, it removed a chunk of skin. You could SEE it on the crappy plastic handle. Jesus.
posted by Jen | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:32 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:35 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:41 am

Buy \/1agra cheap at \/1agra4u.c0m
posted by Refrigerator Magnet CAPTCHA SPAMBOT 2000 | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:41 am

Your mom giving me crabs. Bitch.
posted by Bob | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:42 am

Custody.
posted by Steve | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:47 am

my neighbor being a retard
posted by Dustin | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:51 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:51 am

Humanozoid
posted by Terrance aka T-Ball | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:56 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:29 am

I bought a package of the supermarket-brand frozen spinach. Two bites in I chomped on a freeze-dried fly. I threw out the rest and felt a bit nauseated for an hour, then just let the whole thing go.
posted by Erik | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:29 am

I did not sue the bathtub company for making there tubs slipery when wet. I just I had when I crashed my head against the handle bar as I lost foothold, though.
posted by Fred Rondeau | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:30 am

It Work3d !
posted by Uber \/i4gr4 SpamBot 4000 | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:32 am

The various things I have found in restaurant food: a large thumbnail clipping; a metal pot scrubber shred; a brass staple from a produce box; a gigantic moth; a 2 foot long hair woven through a piece of fried fish; the microbe that gave me shellfish poisoning; the doodie meat that made me shit and puke at the same time...
posted by scaffnet | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:39 am

When this one guy put this really really gross picture of his eye bruise on his website and didn't warn me before I looked at it, I didn't sue him.
posted by Pat | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:46 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:55 am

Fridge Captchas
posted by T-Smooth | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:59 am

When I was walking to school one day when I was five years old, some old guy in a minivan drove really close to me and ran over my foot. Then he put the car into reverse and did it again. Then he got out of the car with a 2x4 and beat me in the face. It hurt, but I'm cool now.
posted by sdhfgsdjf | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:04 am

piece of plastic stuck baked into a packaged cookie.
posted by jules | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:08 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:15 am

Theft of virginity
posted by Ed | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:25 am

Random note: I come to the site to see what cool, interesting things that YOU do Rob. I could care less about reading a thousand comments that other random people make. If I wanted to do that, I'd go to a message board. I, like others I'd safely assume, don't mind if there's a gap between updates. Why not find out how much is inside "Sierra trail mix" like you did with the mixed nuts... something other than "hey everyone, comment on this random thought" that's so prevailent nowadays.
posted by Gettin' tired of it | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:34 am

I did not sue when my glass Snapple bottle (cherry cola flavor?) literally EXPLODED on me about 15 years ago. I had stopped in the hall at school to tie my shoe or something, and as I held the Snapple in my hand, it exploded, sending shards of glass everywhere. Maybe ten seconds earlier, I had contemplated trying to hold the end of the bottle in my mouth, but had fortunately decided it would be too heavy and stopped to put it down. As it was, I ended up with a minor scratch on my knee, which a sullen and uninterested school nurse bandaged before sending me on my way. I should have sued, or at least complained in some major way, but I was only about 10 so I didn't know.
posted by Becci | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:40 am

The anti-climax to zug.com's super-bowl prank.
posted by arvil | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:42 am


posted by jt | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:45 am

Nice captcha. Every letter makes a sound.... P says "p". I should have sued Taco Bell for not giving me my change from a $20 at the drive-thru one night, and then also sued myself for not realizing and driving away. That was 6 years ago and I haven't eaten at Taco Bell since. Take that, corporate greed!
posted by Paul | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:55 am


posted by Christine | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:01 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:08 am

I didn't sue Playboy fo giving me tennis elbow.
posted by Thomas | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:12 am

I didn't sue Wal-Mart for battery acid burns in the automotive department. One of their employees stacked the batteries on their side and one leaked on my hands when I tried to pick it up. They weren't even nice about me using "their" bathroom for employees only (it was the closest place for which to wash my hands).
posted by Thomas | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:15 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:18 am

A piece of glass in my Starbucks muffin! I settled for a $35 gift certificate.
posted by Becky | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:22 am

Lowes sold me a bad piece of 8-3 wire. One of the hot legs had a gap, and the free end was wrapped around the bare surface ground (Dead short to ground!). Of course there was no way to know this as it was all hidden by the outside insulation. Fire shot out of the breaker when I energized it. Fortunately the main breaker didn't fry. They replaced the wire, but cost of wire was small compared to the time to run the wire and make the connections, not to mention the cost of new pants and underwear.
posted by JMH | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:25 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:26 am

I did not sue the lady who plowed into me using her Lexus, ruining the back of my newish car.
posted by Eric Brazen Cycleworks | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:36 am

Geez Rob, are you sure you're not cursed? Because it's perfectly normal to go through life without ramming anything into your eye.
posted by Ashley | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:39 am

how lame this site has been lately
posted by duane | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:45 am


posted by Fweego | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:51 am

The bitch didn't come through. For $40 I shoulda got off.
posted by Ace | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:54 am


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:58 am

Being born
posted by Weirdo | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:01 pm

I was at a Girl Scout camp in middle school when I fell off of a platform and sprained my ankle so bad that it totally tore the ligaments. This was the first day of camp. The nurse refused to admit that it was bad enough to need treatment, even though the swelling was compressing nerves in my foot and my toes were going numb. I had to hike 40 miles with a fully loaded backpack because the nurse wouldn't take me seriously. Ten years later, I paid $2000 out of pocket for the surgery to repair the ligament damage, was on crutches for 8 weeks, and in physical therapy for another 8 weeks after that.
posted by Kristin | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:05 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:06 pm

I worked for a great submarine sandwich shop in Madison, WI. I was doing the dishes one early morning and someone had taken off the protective rubber stops on the stainless-steel dish cart. I went to push it in and sliced my thumb to the bone. I didn't sue them because I had dreams of upper management. Now, in hindsight, I really should have sued.
posted by James | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:13 pm

First of all - fridge magnet captchas - cute AND understandable! Good choice. I didn't sue my dad when he hit me with the car (true story)! Although I'm pretty sure that if I had sued, he would have just garnished my allowance until he'd reclaimed the money.
posted by Rachel | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:22 pm

OK - LOVE the magnets! This is the originality and style of the cockeyed site, while still protecting digital integrity and providing customer service. As for sueing, I used to ride a sweet little moped, and someone who was not watching where they were going swiped me from behind. Their insurance gave me the max of her coverage, and my lawyer said we could sue for more, but everything I needed was technically paid off, and I just did not feel up to the long drawn out process, so I let it be. However, as far as your lamp was concerned, if you would have written to the company they might have refunded or upgraded your lamp. Sometime when you take the time to actually complain in a constructive manner I find that the companies will send all kinds of free stuff your way becuase you gave them a chance to improve or recall the product before potential future lawsuits. Remember, in the end, they want to keep you as a customer so they can get more of your money, especially when you are talking things like lamps. Cars and Nuclear Reactors kinda harder to negotiate about after the fact...
posted by Jeff | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:27 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:37 pm

being bored silly by your stories in order to get to the fun and exciting captchas
posted by j | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:43 pm

I was told by my boss that he would never promote me because I was "Just gonna get married, crank out babies and quit." When I complained to corporate they fired me because he was the owner's son. I had worked there for 4 years and had never had a less than stellar performance review.
posted by Trish | Friday 27th of April 2007 12:50 pm

Pantyhose!

posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 1:12 pm

I did not sue when I fell through the bleachers at a baseball game, landed on my face, and got my lower teeth stuck right through my lower lip. That's probably because I was six, should'nt have been using the bleachers as monkey-bars, and did'nt know what a lawyer was. And that's why I have a beard.
posted by Joe | Friday 27th of April 2007 1:18 pm

When my third child was scheduled to come into the world by induced delivery, everything was going as scheduled until he defiantly decided to camp out in the birth canal. Until this point the room was so crowded that I actually felt like maybe I was in the way. Everyone seemed to be so busy. My wife was positioned in the stirrups of a specialized delivery bed, the foot end fourth or so of which removed to allow the doctor to make an easy catch. Everytime she would push, the nurse monitoring the baby's heart rate would remark 'that's not good'. After about four big, non-productive pushes, the head man in charge said 'we gotta go', meaning to the ER for an emergency C-section, because our baby was literally smothering to death. In the blink of an eye, the room emptied out, as everyone ran to do something else. This left me, my wife, and the doctor as the only people in the room. Unfortunately, none of us got the briefing on putting the bed back together so that it could be moved. By the time the doctor figured out how to put it together at least a minute passed and the doctor was clearly flustered. Fortunately our son was just fine, but either as a result of trying to make up for lost time or because of his shakiness, the doctor nicked my wife's bladder. As a result she had to endure reconstructive surgery and a lot of unnecessary pain. I don't think the doctor was at fault, but I definitely had a problem with the rest of the staffs' actions.
posted by Jeff | Friday 27th of April 2007 1:25 pm

The problems with the lamp are actually mitigated by the lamp itself. Did noone ever inform you that stumbling around in the pitch dark, you can run into things that hurt you? Christ, just TURN ON THE LIGHT and you'll be fine! Annnyway - I didn't sue the auto body repair shop, even though they took 2 months to fix what they said would take a week, didn't finish the job, and never called me back even though they promised to fix the things they failed to fix. They were unfailingly polite and nice on the phone, yet totally failed to do the job right or in reasonable time or for reasonable price, and never ever ever returned calls even though they always promised to.
posted by Leperflesh | Friday 27th of April 2007 1:26 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 1:38 pm

Captchas
posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:05 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:07 pm

A hole buncha things. OK, setz see... Breyers for that tiny round bit of metal I found in their Oreo ice cream. I wuz gonna contact them (not sue) about it, but I figured it came from my then-malfunctioning ice cream scooper, so I dropped the matter. Speaking of IC scoopers, I musta gone thru 8 IC scoopers over the past year. Y arnt thay built strong enuff to allow me to use all the muscle I've got? Cant I have a workout before I eat my IC? Back in Summer '99, I flipped my bike tail-over-head several feet into the air off of a lump of dirt, and landed on my left shoulder, causing the joint between the clavicle and the scapula to split (OUCH!), causing that end of the clavicle to stand 1/8" higher, & it stil does 2 this day, and it hasn't caused me any probs. I had an X-ray pic taken of the situation, w/ and w/o a 25lb weight in hand, and, according 2 the x-rays, no diff between the 2. I made it a point not to sue the owner of the land that contained said lump o' dirt. OK Rob, your fridge captcha iz the best so far. Please don't make us guess fridge makes and models (which is what I thought this wuz gonna be, before I saw the captcha). That would be cold hell. I recently got myself a Cavalry 500GB external HDD from Buy.com. Rob, Y don't you do a How Much Is Inside a HDD? Just don't tell us how much porn will fit, please. Porn iz pukingly disgusting! All the best frum Splatman. Givvit a Splat!
posted by Splatman | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:10 pm

Motor vehicle collision: my vehicle was struck from the rear and I suffered "whiplash". 3 weeks of chiropractor care and all was well.
posted by jim | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:12 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:13 pm

Like you, my eye was also bruised. One morning, upon waking to my alarm clock, I walked across the room and bent over to turn the buzzer off. Once bent over, I impaled my right eyeball on a metal music stand. I was rushed to the ShopKo Optical Center and 'treated' by an eye doctor who had, all too obviously, had a five-martini/five-lines-of-coke lunch. Hilarity ensued.
posted by KatiRose | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:21 pm

My COCK being HUGE
posted by Fuck Tractor | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:25 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:30 pm

new content ftw lmao o rly ya rly
posted by dis fails lolz!! | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:33 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:35 pm

There was this one time when I went to Applebee's and ordered some mozzerella sticks. When the basket of 6 came, one of them was mysteriously...empty. There was a breaded husk in the shape of a mozzerella stick, but upon investigation it proved to contain no cheese whatsoever. It wasn't leaked out into the basket or anything...it was baffling. Instead of a mozerella stick, I got an air stick. I should have sued for emotional damages...but instead I ate the anomaly.
posted by Jamie | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:36 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:38 pm

Being forced to pay rent in New Orleans even though my apartment was not accessible for months, and was cordoned off by armed National Guardsmen.
posted by Kate | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:39 pm

About a month before our third daughter was born, we were told by the obstetrician that she needed to go to the hospital to have a sonagram done with a machine of the lastest and best technology. We went there due to the baby's size. The "expert" that ran the sonagram stated our baby would be about 12 lbs WOW!!! Our other daughters came in at around 8 lbs. The doctor insisted on my wife having a cersarian. Our daughter came in to this world at a whopping 6 lb 14 oz very healthy. By the time you have a few kids you get used to the function of the hospital and the behavior of the doctors, so I thought it was unusual that the doctors, (yes there were 2 there due to the expected overly large baby and health issues that might arrise in being born HUGE ) hung around for about 2 hours after the birth. They were waiting for me to be away from my wife to inquire about our feelings toward the mistaken cesarian at wich point I put them at ease by telling them "We gathered all of the information and used our best judgement". Several months later I ran into one of the doctors at a casual gathering and asked him if that was one of the reasons he and the other doctor had waited around so long after the birth and he stated, "it was". I indicated that I was not a letigous person. Sorry this is so long, but you asked Rob.
posted by Brown Growler | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:40 pm

YOU for wasting so much of my time trying to figure out the stupid celebrity captchas...:)
posted by jen | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:49 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:55 pm

I did NOT sue cockeyed for the horrible Captcha idea. (scroll up...am I the first one to post that?) Also, I did not sue the underage, uninsured driver who totaled my car. I should have, but she was crazy (and is now in prison for arson)....didn't want to mess with HER!
posted by Amanda | Friday 27th of April 2007 2:58 pm

I suffered severe emotional trauma due to seeing a picture of a bruised eyeball on a website twice in two years. I did not sue.
posted by Steve | Friday 27th of April 2007 3:01 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 3:02 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 3:25 pm

I was eating McDonald's and there was a fly cooked INTO my burger. I could've sued for some major money, but I was really hungry so instead I got my entire meal free and got a bunch of coupons to come back. Which was a stupid decision, cause I could be rolling in the dough right now if I didn't like McDonald's
posted by Jonathan | Friday 27th of April 2007 3:31 pm

posted by Donkey ass shit hole | Friday 27th of April 2007 3:53 pm

I was once riding in the car with my sister when she inadvertently rear-ended someone at 20-30mph. The car we were in was a 2000 Ford Focus and when the airbags deployed, they shattered our windshield, causing me to inhale glass. To this day I have NO IDEA why we didn't try to get anything more than a free replacement windshield out of this.
posted by wobot | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:02 pm

The gatorade that had fungus growing in it. The fungus that was not discovered until I had finished nearly half the bottle. Also did not sue my pediatrician (when I should have) for neglecting to closely monitor or even be concerned about a condition that not only resulted in infertility problems as an adult, but nearly killed me as a teenager. The $$ for adoption would be really helpful right about now. Lesson learned- ALWAYS push for a second opinion if you are really worried about something.
posted by Jennifer | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:15 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:21 pm

The fridge CAPTCHA is okay, but stop?! These articles are getting kind of annoying. Content is awesome, though!
posted by j2 | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:24 pm

strobe light broke and shocked the hell out of me.
posted by clw | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:25 pm

Bus driver closed the door on my arm as I was stepping on. I had to hop alongside until other passengers managed to alert the bus driver to my predicament.
posted by Ryan | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:37 pm

My cat scratched my face. bad.
posted by Aylon | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:38 pm

Heh. I guess you got the idea for this one because people threatened to sue you for those celebrity CAPTCHAs? - RG>
posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:43 pm

Yay! Finally a CAPTCHA that isn't stupid. That is all.
posted by Yay! | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:49 pm

a driver for running me off the road on my bike
posted by tim | Friday 27th of April 2007 4:51 pm

I bit into a chicken quesadilla at a Mexican restaurant in Boston and a bone cut the roof of my mouth. It got infected and for four weeks I kept developing a pus-filled blister on the roof of my mouth, popping it, and then waiting for it to develop again. Not only did I not sue -- I even finished the rest of the quesadilla.
posted by JPLemme | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:25 pm

I once ate a granola bar that had some pointy pieces of hard plastic in it. The company sent me about $10 worth of coupons. (I didn't get hurt, but it was really disconcerting.)
posted by JPLemme | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:27 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:41 pm

test captcha
posted by testing captcha | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:49 pm

I bought a used copy of The Selfish Gene from some online store recently. It arrived well-packaged and undamaged (in fact, it ended up being new, not used). Unfortunately, hidden under the sticky flap was a vicious metal brad that ended up under my thumbnail! However, a stab wound to the thumb via packaging isn't worth much in damages. And I'm lazy.
posted by Amy | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:49 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 5:52 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 6:44 pm

Enlarge ur pen 1s up to 100 ft long with the ExtenderD1ck magic pills and pump program. And I then won't sue you.
posted by big d1ck | Friday 27th of April 2007 7:06 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 7:39 pm

I also had lamp troubles. It was a torchiere lamp that suddenly started crackling and sizzling and smoking. I turned it off right away and threw it out. If a fire had actually started, I would have sued.
posted by Me | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:20 pm

My car got hit by some dumb kid years ago and he was uninsured... I found out much later. He never paid up. I found him much later and I decided not to pursue it.
posted by Eric Renshaw | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:22 pm

One time I was deprived of an hour by a celebrity CAPTCHA.
posted by I just wanted to guess the CAPTCHA | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:34 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:47 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 8:52 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:19 pm

This captcha idea. The fast food and celebrity ones were just awful. This one isn't too bad, but still. Jeez.
posted by Beth | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:36 pm

The FOX network, for cancelling Firefly.
posted by Max | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:37 pm

Ahh, finally your captchas are better!
posted by complainer | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:40 pm

A girl totaled my truck because she ran off the road while looking for her cigarette lighter.
posted by Missing my truck | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:46 pm

br>
Myspace, it ruined my life!!!
posted by anonymousuomynona | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:56 pm

I didn't sue Altoids, despite their lack of labeling their tins with the phrase "Do not cut up with kitchen shears while not wearing eye protection" because I actually got a shard of metal in my eye that I was fortunate to get out. I had to cut up a perfectly good pack of gum, and plastic pakage inorder to protect my eyes. I didnt sue them because the judge would most likely say that it was my fault for not reading the fine print of my kitchen shears which states "Wear eye protection when dismantling Altoids containers in order to make a gift for your girlfriend."
posted by Xan | Friday 27th of April 2007 9:58 pm

is probably the best image on the site (except the one with you and two other guys brushing your teeth and looking all happy) (and the one with you with like, thirty sticks of gum in your mouth)
posted by lawsuit05.jpg | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:09 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:26 pm

I find little rocks or sand in my food all the time and I hate it. When I chip my tooth, I'll sue.
posted by Liz | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:26 pm

Oh thank God you changed the captcha! i didn't sue when my brand new water heaters dropped it's bottom along with 40 gallons of water.
posted by Chrissy | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:27 pm

After a wonderful trip to Disneyworld, I managed to get a small piece of iron stuck in my cornea. It then proceeded to rust in my eye. I totally did not sue.
posted by Kyle Magocs | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:32 pm


posted by | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:45 pm

Being slapped by a substitute teacher.
posted by Mono | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:53 pm

My soccer team's assistant coach strangled me, Homer Simpson style, until I was about to pass out.
posted by Robert | Friday 27th of April 2007 10:57 pm

Workplace tested for asbestos...was found...didn't tell about either.
posted by Nelson | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:07 pm

im not so sure it was the lamp's fault...maybe you just need a nightlight so you'll quit hurting yourself on things in the dark dear!! just a thought
posted by erin | Friday 27th of April 2007 11:58 pm

the dentist that i had from the time that i was born until i was about 13 had nothing but good things to say about my teeth...no cavities...just perfectly healthy! well that dentist retired and i went to a new one and guess how many cavities that i had (some of which were too advanced to have developed in the short time between dentist visits)....14!!! fourteen cavities...all of which were filled in one sitting. not fun.
posted by me. | Saturday 28th of April 2007 12:20 am

I showed up to my appointment at the optometrist in a southern California Costco (the optometrists are independent from the rest of Costco) but it turned out that the owner was not in, and I was supposed to see her associate instead. In any case, the optometrist saw that I was in a wheelchair and said "You can transfer to the eye exam chair by yourself, right?" Well, the eye exam chair most likely had a release to flip the armrests back out of the way, but this optometrist had no idea how to use them, and she refused to move the chair so I cold park my wheelchair in the same spot because the exam chair was "specially calibrated" to the exact spot on the floor. After a few minutes of discussion, she told me that I was going to have to leave and find another eye doctor, maybe at another Costco in a nearby city. At least she didn't try to charge me - they might have had to drag me out at that point. After being pissed off for a few weeks, I ended up calling LensCrafters. On the phone (apparently appointments are made through a regional or national call center) the operator said that they had a technician that could assist me. But when I arrived, it was a completely different story. They freaked out and said that it was against company policy and were all freaked out about a potential lawsuit. In the end, the technician told me not to worry about it, and that he would help me transfer to the exam chair once the door was closed. He was a very nice and helpful technician, and he had a lot of experience assisting several disabled family members. It seems almost impossible to obtain a proper eye exam if one is confined (or severely limited) to a wheelchair. However, I was visiting a family member in Pennsylvania who is also disabled, and when we visited a Costco back there, the super nice optometrist said that it would be no problem to move the chair, that it's pretty straightforward to recalibrate the chair, and my family member was helped through the process with absolutely no difficulties at all. Weird how In semi-rural PA it's much easier for a disabled person to get an accurate eye exam than in urban southern CA. I was very close to suing the CA optometrist. At another southern CA Costco, a disposable mop "sample provider" offered to lay hands and cure me right in the middle of Costco. I ripped her a new one so badly that a crowd had started to gather in a semi-circle, just like a high school fight. It was crazy. I'm amazed that people continue to do this (I've been offered this "service" more than 5 times, 2 of which were total strangers) despite it being probably the most offensive thing anyone could do to me. Not to mention the time that another "healer" laid hands on my family member without even asking in a mall in PA. Security had to remove him from the mall after I got into a yelling match with him about assault and how you can't just walk up to someone and grab them without permission. (He just couldn't understand why it wasn't appropriate.) Sorry for the rant. Peace.
posted by Scott | Saturday 28th of April 2007 1:57 am


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 2:29 am

The desk my computer sits on. The keyboard stand broke and now there are metal bars that keep scraping my legs.
posted by Suteki | Saturday 28th of April 2007 2:44 am

Refrigerator Magnets
posted by Microwave | Saturday 28th of April 2007 3:11 am

Sexual harrasment and stalking.
posted by Ariamaki | Saturday 28th of April 2007 3:12 am


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 4:16 am

Masturbating in public. Oh... wait... that's what OTHER people didn't sue me for. Nevermind.
posted by beftman | Saturday 28th of April 2007 7:50 am

it was a hot and muggy day in the great state of Minnesota (yes, it does get hot and muggy here, its only cold in the winter time), iwas leaving work, and i got into my car which is blacker than a black steers tookus on a moonless prairie night. it just so happens that i had left a can of high fructose infused carbonated goodness (aka DR. Pepper)on the passenger seat. well, i have heard that exploding cans in sun baked cars was only an urban ledgend...alas it is not! about a mile down the road...POP! (no pun intended!) there was a sticky, but sweet geyser of liquid hot magma dr pepper spraying all ofer me and my dashboard. this nearly caused me to put my auto in the ditch. after gaining control again, i made it home. After telling this story to my wife, who BTW is in her final semester of law school, suggested that i file suit..."well...NO." i tell her, it was not Dr Pepper's fault that physics works...i guess that i can just consider this an accidental experement in temperature/pressure reactions in a closed boundry fluid system. i like it!
posted by myke | Saturday 28th of April 2007 7:53 am

A few years back a did NOT sue the arses off a UK cinema which: a) Was a brand new building b) Had a pointless flight of stairs from the foyer to the ticket booth and cinema screens causing me (a wheelchair user) to go around the houses -- the rear entrance -- to get in. c) Was a brand NEW building d) When I finally got there the managers were not keen on having my wheelchair INSIDE the auditorium for the film I wanted to see, thinking I might be a fire risk - fair enough, BUT... e) I didn't WANT to the see the film showing in the only auditorium with a wheelchair space, so I offered to enter the film I did want to see and leave my chair somewhere safe - BUT... f) They were not even prepared to let me sit in an ordinary chair and fold up the wheelchair out of harms (people tripping over) way - it might still spontaneously combust or something (hmm... there's one for Cockeyed Science Club!) g) Did I mention THIS WAS A BRAND NEW BUILDING??? The irony is that they had the foresight to install a lift from the car park to the foyer, but they didn't go that extra flight of steps more. The rear-entrance ramp suggests an afterthought that they might have people with mobility problems wanting to see a film, but didn't think they might want to USE their wheelchair while doing so, or that they might not want to see the particular film showing in the wheelchair accessible auditorium. Fortunately my story ends on a bitter-sweet note: a nice family behind us in the queue were witness to the manager's protestations and offered to take my wheelchair and store it in their car which was near-by (risking SPONTANEOUS WHEELCHAIR COMBUSTION!). This allowed me to watch the film safe in the knowledge that I wasn't going to be a fire risk. I chose NOT to make a stink or sue the cinema for being insufficiently accessible (not making enough effort or having a helpful managerial attitude). Instead I never visited that cinema again and told all my friends to avoid it. A few years later another cinema (a different company this time) was built (new building again) in another town - this one is all on one level, one of the ticket booths is lowered to my height, and EVERY SINGLE AUDITORIUM in the multiplex has space for wheelchairs. I love that cinema, they always get my custom. So that's the story of when I didn't sue. (PS. being a Brit, I much prefer refridgerator CAPTCHA's - no US pop-culture knowledge required).
posted by Louise | Saturday 28th of April 2007 7:54 am


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:09 am


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:30 am

A carton of drinks...there were about three in the carton which were completly fluidless! There were no holes either, just carbonation.
posted by Nancy | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:42 am


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 9:04 am

A Dixon Ticonderoga WITHOUT LEAD! It was hollow. WHAT IS THIS
posted by N | Saturday 28th of April 2007 9:10 am

When the doctor botched my son's circumcision. Oh well, at least I won't have to worry about those whiny little things called grandkids.
posted by Grrrrr | Saturday 28th of April 2007 9:28 am

nothing
posted by BB | Saturday 28th of April 2007 10:06 am

no
posted by no | Saturday 28th of April 2007 10:32 am


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 10:34 am


posted by NEW CONTENT | Saturday 28th of April 2007 11:50 am

????? no idea!
posted by michelle | Saturday 28th of April 2007 12:12 pm

When I was four, I fell on an escalator at Montgomery Ward in El Paso. The palm of my hand got all chewed up in the teeth. Mom could've financed college if she'd only been thinking litigiously.
posted by Tim | Saturday 28th of April 2007 12:14 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 1:16 pm

My bipolar (diagnosed) principal boss harrassing me, other staff and students while breaking laws left right and center. Also the Board of Ed., School Board and our lame a$$ Union for not having the balls to do something about the lunatic woman.
posted by Eilonwy Llyr | Saturday 28th of April 2007 1:24 pm

A dog bite that occurred in the mid-80's. What can I say? Back then, we didn't sue! Now? I'd OWN that dog and everything he was worth! BDDS
posted by Big Daddy DS | Saturday 28th of April 2007 1:47 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 2:10 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 2:55 pm


posted by Andy | Saturday 28th of April 2007 3:34 pm

kids in roller rinks that break the rules by throwing stuffed animals around on the floor, and the referee's that ignore them.
posted by chunch | Saturday 28th of April 2007 3:52 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 4:29 pm

I bit my tongue.
posted by Banderstick | Saturday 28th of April 2007 4:38 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 6:28 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 6:48 pm

I wish I had sued you for mental anguish in regards to Celebrity CAPTCHAs- which was just cruel (and usual)
posted by mea | Saturday 28th of April 2007 6:50 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 7:32 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:06 pm

As someone who will graduate Law School on May 19th, I can't condone anyone ever not suing. Shame on you. =D
posted by Granville Powers | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:20 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:39 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 8:39 pm

I was popping open a flip cap on a bottle of shampoo with my thumb while in the shower. It required more force than I would have ever thought, and as it popped open, my thumb slid to the side. The plastic edge was so sharp, I had a 3/4 in gash that bled like crazy. I needed 4 stitches, and it hurt like hell!
posted by jay | Saturday 28th of April 2007 9:08 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 9:29 pm

When a grad student I went to a dental school because it was affordable. A student dentist drilled the wrong tooth. A couple years later, after I left the area or I would have gone back, it developed a cavity beneath the filling and needed a root canal. (A friend who is a dentist said that drilling the wrong tooth could happen to an experienced dentist... more a mater of carelessness in checking the chart than inexperience. Apparently it showed onthe x-ray but not externally.)
posted by Mel | Saturday 28th of April 2007 9:51 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 10:21 pm


posted by | Saturday 28th of April 2007 10:33 pm

I once got gastroenteritis from eating KFC for dinner. That was BAD... Diarrhoea for 2 days + vomiting for 4 days every 30min and after you eat or drink anything = weight loss of 30kg in 4 days, admission to hospital, doctors telling you that one day later you'd be dead and 2 weeks recovery. I really should have sued, hey? But then again, I was only 11 at the time.
posted by Mim | Saturday 28th of April 2007 11:06 pm

Back pay due to me. 2 checks sent to the proper address were "lost". Took 6 months, was a nightmare.
posted by RogerTheShrubber | Saturday 28th of April 2007 11:17 pm

when my housemate moved out, she left me with all the bills, plus bills that she owed me for from the past two months. the kicker was, when i woke up the morning after she was gone, i found a note she left that said she didnt owe me because the bills had already been paid. (been paid by ME) the total only ended up as something around 300$ so i didnt bother pursuing her.
posted by Jill | Sunday 29th of April 2007 12:26 am

My 2nd wife for grossly misrepresenting her willingness to give head.
posted by gBayemporium | Sunday 29th of April 2007 1:17 am


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 2:38 am


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 6:09 am

I was once in a car struck by a drunk driver. I was the only person in the accident that needed hospitalization, and that was only overnight. I had a concussion and was definitely beat up from it, but insurance covered the bills. The driver's insurance company offered a small settlement, while suing had never even crossed my mind.
posted by Mark | Sunday 29th of April 2007 6:31 am

Inadequate eye protection from improvised "safety goggles". (Not really, but put a disclaimer on there, Rob!)
posted by SouseMouse | Sunday 29th of April 2007 6:42 am

I didn't sue when the place I worked told me that it was no longer stocking yellow zingers in the vending machine.
posted by Cory | Sunday 29th of April 2007 9:23 am


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 11:07 am


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 11:26 am


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 11:54 am


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 12:20 pm

At a local Outback Steakhouse, I ordered shrimp and smelled bleach. Thinking nothing of it, I enjoyed my food, only to realize later that they had bleached the shrimp to cover up the smell, and I got sick as a result. I could have sued!
posted by Nate | Sunday 29th of April 2007 12:28 pm

I really ought to sue Sonic some time. Their website falsely claims that "No matter where you're heading, there's a SONIC on the way", but a search on their restaurant locator indicates that there isn't one within 150 miles of my house. Sonic, going 150 miles out of my way isn't "on the way" to anything.
posted by Brandon | Sunday 29th of April 2007 12:51 pm

I should sue McDonald's. I was waiting to transfer planes in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Airport and just got a regular cheeseburger (I didn't want to fill up in case I got sick on the plane) and when I unwrapped it later on the plane, I was shocked to see that there was no hamburger patty inside! So I just ate the remaning buns and cheese and never really said anything about it.
posted by Brandon | Sunday 29th of April 2007 12:56 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 1:01 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 1:06 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 1:15 pm

I was at starbucks and they ran out of the little cardboard holders, and just wrapped a napkin around my incredibly hot latte. One minute holding it I realized my skin was burning. My hands were tender for a week, and as a musician that sucked badly. But, I'd hate to be "that guy that sued for hot coffee", so I just complained to a manager and got a week's free coffee! Which, ironically, is more than I would have gotten after lawyer fees anyway.
posted by Dave | Sunday 29th of April 2007 1:21 pm

I was eating some peanut butter. This peanut butter came in a plastic container. I was using a butter knife to retrieve the peanut butter. If you have been reading closely, you'll notice that I haven't mentioned any glassware in this post. Somehow, as I was chewing, i bit down on a piece of glass. I didn't get any lacerations, but I was sort of curious as to how glass could get into the peanut butter that was contained in a plastic jar. I think there may have been a lawsuit there, but I'm am not quite as litigious as some.
posted by Keegan | Sunday 29th of April 2007 1:58 pm

My wife hit her nose (really hard) on a piece of plywood sticking out the the end of a truck.
posted by Zintradi | Sunday 29th of April 2007 2:02 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 2:36 pm

My education
posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 2:47 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 3:54 pm

these annoying CAPTCHAs
posted by Mike | Sunday 29th of April 2007 4:00 pm

in my old appartment, if you were stiring a pot and turned on the oven fan with damp hands you'd get a 1-2 second shock. dang oven/landlord. i blame them both.
posted by bridge | Sunday 29th of April 2007 5:06 pm

Getting run over by a stoner bicyclist ex-con on his way to the beer store while I was crossing the street very safely (or so I thought) it put me out of work for a month, I actually had to get a new job because of it. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v616/paullywog/Image037.jpg
posted by Paul | Sunday 29th of April 2007 5:33 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 5:40 pm

Failure of person to die
posted by Death | Sunday 29th of April 2007 5:44 pm

That people keep trying to cancel my show.
posted by Veronica Mars | Sunday 29th of April 2007 5:45 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 5:52 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 6:10 pm

Myself for being so awesome.
| Sunday 29th of April 2007 6:30 pm

My kid broke her ankle in two places on a moon bounce. Those things are awful fun until ten kids come down at once and your kid comes down a half second later. Then it's like hitting cement. May I recommend to all parents that you keep your kids out of it if you wish to stay out of the emergency room.
posted by Rachel | Sunday 29th of April 2007 6:55 pm

I did not sue society for giving me the flu. I should have =P
posted by Mike | Sunday 29th of April 2007 7:04 pm

Breaking my ankle after a parachute jump. Love the Fridge Captcha, btw - by far the best one yet.
posted by Adam | Sunday 29th of April 2007 7:07 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 7:47 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 8:26 pm

some idiot drunk driving kid hit my (parked) car when i was at work at a video rental store. he had just rented a video, so i was able to track him down (he had driven away). i agreed not to file a police report, because i was young and didn't really know any better. of course, i never got any insurance (or non-insurance) money out of the kid, and i never pressed charges. oh, well.
posted by mary | Sunday 29th of April 2007 8:44 pm

asdaf
posted by asdf | Sunday 29th of April 2007 9:03 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 9:11 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 9:39 pm

Did I get in?
posted by yo | Sunday 29th of April 2007 9:42 pm


posted by | Sunday 29th of April 2007 9:54 pm

A broken leg
posted by Jeremy | Sunday 29th of April 2007 10:15 pm

Sizzler restaurant for food poisoning after I foolishy ate red snapper at their buffet.
posted by Breckenridge | Sunday 29th of April 2007 10:32 pm

Weezer's album "Make Believe"
posted by Robert | Sunday 29th of April 2007 10:34 pm

Here in Atlanta, around Christmas time, the World of Coke used to have an ice skating rink set up every year. I don't think they do it any more. Any way, I was skating one year and fell over and someone ice skated over my finger, cutting me. Turns out it was a Coke employee. They gave me free coke and brownies, and free passes to come back and skate again. I needed eight stitches. But, hey, it was Christmas time. Not the season for suing.
posted by Dustin | Sunday 29th of April 2007 10:47 pm

Gravity - it made me break my foot
posted by DeChene | Sunday 29th of April 2007 11:09 pm

While eating some Lipton Noodles and Sauce (I believe it was Parmesean flavor with the green and white noodles), I crunched down on something hard and immediately tasted blood. Turned out to be a piece of tube shaped glass made it into the noodles. I got over it.
posted by Bleeding Gums Murphy | Monday 30th of April 2007 12:08 am

Norplant. grrrrrr...
posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 4:10 am

Why do you persist with these dumb captcha things? They only piss people off. I bet you get more responses about the captcha thing than you do about the subject
posted by Tom | Monday 30th of April 2007 4:36 am

silyh
posted by silyh | Monday 30th of April 2007 5:26 am

My favorite blog stopped making its own content (the dude used to build and destroy cool stuff and pull nifty pranks on people) in favour of collecting material from the readers. Although I am legally trained I have refrained thus far from launching a class action suit on behalf of all class members who have lost valuable time (and time really is money dontcha know) writing entries to fill the blog. Yes, entries such as this one. want to opt into a class? please do so by posting an entry to that effect here on cockeyed.com! Let's make Rob get back to his roots and once again sacrifice HIS time to entertain us, not the other way around. Your humble attorney, Unberto, Esq.
posted by Umberto | Monday 30th of April 2007 7:30 am

Slipping on a wet floor where there was no wet floor sign posted.
posted by Chris | Monday 30th of April 2007 7:38 am

your lack of creativeness on your website
posted by Dustin | Monday 30th of April 2007 8:31 am


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 8:31 am

I sued for... nothing. No, really, not a thing. I'm Canadian, suing someone falls pretty low on the list of things to do here.
posted by Andrew | Monday 30th of April 2007 8:49 am


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 9:08 am

I was in a car crash once that I could have sued the other driver for, but I figured since he didn't have a license or insurance, I probably wouldn't get very much.
posted by Brian Taylor | Monday 30th of April 2007 9:31 am

A couple of weeks ago a cat tried to attack my dog... go figure. My wife picked up the dog and the cat bit my wife as it tried to climb her. We verified the cat had its shot but the vet said that cats have incredibly filthy mouths (worse than sailors) and recommended she should be put on an antibiotic. My wife being the germaphobe she is compounded by the fact that she is pregnant went to the ER to have it cleaned out. Everyone in the waiting room and several of the nurses said we should sue the cat owner. Yeah the situation sucked but stuff happens and if our dog would have been on the attacking end we would hope for some understanding from the attackee. What cracked me up was that the hospital staff was encouraging her to sue. I guess the ambulance chasers of yesterday just have scouts in the ER these days. I would love to see their faces if someone uttered the word malpractice... would they be so encouraging.
posted by Stymie | Monday 30th of April 2007 9:41 am


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 9:45 am

When that sasquatch assaulted me with a burrito last 4th of July.
posted by Justin | Monday 30th of April 2007 9:58 am

There was a jelly-like substance inside a can of Hi-C once when I was a kid. I didn't tell anyone about it but just threw out the can. I should have sued.
posted by Katie | Monday 30th of April 2007 9:59 am

CAPTCHAs
posted by spam-a-lot | Monday 30th of April 2007 10:13 am

When I was 13 I had an ingrown toenail operation... they decreased the width of my left big toe by cutting the left side of the nail all the way back to the bone. Well, they must not have cut far enough back, because I now have a separate piece of nail that basically grows verically between the skin and the rest of my toe... good news is that I won't ever have another ingrown toenail as it creates a barrier that my main toe grows against. Bad news is it looks weird and I have two nails to cut.
posted by Jeebers | Monday 30th of April 2007 10:48 am


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 11:08 am

I could have sued Doritos. I mean, this one chip was so pointed and firm, it cut my tongue. Common knowledge says not to put sharp things in your mouth, but this is food. The mouth is the only place it's supposed to go. The lesson, create a cheese condom to wrap around all Dorito points. Safety is no accident.
posted by Tim, Richmond | Monday 30th of April 2007 11:33 am


posted by Jim | Monday 30th of April 2007 11:56 am

Junior year high school varsity basketball game. First game of the season. I jumped for the rebound, got it, but upon landing the air bubble in my Nike shoes popped and it made me roll my ankle. It was severely sprained and I was out for almost the entire season because of defective shoes. My mother was too lazy to sue.
posted by Allan Duke | Monday 30th of April 2007 12:16 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 12:19 pm

Bitten Nails. Teeth are more hell bent on biting fingers than anthing else.
posted by Griffin | Monday 30th of April 2007 12:38 pm

My government defrauded me in an election by substituting a President of much lesser quality in place of the one that had been chosen by the people.
posted by Ranshiin | Monday 30th of April 2007 12:43 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 12:50 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 1:18 pm

Food poisoning from eggs at the Holiday Inn outside Syracuse, New York. Also, food poisoning from a Subway in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
posted by Jojo | Monday 30th of April 2007 1:23 pm

I have broken many bones and torn ligaments, muscles, you name it. When I was in 5th grade my right leg was run over by a 180 lb. guy on a bicycle. He broke both of the bones in my lower leg. I had to have them put back together one time right after it happened and then 2 more times when they healed wrong via surgery. When I was in my 20s I had horrible back pain and the doctor I chose to go see took a complete x-ray of my entire body and informed me that my horribly broken leg had healed shorter than the other one and that I needed to wear a lift in my shoe to compensate and that this would alleviate my lower back pain. At first my back felt better and after a few weeks I didn't even notice the lift. Then about 8 months later I was trying to get out of my car and my entire stomach muscles siezed (think six pack area). I fell to the ground, could not breathe and thought I was having a heart attack. Come to find out one leg was NOT shorter than the other and because I had worn the lift for a number of months I had to go through excruciating physical therapy for more than a year to correct what the lift (and the doctor) had caused. After a few months and many people recommending it I tried to find that doctor to sue him. Seems he retired to FL where I could not find him to sue him. I now wish I had pursued this with more vigor due to the pain and suffering I went through, not to mention the money I had to spend out of pocket for all the medical appts.
posted by Pam | Monday 30th of April 2007 1:39 pm

Pam, for complaining too much.
posted by hmmm? | Monday 30th of April 2007 2:38 pm

Nepotism
posted by Ed | Monday 30th of April 2007 2:51 pm

hot popcorn kernals
posted by Dr Populous Cornelious | Monday 30th of April 2007 3:11 pm

Yemen done me wrong.
posted by Patrick | Monday 30th of April 2007 3:13 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 3:18 pm

All the damage done to Germany during World War 2.
posted by Adolf Hitler | Monday 30th of April 2007 3:56 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 4:05 pm

Panera Bread - Once I ordered a turkey sandwich, and someone had forgotten to remove the deli paper from the slices of turkey, so I ate some of it. It was chewy and and not very delicious. Another time I got a bagel from a bag someone had brought to work and there was a metal shard embedded in the bottom of the bagel. I should have eaten it, gotten internal bleeding and narrowly escaped death. I'd be a wealthy man right now.
posted by Matt R | Monday 30th of April 2007 4:07 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 5:29 pm

finally a decent capatcha! nice work
posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 5:40 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 5:41 pm

I did not sue the lawyer client I had who decided not to make the final payment to me for services performed despite the fact that we did a great job for him. His actual quote: "Jimmy, you come after me for that final payment and I will sue the f*** out of you." What a dick.
posted by Jim | Monday 30th of April 2007 5:54 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 6:24 pm

i got shot once, but i was already fucking around, so i guess i deserved it. thanks a lot, MOM!
posted by clarence | Monday 30th of April 2007 6:28 pm

test
posted by test | Monday 30th of April 2007 6:33 pm

Much better...but you should have a "Reasons to hate Captcha" captcha.
posted by Holly | Monday 30th of April 2007 6:46 pm

New apartment, hooking up my stereo on the first day, went to plug in the TV to the stereo, and whhhhhoooommm, I get 120V across my body. Stupid landlord had no grounding for the entire apartment, so TV & stereo were at different potentials. This was not a minor "ha ha" shock, this was a "I woke up 5 minutes later, and the world was fuzzy for a few hours" kind of real-deal shock. I should have sued.
posted by Zappy | Monday 30th of April 2007 6:48 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 7:28 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 7:38 pm

I pissed my pants at Chuck E Cheese when I was at a birthday party. I tried to give Chuck E a hug, but he pointed at my piss pants and backed away. Then other kids started laughing at me. I was really humiliated and I think my parents could have sued
posted by McBobernacle | Monday 30th of April 2007 7:56 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 9:16 pm

I was visiting Australia and staying in a relatively cheap hotel. The soapdish in the shower had been broken, and the jagged ceramic shards still remained. The odd location of the showerhead and broken soapdish were such that it was easy to bump into it while trying to get my head under the showerhead, especially when my eyes were closed to keep out soap or shampoo. The first time I bumped into it I got a cut on my cheek. The second time I bumped into it it sliced through my forehead so badly I thought I might need stitches. I ended up attending an opera at the Sydney Opera house with fresh cuts on my face, dabbing at them with tissues from my pocket during the performance.
posted by X | Monday 30th of April 2007 10:11 pm


posted by | Monday 30th of April 2007 10:25 pm

I'm just not that type of person! But let me tell you, I was very happy that the bicylist I hit never sued me!
posted by meaghan | Monday 30th of April 2007 10:44 pm

Glass in my Coco pops! Yes, I'm serious
posted by Jenni Farmer | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 1:32 am

Nothing... I have not been put in that position... the only thing that I have been able to sue for, well... I sued the person for it!
posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 8:28 am

I purchased a broom to sweep my kitchen. While sweeping, if you grabbed the end of it, the end cap had a way of falling off. Under the cap there was a razor sharp edge on the end of the pole/rod. One day while sweeping the cap fell off, and rather then pick it up (again) I continued cleaning the floor. Sure enough tragedy struck! The exposed metal poked the underside of my right arm and I instantly had a cut in shape of a near perfect circle. For a moment I considered calling a lawyer. But then I considered the unity all of us broom owners could have after we all meet bond over our collection of circle scars. I still have the broom and I have never used some glue to properly secure the cap.
posted by Nate | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 8:29 am

miss diagnosed collapsed lung, which led to a one week hospital stay.
posted by nilepoc | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 8:52 am

lkj
posted by lkj | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 9:29 am


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 9:34 am


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 10:17 am

What happened to this site?! I used to check it regularly to be met with a whole range of amusing new content - Now I'm lucky if the site has even had one interesting thing added. I suppose I didn't sue for the mental anguish caused by the constant dissapointments from cockeyed.com.
posted by A bored, used-to-be regular visitor. | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 10:24 am


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 10:25 am

Off-duty police officer who drove straight through an inner right-turn-only lane and smacked into our car while we were turning right in the outer right-turn-or-straight-ahead lane. Rebecca and I had no broken bones, but we were young and stupid and let the guy's insurance off with just fixing our car. Advice to any who walk away from an accident "unhurt" -- no matter what, get a thorough exam including scans and at very least make the insurance company offer a settlement that triples your medical diagnosis/treatment costs after several months or a year -- pay attention to your state's insurance claim laws. And you can always sue. Assume that any aches or pains are due to cartiledge/back damage and will stay with you for life and will probably get worse. If your aches and pains from the accident get better, great, but they probably will just get worse with age.
posted by Tim | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 10:42 am

I once found one of those plastic taco opener thingies in a taco from Taco Bell. Didn't cause me any harm, but still.. it was kinda gross. A year later, the Taco Bell burned down. Karma, perhaps?
posted by Aza | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 11:35 am


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 11:50 am

When there was a razor blade inside of a tool box that I bought at Sears---I reached into the box and got cut pretty badly. We went back and told them about it and they were nice so we didn't push it any further. Who knows if it was their fault even, it could ave been an accident or the manufacture's fault.
posted by matt | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 11:55 am


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 11:55 am

CAPTCHAs in any form.
posted by Jose Alberto Luis Gonzales Reyes Montoya | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 11:56 am

I had a job that stopped paying me, and acted upset that I would even ask to be payed. I left but didn't sue. I should have, they cost me a lot of money in overdraft charges and bill late charges.
posted by Katie | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 12:08 pm

On July 4th one year when I was about 10 or so, my family and the neighbors family decided to play with some bottle rockets. As we shot the innocent little devices out of some pipe in the general direction of the opposing family, my mother was struck with one that went inside her jacket, exploded, and caught her jacket on fire. Yea, we didnt sue the firework company nor our neighbors... to this day, I dont see what stopped us...
posted by Cash Money | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 12:38 pm

You've killed me and are now desecrating my memory with truly lousy content. And yet I choose not to sue.
posted by The Ghost of Cockeyed.com | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 12:39 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 12:42 pm

Breach of promise.
posted by Blobby | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 12:47 pm

a rash from my bikini wax!
posted by ash | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 12:52 pm

I did not sue cockeyed.com for showing a bunch of lame survey/captcha garbage instead of the real content that I was used to seeing, after recommending the site to all of my friends. BUILD SOMETHING ROB!!
posted by dogmeat | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 1:03 pm

I wish I could sue God for the crappy hand he dealt me. When I figure out how to do that, I'll share it with you.
posted by special k | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 1:09 pm

My grandmother's small town doctors spent years trying to figure out what was wrong with her. In that time they never sent her to a specialist or to get an outside opinion. Just kept saying they had no idea what the problem was. Unfortuneately, she was the type that trusted this family doctor 100% and alwasy thought they would get it figured out. Big mistake. She ended up getting really sick and passed away a few years later. I am not saying that it wouldn't have happened anyway, but there was at least 2 years worth of her degrading health that might have had a fighting chance if they had just pulled their collective heads out of their collective asses and made her go to a specialist from the word go. RIP Grams.
posted by Tom | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 1:15 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 1:28 pm

My wife lives there.
posted by Bart | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 1:57 pm

America, for all these stupid lawsuits which are starting to happen in the UK, driving up insurance prices
posted by Lee | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 2:07 pm

Cockeyed for being racist! your captchas (other than the fridge one) rely on the user being american, this is excluding people from other countries, this blatant exclusion from participation screams racism to me.
posted by Lee again | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 2:14 pm

I did not sue Verizon Internet services even though they failed to provide me uninterrupted DSL service like they contracted they would do. After 2 months, over 60 hours on the telephone, 3 technicians coming out to my house, and even visiting the central office 4 times, they told me that they had once again deleted my account and the process would start over at square 1. Needless to say, I got Cox Cable and have not had a break in service since. Eventually I called them back and threatened to sue, at which time they gave me $150. On another note, Rob, your CAPTCHAS are stupid. Sincerely yours, Daniel Lunsford
posted by Daniel Lunsford | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 2:26 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 3:22 pm

I haven't sued anyone (yet) over those damned DVD packages. Why does it take longer to get a DVD out of the package than to watch the thing? Btw, I like the refrigerator magnet idea. So much better than the celebrity one. The only ones I knew, I couldn't spell correctly.
posted by Rich | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 4:37 pm

idiot football coaches
posted by AC | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 4:48 pm

A-hole employee at Lowe's(a home improvement center)tried to kick me after I complained about something. I could have been a multi-millionaire, now I just kick myself.
When I was crossing a street appropriately WITH the pedestrian lights, and a police car making a left turn (not with its lights on, not rushing to an emergency, just not paying attention) steered directly into my knee. He didn't even stop.
posted by GB | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 5:51 pm

This is so much better than Celebrity CAPTCHAs.
posted by Becky | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 5:56 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 6:45 pm


posted by Seconded!!! | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 6:49 pm

I got stabbed by a radio antenna just below my lip. The solid tip fell off and one day I bent over and the friggin end of the antenna stabbed me just below my lower lip. This was at least 10 years ago and I still have a circular scar under my lip. I should have sued.
posted by the great | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 6:51 pm

This website
posted by G$ | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 9:38 pm


posted by | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 10:07 pm

Sting - for being such a douchebag.
posted by Pete | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 10:35 pm

Once while walking alongside the meat case in my local supermarket I slipped on some spilled rotisserie chicken grease and went down like a ton of bricks. The manager saw this and he claimed I did it on purpose, until he slipped on the same grease. I should have just stayed down, but I popped up too quickly. I must have been around 10 years old at most.
posted by Jeremy | Tuesday 01st of May 2007 11:51 pm

Long hair inside a Boyer Mallo Cup. I threw it out and have not ate one since.
posted by Dusty | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 12:51 am

A badly botched lumbar puncture (a.k.a., a spinal tap). It was BAD. I really should have sued, but I was talked out of it by well-meaning friends who told me that the doctor was really only trying to help, that malpractice insurance is driving up the cost of health care, and that I shouldn't be part of the problem of our over-litigious society. But it SUCKED.
posted by Jim | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 1:06 am


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 4:27 am


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 4:27 am


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 9:32 am


posted by Mandy | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 11:22 am

Someone (this is a long story, but I'll make it short) !patented an idea that I had written a group project with him about. To make the story sweeter, I had come up with the idea as a nasty joke, because I was almost sure I was going to fail thw class, and he was leaving all the work for me. Jerk. But I got an A in the class regardless.
posted by M | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 11:50 am


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 11:56 am


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 12:27 pm

My truck was rear-ended like three times IN ONE WEEK! All of the accidents were really slow and didn't do any noticeable damage to my shite truck, so I just let it slide. But still. Stay off my tailgate you blind ass mofos. And are people still crying about the CAPTCHAs?
posted by Dan | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 12:47 pm


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 12:53 pm

The stupid CAPTCHAs that existed prior to these fridge ones...
posted by Wedge14 | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 12:54 pm


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 1:55 pm


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 2:05 pm


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 2:06 pm

My cat follow me everywhere with her high pitched miaow!
posted by Matteo | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 2:12 pm

the trunk of my car closed on my back about 3 years ago. they recalled all models 2 years ago to fix the problem, but I figure i'll be suffering with back pain for the rest of my life! should have sued!!
posted by chef | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 3:25 pm


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 4:15 pm


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 4:35 pm

I was touched by a priest as a child. He was later indicted, but I didn't feel like I was damaged in any way so I kept my mouth shut.
posted by Greg | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 6:02 pm

My friend crashing me into a tree when I was in high school. I was just happy my sunglasses didn't break! My non "suing type" parents raised a non "suing type" kid.
posted by Liz | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 6:53 pm

i pooped in a toilet and it exploded OMG
posted by poopman | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 8:55 pm


posted by | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 9:14 pm

You for your frustrating captchas.
posted by M | Wednesday 02nd of May 2007 10:58 pm

aged about 5, broke my arm, had it in a cast for couple of weeks, when the nurse started cutting it off she had set the high speed rotating saw blade to the wrong depth and proceeded to slice into my forearm. Much screaming ensued, she said to my mum 'its ok, he just doesnt like the noise'. Er, no, I dont like the pain and the line of MY blood thats beginning to appear in the plaster cast.. 28 years later, big scar on my arm to show the kids.. Cool, huh?
posted by Jon Mahone | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 2:17 am


posted by | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 5:43 am


posted by | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 8:14 am


posted by | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 8:49 am

I've almost been sued before.
posted by foop | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 11:49 am

This happen a few years back but I swimming at the local community pool one day. I was getting ready to leave and went into the locker rooms to get changed when it happened. Apparently the drain in the showers was clogged so a steady stream of water had been flowing over the small 6" divider wall from the shower area into the main locker room area. To add to this hazard someone thought it would be amusing to make the locker room floor out of bathroom tiles. Yes, smooth, slippery bath tiles. I take 3 steps into the locker room, slip, and face plant myself into the floor smashing out two of my front teeth. I stand up and look around a bit and notice the inch or so of water on the floor which now looks like Jaws just bit someone in half with the blood mixing in the water. To make matters worse the pool didn't even have a first aid kit. I ended up having to call my dentist at home to get him to do some emergency dentistry work done. I think the pool knew I would have sued them since the following year I was there and the locker room was completely re-done with indoor/outdoor carpet and the shower was lined with anti-slip rubber mats. I figure they could of at least given me a free pool membership to help offset the $10,000 dentistry bill but oh well.
posted by Josh | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 4:10 pm

crunchy peanut butter cut my gums
posted by Chippy | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 4:52 pm

I didn't sue when I got T-boned in my Malibu by an uninsured lady in a Suburban. Fortunately, I didn't ACTUALLY hit the gas pump I nearly spun into. I stopped a whole foot away from it, so no big deal, right? Also, I didn't sue even one of the people who used this space to complain about CAPTCHAs when I was actually here trying to read some good non-lawsuit stories. They were a clever idea, if not a little hard to guess. Here's to fine tuning!
posted by HM | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 5:38 pm

Longs Drugs: Checking out picture frames at the local Longs Drugs, I was stabbed by a glass shard that was sitting on the shelf. Though not a bad cut, it bled a lot. All I wanted was a bandaid, but all I got was a tissue. Sun Chips: Got to the bottom of a small bag of vending machine Sun Chips and noticed some black stuff along with the chip crumbs. Upon closer inspection there was a few teaspoonsfulls of dead ants in the bag. Blech. No injury, just grossed out.
posted by Lisa | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 6:33 pm


posted by | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 7:23 pm

A poorly installed gas line.
posted by Dan | Thursday 03rd of May 2007 7:57 pm


posted by | Friday 04th of May 2007 6:12 am


posted by | Friday 04th of May 2007 10:20 am


posted by | Friday 04th of May 2007 2:13 pm


posted by | Friday 04th of May 2007 2:16 pm


posted by | Friday 04th of May 2007 3:46 pm


posted by | Friday 04th of May 2007 5:01 pm

Bought a duplex for rental income. In order to close to deal, and to rent it out, you need insurance. My insurance agent gave me insurance for one day - the closing date - and then cancelled it the next day. No calls to me to explain. They wanted extra, different inspections after the fact - which they never mentioned they would need initally. If the building had not qualified for insurance, Duh- I would not have bought the damm thing! But insuring it for one single day allowed me to get on the hook on a loan for a quarter of a million dollars that I had to pay back monthly, even if I could not insure it or rent it without numerous other repairs. After the fact they told me I should have known that they would need more inspections even though I had other rental properties, insured by them, that didn't require additional inspections. Later, they tried to say they had never insured it at all, even though I had the paperwork. Um, Thanks, liars. I determined making the 7K in repairs was cheaper then living with the anger over a lawsuit over the next year, switched all 5 of my policies to another firm, and gave none too subtle feedback when a national customer service manager called to find out why I didn't review anything that year. The word "incompetent" was the most polite thing I called him. The agent is in Tomball Texas and sells Allstate. Avoid similiar treatment!
posted by Chris in Austin | Friday 04th of May 2007 5:11 pm

Well, the one time tried to come in my home to take my chrome. So I said "Yo, it's on. Take cover, son, or you're assed out!" "How do you like my chrome?" I added, as I watched the rookie pass out. I didn't have to blast him but I did any way -- the young punk had to pay. Basically, instead of suing I just killed a man. I guess that's something you can't understand: how I could just kill a man.
posted by Flip "B-Real" Kromer | Friday 04th of May 2007 5:21 pm


posted by | Friday 04th of May 2007 7:32 pm

I was shot more than 25 years ago when I was participating in a youth group trail ride. Fortunately, I survived, but I'm still carrying around the bullet today in my hip. If my parents were the litigious sort, we could have ended up owning the group who sponsored the trail ride, and possibly the stable that they used in Arizona.
posted by Grace | Saturday 05th of May 2007 12:54 am

My pocket knife was clearly too sharp...
posted by fred | Saturday 05th of May 2007 6:37 am


posted by | Saturday 05th of May 2007 9:00 am

Jeez guys, give Rob a break. You gotta know how time-consuming it is to have a kid and a job, not to mention answering emails and upkeep on a website. He's doing his best.
posted by Serena | Saturday 05th of May 2007 11:08 am

09-F9-11-02-9D-74-E3-5B-D8-41-56-C5-63-56-88-C0
posted by mpaa | Saturday 05th of May 2007 2:41 pm

Emotional cruelty, and separately, reckless endangerment, a.k.a. driving without ability.
posted by Ruth | Saturday 05th of May 2007 3:07 pm

Once I banged my toe running for the phone. It turned out it was a sales call from AT&T. My toe was broken. I did not sue.
posted by Steve | Saturday 05th of May 2007 11:04 pm

Last weekend, I was walking into the mall - across a concrete bridge from the parking structure. There was a seam across the bridge that had buckled a little bit. I tripped over it and FELL ON MY FACE. I didn't think anyone saw me, but when I left the mall, there were "watch your step" signs up where I had fallen. If I show up on youtube, I am sueing!!
posted by -c- | Sunday 06th of May 2007 12:16 am


posted by | Sunday 06th of May 2007 8:56 am


posted by | Sunday 06th of May 2007 8:56 am


posted by | Sunday 06th of May 2007 12:42 pm


posted by | Sunday 06th of May 2007 3:14 pm

I found shards of metal in a pickle jar.
posted by Ian | Sunday 06th of May 2007 5:09 pm


posted by | Sunday 06th of May 2007 8:00 pm

I didn't sue when this really cool guy who used to have a great site where he put of his pranks, science club experiments, and whatever else he thought was cool up for everyone to read stopped doing pranks and left the content of his site up the visitors to create started putting ads all over his site, even though he had promised not to earlier and was getting hosting from a friend at fatwallet.com. I'm glad I didn't sue, because I probably wouldn't have gotten any money, but it really is a shame.
posted by Thomas | Sunday 06th of May 2007 8:31 pm

I could of (and almost) sued my highschool when i fell and into a uncovered drainage ditch that was hiding under a puddle and broke my ankle.
posted by Kathy | Sunday 06th of May 2007 10:29 pm

I got pushed through a window once. Friend of mine did it, and I felt pretty bad that the window broke. They didn't end up suing us and we didn't end up suing them. Good times.
posted by Keane | Sunday 06th of May 2007 11:31 pm


posted by | Monday 07th of May 2007 12:40 am

twenty tiny elephants inside pringles can
posted by flickr bluefood | Monday 07th of May 2007 1:37 am

Cutting my hand on a couch in a common childrens area at Disney World. My 3 year old was watching the obligitory Disney show on the TV, I was sitting on a couch waiting for my wife to finish checking in. I placed my hand on the back of the couch, felt a snag, and when I pulled my hand away, it was covered with blood. It turned out to be a furniture tack that was exposed, and the wound was really only a small gash that bled profusely. I wrapped it with a tissue and went to the desk to let them know. I declined first aid, since that would require them to fill out all kinds of paperwork, and I'm basically a nice guy. An hour later, the entire couch was gone. I've always wondered what I could have gotten out of that if I had pushed the issue...
posted by Ed McCarron | Monday 07th of May 2007 10:07 am


posted by | Monday 07th of May 2007 5:18 pm

Every letter makes a sound and S says FFFF!
posted by donkey balls | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 9:37 am

For a doctor putting my mother into a coma by prescribing her too large of a dose of painkillers WHILE she was in the hospital
posted by LD | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 3:10 pm


posted by | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 3:47 pm

I did not sue the coyote that ran out in front of my car causing me to swerve and crash into a ditch...but i sure should have.
posted by Sarah | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 5:56 pm

High-school glass-bending lab, bending my glass tube into a spiral. Planted my unprotected fingers right on the loop I'd just bent and took a second to wonder what that smell and the sizzling meant before I saw my skin bubble. Teacher was basically like "whoa hey how about that" and walked off all nonchalantly, no band-aid or nothing o_O Took months for my fingerprints to return. Also was intensely sick recently due to an aged & undercooked Wendy's burger. Was pink in the middle. I let it go...I suffered for it.
posted by Arisu | Tuesday 08th of May 2007 10:51 pm

Burning myself at work.
posted by Tim | Wednesday 09th of May 2007 1:33 am


posted by | Wednesday 09th of May 2007 3:56 pm

This multi-color pen I just bought, the green is totally scratchy. It's very upsetting. I paid good money for this, damnit! Oh, and the fridge-magnets Captchas. Imagine, questioning my literateracy! The nerve. ;)
posted by Milton | Wednesday 09th of May 2007 9:09 pm

The fridge magnet Captchas. They are sending me coded messages to vote Republican. Not cool, Rob!
posted by (name withheld) | Wednesday 09th of May 2007 9:11 pm


posted by | Thursday 10th of May 2007 9:51 am

I slipped and fell on conditioner that wasn't cordoned off or anything in Stop and Shop when I was 11 but was too humiliated to stick around. I actually ended up breaking my tailbone, which still bothers me to this day. Bastards.
posted by | Thursday 10th of May 2007 1:21 pm


posted by | Thursday 10th of May 2007 6:02 pm

My chair, which recently had its armrest crack when I was sitting in the chair.
posted by Ben | Thursday 10th of May 2007 8:31 pm


posted by | Friday 11th of May 2007 1:04 am

i got bitten by a ferret recently at a petstore in tokyo. now i see why they're illegal. this petstore also contained the worlds saddest wallaby. sophia's in davis served me a blended drink with glass in it with no apology and no free replacement. i am mystified by the profusion of negative comments on this page. cockeyed is the best!
posted by heckasac | Friday 11th of May 2007 4:00 pm

Read the intro and add a no-lawsuit situation yourself.