For both Randy and Simon, I connected the wires that controlled their jaws to a thin cable, which I threaded through a hole in the table.

Under the table, I connected that cable to a wooden arm. By pushing down the two arms, I could control when their mouths were open! It worked really well, and I hoped it would give the costume that extra something that would "wow" the crowd. 

A table of judges needs singers, so I prepared a couple of microphones. 

These were made from a piece of PVC pipe, with a hunk of wadded newspaper taped to the end. I spray painted them black.

A trip to Fruitridge Thrift (formerly Sac's Thrift Avenue) was my next stop, in search of an outfit for Paula.

It was surprisingly difficult to find a flashy top or dress which was large enough to fit my frame. Disheartened, I decided to have gastric thoroughfare surgery.

This wider, longer digestive tract would provide the intestinal fortitude to wear makeup and a pink dress in public.

Night fell, and my excitement level grew steadily.

Stacy helped with my makeup.

Everything went well, except for the eyeliner. I really couldn't deal with eyeliner.

Stacy especially loved my new eyebrows. I looked ridiculous.

With the costume disassembled, and the car packed, I headed to the "Exotic Zone Ball" at Cal Expo in Sacramento.

Carpool lane!

The tickets to the ball were $30 each, and the costume contest offered prizes of $2,500, $1,000 and $500. With luck, I would come home a big winner.

I parked under a bright light in the parking lot, and re-assembled my monstrous costume.

My dress actually fit over the shoulder harness, so it was well hidden. It looked terrific!

Even before I got out of the parking lot, the costume got a lot of attention. 

Throughout the evening I was approached by dozens, if not hundreds of people asking for a photo. I loved it!

Next thing I knew, I was partying with Borat. I had about two hours before the contest was scheduled to start.

The devil's bride with a microphone.

The crowd near the port-a-potties.