The following story unfolded in my Inbox, and was quickly moved to my Deleted Items Folder.

I get lots of spam. Lots.

The image below, from a Gift Fox spam email made an impression on me because of the woman's body dress.

Her and that guy are having a nice time, virtually salsaing together, but I'm not sure they are actually in the same room as those handbags and that wallet. Oh well, whatever makes them happy.

Click Stop on your browser to stop the flashing graphics.

A while later, I received a few Giftfox emails with the image below.

They've chosen a bag together!
That is so nice, and look how well it will fit on her shoulder with that pre-suspended purse-strap!

How he manages to keep his eyes on that photoshopped-in purse, I'll never know! That dress is see-thru. I'd be telling her to pretend to hold the purse a little higher if I were him.

Is he only interested in the soon-to-be-pasted-in fashionable bag?
No, no, that can't be it. He has his arm around her. They are definitely an item!

A few days later, I got this spam email from EliteMate.

I knew it!

The first two spam mails made it look as though they were bf/gf, but they were just SHOPPING TOGETHER!

He probably finally met Mr. Right, and now she is hitting the singles scene at EliteMate by herself.

Good for her. She has that dress too, so you know she won't have any problem getting noticed.

A few days later, I got this email from

Now it looks like they have both forsaken their material things (except for the dress), given up their separate lives of sin, found Christ and true love!


Can this unsolicited commercial storybook opera have come to an end?
Only my spam filter knows for sure!



Sept. 3rd, 2004

Erik Boelter and Matt wrote to let me know that Alicia (that is the name I call her, I don't know her real name) has let her hair down and is single again, as revealed by this banner ad on the left for American 

Also, Lisa and Dawn spotted her other banner ad (on the right) on and

Thanks for the help!

I bet that guy in the blue shirt (Maurice) can't even stand to be on the internet anymore, her face is everywhere!


Also, Adolfo wrote with his observations:

The other day I read your story about "an unsolicited commercial love 
story" and noticed something that you might have missed. The slanted 
line that separates the see thru part of the dress (top) from the non 
see thru (bottom) is different between the pictures. In the first two 
pics the line goes from top to bottom from right to left, In the third 
picture, it goes from left to right. At first I thought that someone 
might have flipped the third picture, but then I concluded that in fact 
there are two women instead of one!!! Lets look at the facts. Woman #1, 
as I will name her for the purpose of the explanation, is accompanied by 
a man. They also appear together in picture number four. Therefore, we 
can infer that they met in a Christian dating site, and that they are 
happy doing all kinds of family oriented, non sinful acts. They are 
shopping for purses. The guy is obviously a good Christian because 
instead of complaining about going shopping he does it with a smile to 
make his date/wife happy. Woman #2 is seen only on the secular dating 
site ad where you have "no obligations but plenty of opportunities". 
Those kinds of relationships without obligations or responsibility are 
not compatible with the Christian way, and the term "opportunities" 
sounds like polygamy or promiscuity. Therefore, the woman in picture 
number 3 cannot be the same the same as the Woman #1 because one is a 
good Christian and the other one is an unsaved harlot.

Perhaps they are twins, perhaps they live in parallel universes, perhaps 
those are stock photos and I am an agnostic trying to be funny, perhaps 
we'll never know. All I know is that they are both incredibly hot and I 
wouldn't mind shopping for purses or dating without obligations with 
either one of them.

And talking about hot women, what was that on the site about some 
postcard of Brooke? Just out of curiosity, I would really like to know.

Keep up the good work,

Adolfo J. Peņa

Dave wrote Monday morning: 


This may be beating a dead horse, and perhaps you've been notified of this already, but...

Alicia is using a pseudonym, trolling for dates as Megan. The audacity, using her picture while perpetrating a lie on the unsuspecting lonely male population!




And Elysse, Hedda, Meg and Maggie wrote to tell me that she is doling out beauty tips on MSN women. 

Dear Rob-

While I was perusing the links that msn email kindly displays for me everyday, I came across your girl 'Alicia' once again. It seems that now she is modeling for "Beauty Tips for the End of Summer." She looks rather sad. Perhaps she didn't meet anyone with her single ads?


Hi Rob,
Alicia is also showing up at an MSN Women article on "Beauty Tips for the
End of Summer". From the background it looks like she's outside at a cafe.
Maybe she's waiting to meet one of the gentlemen she's been meeting on
American Singles.

Love your web site! It's one of those things that help me get through my
day - always something fun happening.

Hedda B.

Here's Alicia again, and man, does she have some great ideas about 
end-of-the-summer skin!


Hey Rob-

She's back!

I saw Alicia the unsolicited love story woman on the MSN website.

Apparently, she also gives unsolicited beauty tips. Or not
unsolicited, but she's still there, and it's freaking me out. I
didn't believe in the whole "she's invading the internet thing" until
I saw it for myself, and now...well now I know.

Your site is awesome. Keep up the good work.


Chris wrote with this image, but didn't screen-capture the rest of the ad.

Rob -

Here is a picture of Alicia, she popped up while surfing, I was kind of excited to see her, not just to 'see' her, but I feel as if I know a celebrity with all that I have read about her on your site. Which by the way is Awesome and the first site I look at each day. Keep up the great work.


Tulsa, OK


Craig wrote with this eHarmony banner. Could it be? Alicia getting married? It is hard to tell if that is her without a look at her chest dress. And this guy looks a lot taller than Maurice.

Hi Rob,

Apparently Alicia and Maurice got married last year. I guess after Alicia
dropped the handbag business and found wild financial success selling
beauty tips, Maurice grew despondent and they split up. Or maybe they
only got married for tax reasons, since they used the obviously ficticious
names "Nicole" and "Jason".

It's a hard life, being Internet celebrities.

Love the website. Thanks for the entertainment and education.


Update Sept. 14th.

Tara alerted me to this kiosk at UCLA, and Eric Lawrence came through with two photos.

An ad in the center of the image, close-up below.

Aye! Alicia is pregnant? Who is the father!? Did she get married?

They can NOT stop these ads with this cliffhanger! Arrrr!!


Please continue reading page 2 | 3 of the unsolicited commercial love story

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