Shoe, Free, Job Questions at Cockeyed.com

On Monday, August 23rd, 2004, I asked Cockeyed.com readers to fill out a short questionnaire.

The first question was "What brand of shoes are you wearing?", the second was "What product or service do you feel should be provided for free, but is not?", and the third was " What question do people always ask when they learn of your occupation?"

The answers to these three questions may help give you a more accurate image of your fellow cockeyed.com reader. I hope you enjoy the answers.

Name	What brand of shoes are you wearing?	What product or service do you feel should be provided for free, but is not?	What question do people always ask when they learn of your occupation?
Mike Weaver	Dr. Martin	Beer.	Wow, so I guess you're smart, huh? (I'm a chemical engineer. No, I'm not all that bright.)
Derek Engelking	target	getting the newpaper in the morning!	are you a phlebotomist?
Glen K. Amo	no shoes inside	Psychological counseling / meds	When the hell are you going to get a real job? HUH??? I don't pay my taxes just so you can ... blah blah blah.
Matt Hall	Converse	Tacos.	Is that the place with the weird bathroom windows?
Chris Ostrander	Concerse	I believe that Prostitution should be legalized, and made free, so all young nerds will have a hot date for the Prom.	Do you guys sell those $5.55 Hot n' ready Pizzas?
Eleanor Roberts	Timberland	Birth control	Do you experiment on people?
Kevin Wilson	DC's	Internet Access	I teach karate and I'm a 3rd degree black belt when I tell people they always ask "Really? Are you serious?"
Greg	Bostonians	Bridges and Tunnels	What do you do exactly?
sam lewis	doc martin	massages at work	what's that?
Geoffrey Litwack	Miu Miu.	Wireless internet access.	What else do you do?
Daniel Baker	Lugz	Lap Dances	"Oh, that's interesting" (Office Clerk)
michelle boxall	I'm barefoot	Petrol	What restaurant do you work at?
Chris	Doc Martens	I feel just about everything should be free, from Electric and gas to medical care. I especially feel this way when I have to pay fo it. Unfortunately, none of this stuff is free.	I have boring, low profile jobs. People usually follow my lead when I change the subject.
Andres Rosales	Nike	food	How boring is it?
scott	bass	worldwide mobile phone service	doesn't it bother you seeing all those dead people?
Jenni Sullivan	Harley Davidson	I think that gasoline should be free. What a better world this would be. It would also cut back on ridiculous conversations about how expensive gas is.	Shredding?? Like Enron??
Jeff Sisson	Swedish Clogs	Carbonated beverages. It really can't cost that much can it?	Do you ever get free stuff at the thrift store?
Jess Takken	Windriver	Office masseuse	Does it pay well?
Jason McDaniel	Sketchers	Floss (I do not understand why 100m of "string" costs 4 dollars).	Why is customer service so atrocious there?
Daniel Waters	Danner	The internet, of course!	Can you fix my computer? (The answer is no, but I'll be happy to look at your radar.)
Joseph Johnson	Sketchers	Nothing really comes to mind as being "should be free". But I think a lot of things are overpriced like phone service, movie theaters, water...lots of things.	Thats not really what you went to school for, is it?
Andy	Vans	Car Repair. My blender has a lifetime warranty, why not my car ?	How did you manage that?
Kate Alcock	Converse	personal hygiene products	Really?!
Brandon	Airwalk Sandals	Crossing certain bridges in our state. Don't we already pay enough in taxes to cross the bay bridge? Thats alot of money if you are a commuter. I used to have to cross the the benecia bridge everyday... that was $2 a day!!!!!!!!!!	Is that like a male secretary?
Rachel Beck	Transit	Grocery cart use - okay, so technically it's free, but to unhook the cart from the line of carts, you have to deposit a quarter. WHAT IF I DON'T HAVE A QUARTER? Do they expect me to try to carry an entire cart's worth of groceries in my ARMS? Last time I did that, I knocked over 3 displays and dropped a jar of pickles in the dairy food aisle.	Don't you have a degree?
Joe Carney	Rockports	Basic Cable	-
Holly Drumm	Walmart Sandals	I am a big advocate for older child adoption, and I believe that kids coming out of foster care should have free counseling, to help them with the transition.	WHY IN THE WORLD do you need to be a stay-at-home mom to two teenagers?
Becky	GAMA S	Health care/health insurance. I'm so glad Michael Moore is tackling HMOs in his next film.	Me: "I work in the marketing department at a company in Carpinteria." Them: "What's Carpinteria?"
richard vining	merrill	nothing - viva capitalism	can you fix my computer?
Patrick	GBX	Parking should almost always be free.	Is that how they make those?
Valerie Ledbetter	Converse	Local free phone calls from hotel rooms. Christ!	And that means you do what, exactly?
Alan	Barefoot	Health Care	Don't you get depressed from listening to people's problems all of the time?
David	Merrill	Bacon	When do you get any sleep?
David Wieczorek	ES	Education and Healthcare (Nothing is really free but the top two should be covered by taxes.)	Well I am a college student so they always ask "What are you studying?" I say physics. They usually then say "Sorry." and "What do you want to do with that?" I say "I don't know."
Eric Sedlmayer	Sanuk sandals	Compressed air at gas stations. I hate spending 50 cents to put air in my tires.	Heh, webmaster... Are you like Spiderman??
Jennifer Friedman	Ferregamo	Gift Wrapping at every store that has gift giving items.	Did you invest in Google?
Travis rice	saucony!	fruit trees in parks and come on, health care and babysitting.	are you like, the person who picks the art?
Gary Robbins	Old Navy	Foot Massages	Are you psychoanalyzing me Right Now?
Kevin Fletcher	New balance	Health care or beer...Either would be acceptable.	Stereolithagraphy is what?
Joshua Wiltshire	State Street	Dry cleaning, but only for pants; shirts would still be charged for. This would entice more people to get their clothes dry cleaned with a sort of "2-for-1 sale" one suits.	Do you make a lot of tips?
Murray	Nike	Cable TV	Do you know the winning numbers?
Josh Rybicki	skechers	Cable TV	How do they kill the cow? Do they whack it with a hammer?????
Bob Erickson, c/o OTM	Dr Scholls	There should be an 800 number to call that tells you exactly what to wear, head-to-toes, for any event or activity you describe. Some variety could be encouraged, of course, but a basic outfit would be a good start so people (meaning ME) would never show up dressed too far out of whack for the particular event. Especially for functions at my kids schools.	Really? Where did you go to school?
Paulin RICHARD	Nike	dunno, I'm not -that- communist.	You like it that way? (I skipped 3 grades and I'm going to college next year)
sam mcallister	N/A	Popcorn and drinks at the movies. If not for free, it should be included in the price of the ticket.	Oh really? So you're like the next Bill Gates?
Name	What brand of shoes are you wearing?	What product or service do you feel should be provided for free, but is not?	What question do people always ask when they learn of your occupation?

elizabeth	fleuvogs	burritos	like, real brains?
rick edwards	reebok	parking	Can you make a living doing that?
Chuck Jones	Merril	Parking	How do you pay the bills?
Joe	ECCO	Basic cable.	So what is the mayor up to?
Chris Cook	Rockport	Parking	Can you help me fix my computer?
James Berg	Timberlands	Airport luggage carts.	So you're going to be a neurologist?
phillip kenyon	vineyard	hi- speed wireless internet	will you fix my computer.
Mike Fischer	Faded Glory	Pizza delivery. The shop up the street has the gall to charge an additional dollar for delivery of their $12 pizza. Its a crime! I propose (solution du jour) a Consitutional ammendment to correct this blasphemy.	Do you mean legal drugs or...
Matt	Red Wing	Medical Care	What does a longshoreman do?
Matt Thompson	Rockport	Car washes. Don't know why, just always irks me that they cost like $10.	Huh? or What's that? (I'm a theoretical chemistry grad student.)
Mick Sleeper	Prospector	Parking	What's that mean?
Tom	Birkenstock	water	Why?I'm a philosophy major.
bob mc	nb	sex advice and fish care tips	what?
Brad Johnson	Nike	Home interweb access	Oh, is that what you went to school for?
Raub Shapiro	Dr. Martens	healthcare	People always ask about pornography when they find out I make short films.
James	Caterpillar	Mass transit	So... you want to be a priest?
jason thorn	Converse	Any communication, phone, internet, post, everything	you're getting paid how much?
Daniel	Rockport	All public documents should be available online in PFD format from the government agencies that hold those documents.	Are lawyers a pain to work with?
Zach Maggio	Diesel	I think that when you are born, whatever state you are born is should provide your family with a foam finger adorned with that state's logo, and possibly the state motto.	So, do you like, get to decide yourself who gets into Berkeley and who doesn't? Is that hard?
drew quinton	converse	internet	what are you majoring in?
Tracy	Rockport	A 24 hour emergency Monty Pytho quote line!	Oh, really?
Mike	Bass	When I moved and got a new telephone number, it cost extra to NOT have my number listed in the telephone book! What's up with that?!	Where's your pocket protector? (I'm an electrical engineer)
bill	diesel	tech support for macromedia products	do you work for yourself, or for a company?
Matt Grigsby	Blue Reeboks	Cable should be free, don't you think? In the old days, television signals were just beamed into your living room, and you only needed a tv set to capture them. Now I pay more for my cable service than I do my phone bill and car insurance. What's up with that? How did we end up paying like this? It's an outrage, I tell you.	Do you like that sort of work? (I'm an analyst for Child Protective Services, and previously was an analyst for the welfare office).
Austin	barefoot	bottled water	Where do you go to school? (student)
Andrew Mudd	Pumas	Higher education. That or healthcare. In lieu of those, I'd take pizza and beer.	When I go to some websites, they show me lots of porn ads. How do I get rid of those?
Lisa	cole haan	bottled water	i have a (fill in computer brand), but i don't know how to use it at all. can you teach me how to use it (for free)?
Sean Armstrong	Doc Marten's	I feel that there should be no charge for the photos that are taken of people on rollercoasters at theme parks.	How should I go about replacing my bathtub?
Matt	Bass	Heroin, in kind of a Malthusian way.	Have the heard the one about the lawyers and the sharks? - or - How can you represent criminals.
Mike	avia	broadband internet connections	what exactly does an engineer do?
Ben Cocchiaro	not applicable	Highways	Oh. How's that workin' out for ya?
Dave	None	Health Care	Do you glow in the dark?
Scott von Berg	I'm barefoot!	Health Care	How many successes have you had?
Katie	None	Basic food stuffs, like bread, water, milk and cheese	And what exactly does that mean?
Ben Parmeter	Addidas	Wouldn't it be cool if sporting goods were free? Maybe that would spur people on to go out and exercise a bit. We could start a government subsidized sporting goods program. Perhaps we would also have more gold medalists in the olympics. Sounds like an excellent sustainable plan to me.	Can you fix my computer? Or Do you work alot of hours? Or are you stuck in a cube all day?
Patrick	cheap	mobile phone service	So I guess you're pretty smart then, right?
Simon Wright	Toe-socks	Love	"Oh man, I bet you have some funny stories." I do not have any funny stories.
Emily Quinn	Human/barefoot	Air. Oh wait, it is? Then I'd have to say pens. There should be free pens. I lose too many of them, so they should be free.	They don't ask a question, they just give a weak smile and walk away slowly.
Jason Morgan	Reebok	Various mailers at the post office. If I want to send something media mail and I don't have my own mailer, I have to buy one of those overpriced ones.	Is it hard? (No, I'm not porn star)
Daniel James	Botrini.	Healthcare.	A software Pirate?
Devlyn	Chacos	Automobile engine work. The manufacturers should have to pay for it!	If I work at HP or Micron. And if I can fix their computer/printer/scanner/mac/life.
Matthew Carroll	Asics	Health care. I realize universal health care wouldn't be acually free of cost, but if you couldn't afford it and needed it, then it would free. So, in qualifying my statement, it should be free when you can't afford it.	Yeah, so what exactly does that mean? (Environmental Engineering)
Jason J Brunet	New Balance	sex	Do you need a website?
Tim	None!	Buffets	What's your major?
William Robertson	I'm barefoot	Silly string. Really a basic human need. A need for string. String which is silly.	So, what are you planning to do with your life?
Clint Deerson	State Street	Wireless Internet Access	wow, is it as bad as i remember it?
Arnie Heitz	barefoot	Free soda at all eating establishments	Do you make cars? (No, Hyundai also makes computer chips)
Gary Weingarden	New Balance	-	How can I avoid probate?
Nathan Flesher	Ferricelli	Washing the dirt off of buildings.	When are you going to be done?
Jonathan Goff	socks	Broadband Internet	You're a bum?
A.	none right now	Healthcare, (but I would settle for cable).	They always say "that must be interesting...but do you like it?"
Jonathan Dolias	Adidas	WEll hookers of course, but honestly speaking I think gas should be free. Gas and hte gym. Gas, the gym and psychology for girls, especially that one messing with my head now	Couldn't you do better?
Rich	Doc Martens	Basic Cable TV. (Tons of ads on it already, don't they basically pay for it?)	Can you fix my credit card bill? (nope.)
Frank	Birkenstock	Anti-Virus Software, Anti-Spam Software, AIDS testing, Health Awareness Training	Why do hackers write virus and other software?
Mark Inman	Vans	Healthcare for the poor or elderly. If you are looking for a more wacky answer/ not so serious I would say water. Ever notice there has been a steady and gradual disappearance of drinking fountains? Conspiracy? I can't really say for sure.	Have you ever been kidnapped by a revolutionary army? or Have you ever accidentally run into a drug lab while doing business in the field?
Terry	Bare	Vasectomies	You get paid for that?
Christopher Johnson	Justin (boots)	Healthcare.	They ask me "Why?". My response: "I like to help people". (I'm a guidance counselor)
Greg Lauzon	Doc Marten	Medical care of course! And daycare for working stiffs. And alcohol.	You get paid for that?
Alex Botti	Red Wing	Almost anything a bank charges a fee for now, but didn't 20 years ago.	Can I ask you a question? A couple of months ago I had a virus on my computer and... (could be anything after that)
Josh Storlie	Red Wing Boots	Lawn Care	So you are one of those guys that stand along side the road with those cameras on tripods, What do those camera-thingamijigs do???
Crystal Minson	Converse	Grocery shopping.	Why do you want to do that with all the education cutbacks?
Darrin	Campers	European fast food ketchup packets.	Isn't that boring?
Michael Graham	I am not.	Accepting paypal payments. I mean, what they hell! You accept a credit card once and you might as well close your account because there is no "downgrade" button. They are only screwing over the important people.	Banana
Joe Allen	Redwing	I don't know what of what I think should be free, but I really hate things that are sold only on a subscription basis - wireless apps, TIVO, etc. I like to pay once and be done with it. I hate being nickel-and-dimed to my deathbed.	Do you make porn? (Video Editor)(And the answer is no. Not yet anyway.)
Peter Breuch	Timberland	Shoe shines - especially on four-year-old Timberlands.	Do you like it?
David	Addidas	Cable Television - why do we have to pay and watch commercials?	Hey! My computer has been doing (insert problem relating to Microsoft/AOL/Stupidity here). What do you think it could be? Could you come take a look?
R.	Unlisted	clean public restrooms	Is your company publicly traded?
Dane Percy	etnies	hmmm..dental care/health care	Can I buy you a drink?
David Sweeney	Skechers	A tasty, wholesome, minimally processed - possibly organic - complete nutrition bar (or butter), packaged like an energy bar (or butter), in which you can get 33.33% of your USRDA of vitamins, minerals, protein, carbs and fats. They could come in three packs, for breakfast, lunch and dinner.	Do you go to all those places?
Scott Kafarski	Hush Puppies	Grief counselors should give out Pixie Stix.	You're an engineer? Can you look at my basement?
Jennifer	Converse.	Antihistamines. I'm either broke or I'm sneezing all over you. Neither is a nice end product of my overactive immune system.	When I tell them I study physical or biological anthropology, for some reason they always ask me about dinosaurs.
Jim Smith	Nike	Masturbation	why dont you have a job?
Seth	Converse	Medical care	So do you get to drive the floor buffer too?
Daniel	Adidas	Headphones on airplanes. Seriously, do they have really have to milk us for $2 more?	You actually want to do that?
York Tan	Vans	Internet	Can you get me free tickets?
Jonathan Dove	Converse	online payment at the california dmv	Oh, do you sing?
Jimmy Karoly	K-Swiss	Internet Access	What are the burgers really made out of?
Karl Spurzem	Birkenstock	Internet, or cable tv. Probably cable tv.	Where do you go to school?
Hayley Bessette	None.	Payphones. Sometimes people just need to make a call and it really isn't costing the phone company for you to make a few emergency calls and the bulk of their profit isn't from quarters I don't think.	They are usually in shock and awe, it makes them nervous to be in my presence so there are very few questions.
marney mason	I am barefoot.	Health care.	Wow! That must be fun!
Mike Imboden	Converse	Healthcare	So what do you actually do?
SPC Eric Hebert	Altama Boots	Massages :-D	Well, I'm in the US Army, so the normal question is, "Have you ever killed someone?"
Robin	barefoot	housing	Must be nice being outside all the time, eh?
Alex	Avia	Sensual Massages	Why don't you get a real job?
Sir Frankie Fishburn	Salvation Army	Money Laundering	Wow, you must be really smart... Quick! What's 24 plus 13?
Dave	Haflinger	Refills at swanky restaurants. If McD can give me free refills on a $2.99 meal, why must "La Grenouille" charge me $1.75 for each 10 oz. glass of diet Pepsi, when my soup alone is eight bucks?	You must be smart. Are you smart? (when I was a chemist)
Becky Nordmann	Teva	Lunch	Do you like it?
Ryan Hunt	Keen	Hair cuts	Did you have to pass a Dept of Homeland security clearance check?
Jared Pointer	New Balance	Trips to space.	Do you really surf the internet for 8 hours a day?
Adam Hinton	Vans	Health-Care. Canada has it, why can't we?	Oh, what do you do there? (I used to work at the Mercedez-Benz plant near me)
Conor McGee	Adidas.	Space-travel.	Does it smell bad? (I'm a professional sewerage diver)
david carlton	timberland	pop-tart shining.	why would anyone want shiny pop-tarts?
Nick Estes	What shoes?	Public transportation	Can you fix my computer? The answer of course is NO, I AM NOT A 3&3$&!3* TECHNICIAN; unless I'm in an exceptionally good mood when I tell them my hourly rate instead so I can watch them faint.
Sean	Combat Boot	Medical Care	Does my computer have a virus?
Dan Finkle	DVS Shoes	The self-serve air pump at the gas station should be free. It's AIR!	What is a 'sanitation engineering specialist?'... you mean 'garbage man?'
Bob	Clarks	Water should be free.	So, what exactly does that mean?
Gary Bloomquist	Frye Boots	Curbside recycling.	Can you look at my Grandma's violin? I think it's a Stradivarius.
Roland Simon	Rockport	Candy. Candy should be free.	Why don't you get a real job?
Connor MacLeod	New Balance	Shoe Shining, Bus, Circus.	You must hate your job, don't you?
Curtis	Born	Rides home from Campustown after bar hours.	Why would you do that?
Steve Hunter	Merrell	Health care in the states	They usually ask if I'm a geek.
Francis Skipper	Franco Fortini	High Speed Wirelss Internet	What is chemical informatics and why would anyone want to do it?
Mark	Puma	Lunch	Is that as boring as it sounds?
chris	converse	healthcare	why?
Mark Jensen	combat boots	education, health care, or back rubs	Can I be less interested?
Erik	nunn bush	public radio + tv w/o the guilt of pledge drives	does that mean you get to drive the train?
Sean	Gucci	Parking	So, all you do all day is draw pictures?
Marc	Faded Glory	Software upgrades	"So, what do you do with that?" (I do computer graphics for a law review publisher)
Adrian	Chuck Taylors	The internet. Its just 'out there' ready for people to see it. But ISPs charge money to view what people put 'out there'.	What's that like?
Justin Foust	Old Navy	stress free Massages during finals	Wow, and how is that?
Chris Torok	Walmart O_O	Internet, because everyone should be able to learn for free	are you serious?
Matt Bramanti	Brassboot	Real estate market information	Can you appraise my house? I'm trying to sell it.
Jon Katz	Globe	sexual favors	-
Victoria Rose	Teva	Water. Whoever heard of paying for water?	People often remark to me, "Wow, you're already a junior in high school! Time flies, doesn't it?"
Martin Willis Monroe	Puma Romas	Wireless Internet	Why?
Jason Lee	K-Swiss	-	hey dont you get a job?
Bing	Wolverines	Water	That must be exciting/interesting
Pete	Hanwag	Wireless internet, health care, and BEER.	"Whats that?" Then I have to explain for 5 minutes.
Kelly O'Briant	Speedo	toilet paper	Are you crazy?
Cameron Craig	Polo	phone service	So, do you get to travel a lot?
Marcus	State Street	Refreshing bottled water	So you want to work for Disney?
Josh	airwalk	haircuts - I want to look good, but $15-20 is still way too much	That's not hard. Why does your wrist really hurt? Or, "will you come take a look at my computer?" (I'm a web programmer)
Ethan Salter	clarks	a big giant glass of ice water at movie theatres with your pop corn. they always give me a tiny little cup with a miniscule amount of water in it; which, adds very little to the abatement of my thirst.	did you film the car wreck last night?
Mike Daniels	Columbia	Weatherstripping	Did you go to school for that?
Shane	Etnies	ramen	oh, cool
Matt Whitson	New Balance	I think toll roads are the biggest outrage ever. We don't have them in the South, and everytime I travel to the North, I immediately become infuriated. Pay some taxes, people!	Don't your arms get tired?
Kavon Daftari	echo	Love... it always costs something.	Can you fix my computer.
sunny	vans	decent television channels	when are you graduating?
Mike Kania	Converse	Credit reports.	Can you help me fix this computer problem?
martin	Converse	music	Do you read a lot?
Yul Kim	New Balance	Intelligent conversation.	Oh, what are you studying?
Robert Buergi	Skechers	Parking	Oh, so you do, like, patent stuff?
Aaron	Savier	Backrubs.	Do you like it, or is it just boring as hell?
Megan Reigner	Anarchy	Dentistry	Oh-so have you have found any famous people? Can you find my long lost friend who I haven't seen since second and grade and would probably not even remember me even though I think about them every day?! Can'ya??
Name	What brand of shoes are you wearing?	What product or service do you feel should be provided for free, but is not?	What question do people always ask when they learn of your occupation?
Kyle LaMalfa	Banana Joe's	We urgently need a free college education service.	So what else do you do?
David Flores	DC	no-frills funerals	You must be everyone's friend
Christopher Boetticher	Kenneth Cole	Deep tissue massage	Can you take a look at my PC sometime? I think I have a virus.
Jennifer	Nine West	Feminine protection products	I'm a librarian. People always ask "why do you need a master's degree to do that?" I feel like smacking these idiots.
Paul Charette	FlipFlop	Lawyers	Isn't that boring?
Megan	Vans	High-speed internet access. Or health insurance. Or both. Yeah, both.	I'm a math tutor and when people find out they usually ask if I like math. I'm like 'duh...why would I have taken all available math classes at the community college if I hated it? I must be a glutton for punishment.'
Tom Wolcott	adidas	free air at gas stations	have you been on letterman yet?
Bobb	Pony	Prescription medication for seniors (old people not students)	Can I get a discount?
P Hughes	socks	beer	what is an automated warehouse
Lech Kazmirski	Military issued	health care...	do you fly airplanes? why aren't you in iraq? what languages do you work in?
Shad	Airwalks	ATM transactions on any machine regardless of bank of origin.	How do like it?
Josh Brown	RJ Colt	Internet :)	So how hard is that, really?
Annie Poland	puma	tampons	What school do you go to?
Chris	Adidas	Trash	What does that mean?
Diane Brandt	Skechers	College classes!! It's outrageous just to go to college to get a job you truly like. So, sometimes, I ask myself, is it going to worth it?	Where does the products get shipped to?
Dennis Clinefelter	Dansko	Wireless access in Starbucks	You do what?
Frank DeVecchis	Chancellors	I'd personally like a nation-wide, government sponsored concierge service. I've never experienced what it would be like to have my own concierge but I can't imagine it being anything but efficient and damn cool. I wanna' call my concierge from my desk at work and have them make dinner reservations or call ahead to the grocery store and order whatever it is I may need or pre-buy my movie tickets or whatever. The point is, I want someone to make my life as easy and hassle-free as humanly possible. "Concierge. Based on my prior choices, what movie do I feel like seeing tonight?" or "Concierge. What should I get my girlfriend for her birthday? Can you order that and get it giftwrapped?" I want someone to answer the questions I don't feel like looking up myself. I want someone to make my life a whole lot easier. Does that make me lazy? Yes, but man would it be sweet.	How do you get that terrible smell off?
Thomas Coates Welsh	Reebok	Switch that question around, because people should have to pay for your awesome website. Seriously? Receiving phone calls. Paying for that is lame...	Why don't you have a job yet?! I told you my best friend/aunt/second cousin had the hookups for you, but you didn't WANT to wash dishes for them...
Chris	Bostonian	Whiskey	Oh, that must be fun? Which isn't a question, but they always inflect like it is.
Abby Schirmer	Adidas	Free transport to see the ones you love.	James Madison College? I wish I went there....
Kevin Mann	-	-	Can you get a DUI for riding a bicycle drunk?
Dan Cabacungan	sketchers?	My rent, which presently is the opposite of free--costly.	What's brain consulting? (I'm a brand consultant)
Scott ReMine	handmade rubber	local phone calls	Do you have lots of crazy stories?
Jennifer McClary	Socks	Sex, I don't think prostitutes should charge for their services.	Do you wear a headset like Britany Spears?
Quinnifer Walston	fuzzy slippers	Most definitely telephone service- I'm talking cell,fax,landline, DSL; anything about communication.	You really get paid for all that travel?
Elena ReMine	New Balance	internet access	no really, what do you do?
Bachman Quach	Wolverine	I feel that ringtones and other items for your cell phone should be free. I mean come on, a dollar for a ringtone when I can get the actual song for a dollar as well?	-
Ben Shatz	Shaq	Healthcare	Wh-w-why? Why dammit, why?
Mike Sheard	Converse	Air Travel	You must earn some money working with computers? Yeah right.
Phil Geer	Dexter	Everything but advice	What on earth gets you out of bed in the morning?
Nate Addink	Deer Stags	TicketMaster	What's that? / So what do you DO? / Uhhh.....
Ashley A. Rusk	Bee Fly	Dell Computer Notebooks. They're so dang expensive and every college student needs one--the government should just hand them out to graduating seniors along with applicable software. Encourages education...maybe...
Eric Hortop	Blundstones	shuttles for bicyclists across no-bike roads	So... you're going to teach math?
Brian Bennett	Doc Martins	Internet Access	Oh, like for websites and stuff?
Amanda	Adidas	Internet Access	How do you pronounce espresso?
Sarah Gerhardt	Trax	lobsters. definitely.	So, you really make tires?!
David LeMieux	Lakai	stock photography	Do you make commercials?
Andrew Wright	None!	Robot insurance.	Isn't that boring?
Joe Engels	Stacy Adams	Teleportation	Do you mean stock options? My dad has those. -- I work for an Options Exchange, which are options on stock. NOT STOCK OPTIONS.
Andrew Mullaly	ecco	newspaper	Do you enjoy being an attorney? - a close second "Do you lie a lot?"
David	Converse	Water, bottled and tap.	What's that? I am a courier.
daniel	Blundstones	Free "hard luck tales" should be told on every street corner to remind us that there is always someone worse off than we are....	wow, can you get me some free chocolate?
Gary	Reef	q-tips... if they were free we would be living in a cleaner, better hearing America.	I'm a risk analyst at an insurance company, so people always ask me "Oh, kinda like that guy from Fight Club?"
ed mcbride	airwalk	i'm all about free coffee	do you like it?
Jenne Bergstrom	Dr. Marten's	Parking.	Why do you need a master's degree for that?
Kathryn Hutchison	No shoes for me	lap dances	What's an oboe?
Jessica Hill	Target brand	government sponsored health care, of course! If I couldn't get that, then I'd pick birth control. And my third choice would be paperclips. I never have one when I need it, but I usually "borrow" mine from work.	What magazine do you work for? When they find out I'm a web developer for a magazine, but it's nothing thrilling like Popular Science or Weekly World News. I work for a magazine called DM Review, all about managing data in databases.
Nick Spezio	Sketchers	Paypal transactions! Paypal automatically deducts a "percentage" of each auction that paid for by a Paypal account. (Paypal is owned by ebay, and I'm already paying for the auctions.)	What school did you go to?" followed by... "Does that position pay well?
Spenser Tuneberg	Converse	I think maybe gasoline should be free due to the fact that in Alaska actually people because they have so much oil that they give every person 3000 dollars every year. Why knot instead just give everyperson free gas.	Hmmmm...... Why?
Jesse Thomas Barton	Skechers	iPods! No, really, it would be nice to not have to pay water and sewage and garbage pickup. Heck, what about the electric bill? And with gas heat, winters are a bummer.	I'll take anything I can get. "Don't you fix computers? I thought you were a computer guy."
Kimberly Ehrhardt	God's-Barefoot	Sex	Doesn't that hurt?
Jasen Johns	Teeva	Postage... but only to a limited degree. Everyone should be alotted five free personal letters a month, just to keep folks writing to one another. I know it's anachronistic, but e-mail just isn't as warming as opening the mail box to find friendly words waiting for ya. Hmmm. Maybe this is too topical.	Why can't I cut down MY trees when and if I WANT to? Answer: Because tree ordinances are necessary to prevent Atlanta's air quality from declining any further than it already has.
Joshua Krell	Birkenstock	teh intarweb	I am a student at Colrado School of Mines (www.mines.edu), so I am always asked if I why I chose mining as a carrer.
Daniel Vore	Asics	internet or Phone...	how old are you?
Katie	Barefooted!	Broadband internet connections. The internet has such a wealth of knowledge (and awesome sites like cockeyed.com!) but dial up the not-$40-a-month alternative, and painfully slow, so those people can't research things like the economy, so they pick the presidential candidate with the BAD economic plan and so the whole country falls apart because there isn't free broadband for everyone! ..ohyeah... free clean water and electricity and food and junk would be cool for free, too.	"A viola.. you mean a violin, right?" or, if I'm walking with my viola in hand, "play me a hoedown, on that there fiddle, little girl!" sigh the viola student gets no respect.
Name	What brand of shoes are you wearing?	What product or service do you feel should be provided for free, but is not?	What question do people always ask when they learn of your occupation?

Bill Koch	Not wearing any	Internet access	Do you like it?
Sam Hall	Sketchers	internet	Why did you leave California to go to school in Wisconsin??
Manson L. Cheung	Nike	Internet/Cell phone	Do you play with toys all day?
Lara	Sketchers	Using the postal service website to forward your snail mail. They charge $1.00 for doing it online! It's free if you go into	If I can get someone a free wireless phone.
Robert calvin	nike	the mail	are intrest rates going to go up?
Pat Lewis	None	Public transportation. Should I have given a funny answer instead?	You're an artist? For who?
Alvaro Salkeld	Airwalk ripoffs	Personally, I've always felt the drinks at restaurants should be free... but I guess I'm just a cheapskate.	So, uh, what the hell do you do again?
Lauren	Doc Martins	Part 1 of my solution to teen pregnancy/overpopulation: Instead of Barbies... little girls should be given ugly, little 9lb dolls that squall, poop, and spit-up for 12 random hrs a day; complete with a homing device so it can't be left behind.	Wow! Do you get to hang with the band?
Jacob Aldridge	Windsor Smith	Public Transport	Is that like I.T. and computers and stuff? (No, it has nothing to do with IT, I AM A WRITER!!)
Noah Lopez	Saucony	public bidet	how old are you, again?
Charles F. Frost	Phys Sci	Cab service for drunks.	Are you one of those guys in the bunnysuits?
Laura Berg	adidas	Hmmmm....I'd say bottled water...	What grade do you teach?
Jason G. Shanfield	flip flops	health care	will you do legal work for me for free?
Kellie Robbins	N/A (barefoot)	Credit reports, without having to cancel a free trial within 30 days.	N/A (currently unemployed). Before moving, as a Financial Consultant, no one found it interesting enough to ask any questions.
Nick Hartigan	Puma	Health Care... paid for by taxes. Does that count?	Is it hot in the costume?
Nathan Schley	Vans	Online newspaper archives	Do you regret going to community college?
Mike	Vans Old School	US Post Office	What grade are you in?
Jonathan Baldwin	Puma	A wireless internet broadcast for everyone.	why art?
Jeremy Hagan	Doc Martens	Neuticles	Whats subrogation mean?
Aaron	Vans	Spectacle cleaning.	How do you sleep at night?
John	PF Flyers	Internet	They always smile politely and nod (I am still in high school, but want to be a mechanical engineer at MIT), but they act as if I have lobsters crawling out of my mouth.
Clinton N. Godlesky	Nike	Internet (As in everywhere)	What are those?
Jake Swan	Dunnit	public transit.	Are you, like, one of those bike couriers?
Ursela Hemman	Socks!	The internet.	How can you sit staring at the computer all day and still love doing it?
Michael Jung	Mizuno	internet service	What college are you planning on applying to?
Debra Millhollin	Adidas	Changing your mailing address online. It's so silly that if you go in and fill out paperwork for them to read through, it's free, but if you try to do it paperlessley online they want to charge you. The nerve!	I work in a library, so I always get asked if I like to read. People, "like" doesn't begin to describe my obsessive need to have at least six books checked out at a time. I'm powerless to curb my obsession.
Andrew Stern	Diesel	Free GOVT hotdogs on the fourth of July.	You must drink a LOT of coffee.
Duncan Bourne	Simple	Unsuccessful medical procedures	Do you spend all day photographing models?
Chris Frioux	Nu Balance	Massages. I mean, come on...We'd be a much less tense society if we could just get a decent massage here and there. The government can not build one jet or one tank, and have more than enough money to support an army of massuses who can collectively relax this stressed and tense society.	I'm a DJ at a radio station in Oklahoma City, so the I usually get asked one of two questions: "Is it fun?" or "How much money do you make?" And I'm here to tell you that it's not much...I'm a single male and I'm eligible for food stamps. That should tell you something.
H Mallett	Vans	Love	Can you fix my computer?
Chris Miller	medical cast	Fire. It is the oldest invention, and still a very useful one, and it should be free to all humanity, as Prometheus willed it.	I am not currently burdened by an occupation.
Greg D'Avis	Nike	Beer	Who are you voting for this year?
Tony Mansour	Nike	Scalp massages	Usually they are just silent.
Jason Eshleman	Long's flip flo	Medical care. OK, not free, but a portable, single payer system like the rest of the industrialized, service economy world enjoys would certainly be nice.	Oh, like on CSI?
brent	Born	Air at a gas station when I check my tires and fill them up. It's usually 25 cents to turn on the compressor.	I'm a network engineer. The first question I get is, "can you take a look at my computer, i have a problem"?
Lindsay Bacher	I'm barefoot.	Health care, but that's because I'm a dirty liberal.	What are you majoring in?
Jonathan Craton	Nike	MMORPG's (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games)	What? You still don't have a job?!?
Sarah Long	Clarks	health insurance	You've been in school for how long?
Brad Arl	Red Chucks	Prostitution.	You're only a Freshman?
Robert Mast	Chaco	Collage Tuition	What Grade Are You In?
Dominic Arenas	Converse	Ball washing.	Why pediatrics? Are you a perv?
Tyler Hall	Not wearing any	ticketmaster	Can you help fix my (computer/printer/other HP product)
Thomas Feeney	Reebok	-	-
Laura Horon	Chaco	College!	Ew, don't people's feet smell?
Kyle Torngren	Bare(TM)	Healthcare	-
Aaron	Barefoot	Wireless internet	...can you tell me what that entails in less than half an hour?
Chris Rivera	Vans	Airplane rides, and mustache rides...wait, no, they should pay me more for the mustache rides.	Wow, how do you survive?
Ryan Swift	Ecco	High speed internet access.	So what exactly do you do?
Shawn Bliss	Vans	People who would clean up all the beer bottles and trash after your rad backyard punk rock BBQ, while you stay in bed sleeping it off.	Aren't you kind of old to be a full-time student? You're like, 33 or something! OMG LOL WTF heheheh :) Then I punch 'em in the head and go back to flirting with 18 year-old coeds.
Ed Cook	New Balance	Internet access	Do you get to handle lots of money?
ben	Nike	Cable	do you like it?
Stephanie Hodgson	Teva	drinking water	Which one are you, Vinnie or Guido?
Jonny's Wagon Wheel	got sox on	bus lines	I am a cookl. It's always how do you ...,(fill in the space) or whats your recipie for...once again fill in the space).
Chad Matchett	Skin	Lasagne. All lasagne should be free.	"Can you get me tickets to so and so?" (I'm a sports writer)
Tre Edmond	Puma	Transportation	What do you do again?
Steven	Flojos (sandals	Health care.	Ooooo, can you tell me anything about your job, or would you have to kill me?
Ryan Cavanaugh	Merrell	ATMs shouldn't charge me a fee. Seriously. Instead of a fee, I want it to play an upbeat song (like that one that goes "Workin at the car wash, workin at the car wash yea!") to get my spirits up in preperation for the cash I am about to receive. I believe Alan Greenspan (Ally-boy to his friends) would respond favorably and [raise \| lower] interest rates accordingly.	Do you really get free soda? Wow. Note that the same is true of Burger King employees but that doesn't impress anybody.
Ian	none	public transit. internet access. not necessarily together.	What's cryptography?
Jim Dunn	converse	new glasses	why the heck do you do that?
Ryan	I'm bare foot	Prostitution - 'course if it was free it wouldn't be prostitution would it?	"Do you fly planes?" or "What type of plane do you fly?" (I'm in the Air Force)
Jonathan Behr	converse	Well... I've always wondered why there isn't a Bureau of Free Alcohol Distribution. I mean... really!	Oh really... so are you still looking for a real job as well...?
Sally Symons	-	Diaper service	Can you explain that again?
John Ward	mechanix	car maintinence........or more spelling services	my car makes this noise...what do you think it is?
David Bayer	None	Bus Service / Public transportation	Can you help me wire my garage/house/shed. (Electrical Engineer - not an electrician!)
David Cyr	Doc Martens	Free cold water, everywhere	Kinda like interior design?
Devin Coombs	Nike	Water	Can you bless my family?
Steve McKinney	Just socks now.	None.	Why are you telling me this?
Chris Zeliff	None	Curbside Recycling	Questions on fixing their computer or:
Cameron	barefoot	Basic phone service	Why'd NPR fire Bob Edwards!?
Randy	Caterpillar	music/culture	And your wife doesn't mind?
Mike Lofgren	Vans	Cable TV	Did you give me the winning lotto ticket?
Glenn Wolfe	Dickies	Beer	Do you know anything Top Secret ?
Karl Buter	Doc Martens	Routine Car Matinence	There is an Elk Ranch in Ludington?
Skyler Willett	Vans	Any and all products that I want.	Oh jeez... why?
Nicholas Burman	none currently	liquor	They put you in a classroom!?!?
Steve Ward	Vans	Breath mints. If they were free, the world would be a much fresher place.	"How can you stand staying up all night? Don't you get tired?" I do the night audit at a hotel.
Rob Ghent	Wal-Mart shoes	College	How do you stay awake?
Ian Neukuckatz	DC	The Internet	are they dead?
Fauna Yarza	Chuck Taylors	I think that water should be free. It is a necessity.	I don't get many questions seeing as I am a student.
Stephen Corral	Adidas	Music that is available on demand and without commercial interuption.	Standard Response to after telling people I'm a graduate student in sociology: What are you going to do with that [degree]?
Kevin Donnelly	Nike	Oil changes and chopstick seperation	Does that hurt?
mary and adam	doc martens	emergency medical services	did you ride the "short bus"?
David	New Balance	Broadband internet	"What are you majoring in?" (college student)
David Killoren	New Balance	Nothing even is, much less should be, free. But my answer is "internet access."	Isn't that illegal?
Heather Hamilton	Report	Utilities - heat, water, electricity	Wow, are you really that smart?
Name	What brand of shoes are you wearing?	What product or service do you feel should be provided for free, but is not?	What question do people always ask when they learn of your occupation?

My thanks to everyone who took part in the survey. I'd like to do a few more of these, once I get a nice system figured out.