Hospital Childbirth

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The nurse and I helped Stacy upstairs in a hospital wheelchair. 

Stacy doesn't usually use a wheelchair. She prefers her Rascal ConvertAble®  powerchair. Unfortunately, the Rascal's 5-point safety harness would have been too uncomfortable for this postpartum journey.

The shared recovery room was small, particularly compared to the Five-star box-seat opulence of the delivery room.

Stacy and I rested while our new baby was in the nursery, but we got her back in time to change her first diaper. Except for misplacing my wristwatch, I did a fine job on the diaper.

Hospital staff advised us on the security measures in place to safeguard against baby-theft and child-swapping. They strapped an tiny alarm to the baby's ankle, and matched her wrist-band ID number to ours whenever reuniting our baby to us.

Recovery wasn't easy. 

Stacy was scheduled for release a day and a half later, and we just wanted to bust out of that room and settle in back home.


New babies come with a wheelbarrow full of information pamphlets. Some favorites include:
  • Child Safety Seats Save Lives
  • Breastfeeding your baby
  • the Shaking Shocker
  • Say NO to almonds and honey
  • Umbilical Cord Blood banking
  • Infant ear-piercing program 
  • Baby scams and shams
  • Worry, Worry, All Day and Night
  • Nicotine Patches are for Mom and Dad
  • Steer Clear of Anne Geddes

A yellow clip is used to clamp off the baby's obsolete umbilical port.

It was a long stay. I tried to stay comfortable in my chair. 

Part of the problem was that I thought childbirth would signal the start of our exit from the hospital, but it was just the beginning.

Everyone wanted to go home. 

Finally, on Friday around noon, the doctors and nurses gave Stacy permission to leave.

Without disarming, the innocuous ankle band could not have been cut without setting off an alarm at the hospital exits.

The nurses used a keyed electronic device to shut down the anklet alarm. 

A nurses assistant rolled Stacy and June out to the parking lot, where I picked them up. Part of their job was to make sure our car had a proper infant car seat installed. 

Our car seat was new. Unfortunately, I had broken a bottle of champagne onto it in the christening ceremony, leaving it soaked with alcohol and peppered with tiny glass shards.

Ok, that wasn't funny.

And after a short drive, baby June Cockerham made it home! Stacy did a fantastic job throughout the delivery, and baby June is beautiful, happy, and full of vim!

Stacy and I are going to try our best to be awesome parents. As long as a computer is somehow involved, I think I'll be great!

Thanks to the fine folks at Sutter Medical Center for their wonderful help, humor and patience. Hooray for everyone!


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April 26th, 2005.   Terms and Conditions  Copyright 2005