Wondering why the citizens of California are on the verge of replacing their Governor? I'll tell you why, the whole state is falling apart!

I started with my own list of concerns below, then asked a few friends to help with their own observations.

Penniless hospitals forced to pickpocket their anesthetized patients. 40% of all schools destroyed or in flames. Courthouses put up for lease. Children forced to rent Playstation 2 games instead of buying them outright. Athlete's shoes no longer made in Paris or Milan, imported instead from Taiwan or China. Internet communications besieged by phony sales letters. Roads covered with black ice, storm-drains flowing with blood. Once fertile central valley now yields deadly tomatoes. Cell phone reception occasionally less reliable than traditional land-based phone lines. Satellite dishes average just 25% the size of earlier models. Outdoor temperatures and rainfall can no longer be accurately predicted. New California State Quarter to feature old-style railroad hobo. Once clean rivers now jammed with insects, plants and fish. Department of Motor Vehicles now strangled with bureaucratic red tape. More than 80% of entire grape yield reduced to fermenting mash. Olympic Games moved. Skyrocketing gasoline prices forcing switch to dorky electric vehicles.
Rob from RetroCrush Hell ran out of room and the dead walk the earth. Due to casino donation corruption, schoolchildren forced to eat Indian corn. Neither the Lakers or Kings made it to the finals this year. 30% of the State's revenue is now derived from Blockbuster late fees.
Steve from The Sneeze Buildings and lives threatened by violent patches of shaking Earth. Mutant hornets and bees develop painful "stingers." The suspicious death of Bob Hope. Rampant infants found urinating in perfectly good diapers. "Becker" renewed for 5th season. Crooked cops look the other way as ambulances and fire trucks blatantly fail to stop at red lights. Rush hour often longer than one hour. Cutbacks on Death Row lead to combination Last Meal/Execution with single dinner from Arby's.
Evany High fives reduced to high fours. Kittens, bunnies only 80 percent as cute. San Andreas Fault actually Davis's fault. Foreheads and "frown lines" of thousands of women injected with nerve-freezing agent. Kids now staying up way past their bedtimes. 31 Flavors reduced to 25. El Pollo Loco completely off meds. Number of unpopped kernels at bottom of bag increased by 20 percent. Mars swollen beyond all comprehension. Sweaters itchier than ever. Wobbles in tables, chairs up by 40 percent. Dates end in 55 percent less frenching. Surfers now just hanging eight. San Francisco's famous It's It ice cream sandwiches revealed to not actually be it. Golden Gate Bridge, the Hollywood sign, and San Diego Zoo's giant panda, Hua Mei, now completely gray.
Matthew from Defective Yeti Escondido Honda forced to slash prices on 2003 models for one weekend only. New cost-cutting 'econo-schools' built without windows, doors. Sporting events now preceded with the singing of Limp Bizkit's "Nookie". McDonalds selling "Melancholy Meals". Recent congressional proclamation "encourages" state to sink into ocean by 2014. California dreamin' down 17%. Fresno-area clowns crying on the inside. Fucking mutt won't stop with the goddamned barking. State Seal now depicts Calvin peeing on a Ford logo. Whole state lousy with teens.
Tony King Influx of immigrants who pronounce the state "Collifona". Those damn dirty apes. The central valley finally revealed not to be the thrilling vacation resort paradise that we've been hearing about for all these years. Gangsta's forced to downgrade to regular ol' gangsters. Due to cutbacks, the states homeless population reduced to being dead. Not as many police chases being viewed from helicopters on television. Tourist sick and tired of standing around and waiting for one of those earthquakes to happen. Out of state surf board wax producers skyrocketing rates. Trying to put the dotcom bubble back together with rubber cement. UV rays from the sun mutating people's skin to a golden tan. Avocados revealed to not be as confident as their ad campaign would lead you to believe. Being forced to spoon with Nevada.