How much is inside Mustard?

A staple of summertime living, French's classic yellow mustard is the only suitable companion to hot dogs. However, while other websites delve into the buns 8-pack vs. frank 10-pack controversy, here at How Much is Inside, we wondered, how many hot dogs can you dress with one bottle of Mustard?

On Friday night, we decided to find out.


In the U.S., mustard is applied to hot dogs with a squeeze bottle, using an aggressive zig-zag motion. That is the way we decided to try it.

Other mustard application techniques from around the world:

In Germany, mustard is dipped with a spoon from a jar.

In Japan, 10cm of mustard is squeezed out in a perfect line along the bridge of the wiener.

In France, mustard is piped onto the dog with a pastry bag.

In Australia, the hot dog  is replaced by a cold pint of beer, and the mustard is left off altogether.

In the game Clue, Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the candlestick.

A few phone calls to friends, and a quick trip to Costco and we were ready to barbeque some dogs.

The heat outside was becoming unbearable, so we set the grill up in our living room and fired up the briquettes.

Boy! Was that a huge mistake! The room got so smoky, it masked the subtle bouquet of our $3 cigars!



With Eric's help, the grilling operation was moved outside.

You should have seen Tom's face when I put 47 hot dogs onto the grill at the same time.  He was concerned that I wouldn't be able to keep them all turning fast enough over the hot coals.


His fears proved unfounded, however, thanks to my honed LAN-party reflexes and short-order cooking experience at the circus. The tongs were a blur and not one hot dog was burned beyond being edible.

As the dogs came off the grill, we began lining them up on the table in the breakfast nook. We really didn't have any idea how many hot dogs one bottle of mustard could dress. We certainly didn't want to run out of hot dogs before we ran out of mustard.

At 8:30, after a good shake, Jane opened a new 14 ounce bottle of French's Classic Yellow mustard and began squeezing it onto the dogs.

We had also grill-toasted the hot dog buns. Hot dog buns are created with an ultra-delicate dough-hinge that has a 70-80% chance of pre-ingestion failure. Even the engineers at the taco shell factory laugh at the hot dog bun.

We reinforced our buns with duct tape.

We did the same with the hot dog buns.

Jane zigzagged a little mustard along each dog, methodically making her way through 20, 30 even 40 hot dogs.

Professional mustardors charge up to $60 per hour for this service at the ballpark, but Jane was volunteering her time here in the breakfast nook.

please continue reading page 2 of How Much is Inside Mustard.

How much is inside other stuff? | Goldschlager | Paper Towels | A Sharpie | Bacon Bits | Dial Complete | A Pumpkin | An Acre | A Keg | Popcorn 
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December 26th, 2005.

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