Guest Episode by Holly Forman from Minneapolis

Conversation Hearts

Conversation Hearts have been boring humans with lame sayings and leaving a chalky taste in our mouths since the dawn of time.

On Sunday, Fred and I set out to measure How Much is Inside a bag of conversation hearts.

Fred first noticed that a single serving size is 40 pieces. We believe that is also the current World Record for "Most Conversation Hearts Consumed in One Sitting".

First, we counted how many hearts are in one bag, not counting the oorts.

There are 283 hearts in a 9 oz bag. 

Then, we sorted them by color.

23% White = peppermint
13% Pink = cherry cough syrup and foot
16% Green = Lime?
22% Orange = Orange (the color, not the fruit)
23% Yellow = sorry excuse for banana
6% Purple = Grape
Ranked from most delicious to utterly disgusting, they are: White, Orange, Green, Yellow, Purple, Pink.
We figured that pink is the color that should have the negative sayings on them.

Double whammy. 

We then sorted them by saying. There are roughly 70 sayings represented in the bag. 

Message Count
Unreadable 5
Smily face 2
adam's apple 0
All mine

3

amore 2
Angel 6
anger mgmt 0
ask me 4
baby daddy 0
bad rash 0
Be good 5
Be mine 2
Be true 5
beer goggles 0
book club 6
bridesmaid 0
butter face 0
call me 1
camel toe 0
cock block 0
cock ring 0
conjugal visit 0
cool 2
crotch rot 0
cutie pie 5
dear one 6
diva 2
double bagger 0
dream girl 9
email 6
ex-sex 0
ez lay 0
fax me 5
first kiss 4
for you 2
free mammogram 0
freud 0
gang bang 0
get real 3
ghb 0
go girl 3
got love 6
hi love 6
hot sister 0
how much? 0
how nice 7
hug me 4
I do 5
I hope 2
I will 4
I'm sure 5
in style 1
it's love 5
jewish 0
kiss me 4
let it be 4
let's kiss 4
let's read 2
love 4
love her 5
love him 1
love me 1
love you 2
lover boy 5
marry me 5
milf 0
miss you 3
money shot 0
my baby 3
my girl 2
my ho 0
my love 3
my man 2
my way 1
nice cans 0
nice girl 7
o-face 0
one I love 1
only you 3
pen pel 5
pity date 0
real love 1
recently tested 0
rent due 0
romeo 3
ruff trade 0
six cats 0
so fine 6
stardust 1
sure love 4
sweet talk 7
thank you 3
the father? 0
third wheel 0
time out 1
tlc 4
tres chic 3
true love 3
ur a 10 3
ur a qt 1
ur a star 4
ur kind 5
way 1
webcam 0
whiz kid 6
wise up 8
write me 7
wwjd 0
yes dear 5
you & me 3
you rule 4
you wish 0

We then did some different measurements of a single serving size. Fred used his trusty graphing calculator. 

Cost: 67 cents per 9 oz bag = .24 cents per heart


You could buy 422 million hearts for ONE MILLION DOLLARS! VALUE!

Area: one heart = .28 square inches
511 hearts would fill one square foot.

Length: one heart is .259 inch thick. [0345]
It would take 306,403 hearts stacked face-to-face to cross the Verrazano Narrows bridge.
It spans 7200 feet, the longest span in the US.
We were going to grind up the bag of hearts with a coffee grinder to measure volume, but it started to smell like burning after a while.
Instead, we mailed the powder we had to our favorite senators for valentine's day. How romantic.

How much is inside other stuff? | Salsa | Paper Towels | A Sharpie | Bacon Bits | Dial Complete | A Pumpkin | An Acre | A Keg | Popcorn 
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Feb. 8th, 2004. Photographic Height/Weight Chart | The Weight of Clothing | The Television Commercial Database Terms and Conditions Copyright 2004 Cockeyed.com