Goldschlager is my favorite novelty booze. It is a clear cinnamon liqueur, swirling with hundreds of tiny flakes of real gold. Yes! Real gold, inside the bottle, mixed up, ready to flow into your stomach, small intestines and other digestion-related organs.

The alcohol may affect your equilibrium, giving you a light-headed feeling. The dense gold flakes also affect your equilibrium, delivering a stomach-churning gold "rush". 

Although there are indications that the practice dates back to ancient Egypt, a colorful history of gold and liquor comes out of the California Gold Fever of the 1850s. Successful gold miners would sometimes sprinkle a few flakes of gold into their drinks, living, they imagined, like Incan kings.

It is said that W.K. Kellogg was so impressed with this paydirt tradition that he modified the ritual, insisting his corn flakes be treated the same way.

After his surgery, he began substituting milk for the cinnamon schnapps.

The gold flakes swoosh around like a billionaire's snow-globe, attracting thirsty adults and nesting birds.

Much like champagne, Goldschlager has a reputation as a celebration drink. It is touted by style consultants for its ability to increase one's inner bling.

Gold sells for about $391 per ounce, so it seems pretty crazy so have real gold in a $23 bottle of liquor.

Update: $1,320 per ounce

The real gold is what makes goldschlager magical, but how much is inside? On Tuesday night, we decided to find out.

Brooke, official spokesshaker, got the gold up and moving.

To separate the gold flakes from the liquor, we decided to pour it though a filter. Target was all out of gold filters, so we used a coffee filter.

Jane poured carefully to avoid overflow.

Brooke had several good ideas for keeping the level low.

The filter held back the gold, but slowly let the shlager through. 

Someone had to check to see if the filter was also removing the alcohol.

I selflessly volunteered.

A few minutes later, the entire 750 milliliters of goldschlager was through the filter.

While we waited for the gold flakes to dry, we had some time to dream up new schlagers. It seemed like almost any small, foreign object would make an interesting aperitif...

Googlie-eyeschlager

Coinschlager.

Also considered were hookschlager, legoschlager, diamondschlager, advilschlager, gummischlager, porkschlager, hairschlager and flyschlager.

We were planning on downing shots of the filtered liquor, but Jane misunderstood and managed just one "Pyrex shot" before feeling very sleepy.

By the same token, almost any food could be improved with gold flakes. Gold could add a glittering gleam to soup, chili or ice cream. How about "gold on the bottom" yogurt? Movie popcorn could come with not only real butter, but real gold! Want something to pour on top of your golden brown waffles? How about Mrs. Goldsworth maple syrup? Having a superduper superbowl party? Maybe your gold-encrusted chips would taste better with some Salsa Con Oro!

The gold filter was really taking forever to dry out. We actually tried weighing it wet and comparing that weight to another wet filter, but that introduced far too much error to the measurement. We also realized that even if the filter were dry, it would still contain an unknown amount of sugar.

We carefully scraped the gold flakes onto the digital scale.

Unfortunately, the gold weighed less than a tenth of a gram (0.1g). It wouldn't even register on my scale. 

This thin smear of gold, clumped together on Jane's fingertip, was worth less than $1.38. 

Needless to say, this isn't going to impress the Maybach crowd. For the highest level of luxury, I recommend Goldschlager Double Stuf.

Despite the chemical similarity don't ever mix flakes of lead into cocktails.