...dude. You're such a stud star. Janet Howe, Sacramento

I mean, not "love" like "I'd love to see two cars on fire, flying through the air and having a head-on collision." "Love" is probably too strong a word here. "Perhaps like" would be better. -Mark from Cardhouse.com

...I think you have waaaaaay tooo much time on your hands ; ) -Steven Kenyon, Stockton, CA

I have absolutely nothing useful to say. However, I am terribly impressed and inspired by some of the projects you have undertaken. Congratulations, you are a bookmark. Tim "Snowmit", Canada

Jackie and I love your site and your work! Crime spree, -Julian SF, CA

I've become quite smitten with Cockeyed.com. It's joined a handful of other websites of outstanding content in my little personal bookmarks file. Sarah, Sacramento, CA

I looked at some of your website, and I LOVED it. I'm a search consultant and am looking for a creative services type. The position I'm trying to fill is actually fairly senior, so this one wouldn't be a fit, but if you'd consider relocating to Austin, I'd like to make a case for you. -Betsy Graves Austin, TX

cool site Joe and Poppy, Sacramento, CA

OK, now I have had a chance to at least read about the gold icons -- what a great story! My life is not that exciting... Beth K., USA

i felt so sorry for you...LOL. I hope you enjoyed this message from a chick
from Michigan...keep up the good work, sailor! -Brooke Dyer, Michigan

I showed my father cockeyed.com and he thought it was great. He is teaching a class on web design at the seniors centre and is going to show it to his class - there's nothing too rude, is there? Heh heh. Daniel

Hi, I just wanted to say you have a really cool site. I am glad there are creative people in the world like you. Ciao -Dana Davy, Sacramento, CA

Your site is simply awesome. I saw the article in the back of News & Review today! Congratulations!

Keep in touch, and keep the site up!

-Larry G Pasion
Technical Support - Sacramento
Earthlink Network, Inc.

You are great! We need more people around like you. Michelle, Sacramento, CA

UR A Superstar..Get UR Game On You have found a place on our fridge door. Tanya, Sacramento, CA


I must admit that the only reason I looked for your website was because I thot it might be a channel thru which I would be able to contact you, who might lead me to Brooke. However, after reviewing the e-fruit of your labor, Cockeyed.com, I regret ever meeting Brooke. I'm thoroghly disgusted, appalled, and somewhat embarrassed. I'm reminded once again of how disappointed I am in the nature of man. Furthermore, I would like to remind you that there are certain things Man was never meant to know, such as specific quantities and volume of contents. Are you so vain that you think you can play God, revealing such information with the casual candor of a common balloon sculptor? Well, my friend, the internet is no fairground midway, and you may NOT guess my weight -Joshua Gansworthy, USA


Isn't it great to be both talented and a little loopy? Kara Synhorst, Sacramento, CA

Well I must say I am thoroughly impressed with the site- very entertaining those in the cubicles near me- looked on in curiousity as I laughed hysterically. I very much enjoyed the hot pocket dissection as well as the whole how much is inside? section!!! -Jenny, Earthlink, CA

I already saw that the other day, I love your website, so fun lot to read!! I like the sculpture prank the most! it is brilliant rob!!! -Rhane, Australia

First off, again, your site rules. Carole showed it to me a few months back. I laughed so hard over the hot pocket dissection. The ketchup packet bear was damn slick, too. It's a shame it didn't work quite the way it was supposed to. Get enough people, fireworks and bears together and something's bound to go wrong. your web site kicks ass. I'm not just saying that to get my hat back, Iím serious. Youíre my hero.
-Josh, Sacramento, CA

Very cool! -Lorrie L. Sacramento, CA


after wasting over an hour reading almost everything on your website, http://www.cockeyed.com. There is one thing that I came away with after visiting your site.....WHY???????? But it was so damn funny that I couldn't stop checking everything out. -Scotty Douglass

We are currently reviewing your resume to determine if there is a match between your background and our current opening for a _________. If a good match is found, we will contact you as soon as possible. Colleen Pon, Red Eye Digital, SF, CA

... could you please take down that last picture of me... I look funny! -Sheila Romero, Davis, CA


hey rob, i don't know if you remember me, but i'm that friend of mark's who got purple hairdye all over your nice t-shirt. i just wanted to tell you that your web-site is great! Shannon Wolfe, SF, CA

For some reason... methinks that you should be inducted into popehood with the house of apostles of Eris. Nephilium

you are soooooooo funny! Khuyen Nguyen, Sacramento, CA

You really think I'd feel secure buying gas online from a guy that can't spell opportunity?? are you insane? I mock you!! I think I'll start selling kerosene online just to compete with you!! -John Eaton, Sacramento, CA

what's with the dead bird!!! that's naaaaaaasty -Melinda Abi-Nader

What a wonderful story :) Sounded like a lot of fun... Cats.

Loved the Downtown Plaza pranks. Very nice. Beth Campbell, Sacramento, CA

I went to cockeyed last night and looked at all of your craziness. Thank you for soo much entertainment! :) I especially liked the kitty coffin (I hadn't heard about that one). You are a big freak, you know? -Courtney Witherspoon, SF, CA

Sue was right. Your site is pretty fucking funny. Darren Satake, Oakland, CA

did you happen to see the movie My Best Friend's Wedding? There's a scene in a restaurant and the waiters are wearing giant lobster hands like yours. You're a star!

Jen L Green, Madrid, Spain

Quick question ... do you have any good ideas for getting a site listed on the search engines? I have been fucking listing my mom's site for what seems years and it doesn't seem to get anywhere. Wendy Chisholm

I enjoy your site very much. Andrea Jackson, Austin, TX

I visit you web site on the internet and interested very much, and i am looking forward to know more about your activities, products (types and price list), equipment and market capacity. Also some information about the shaving system and requirements. I ask if you kindly could help me with some information about your company, products, manufacturing and inspection methods. Also, i ask if i can have a catalogue for your products. Thank you for your kind attention. Eng./ Mohamed Melegy , Aswan, Egypt

Please forward to the president of company. We are extremely targeted and will NOT send back just general info by e-mail. Targeted works beautifully...untargeted does not. We need additional details over the phone. -Helen Astor, New Mexico

Thsi leades me to my question. Do you have any suggestion on building something this big our of paper mache? What kind of paste do you recommend. I'm goin to build it durring the winter in my gerage, will the cold affect it? Well, anyway, if you have any advice I'ed be happy to hear it. Thanks. -Justin Wilson, Minneapolis, MN

I must admit, it is truly rad. I've waded through sites dedicated to feet and other stupid stuff, so your site was a refreshing and innovative change of pace. I enjoyed myself thoroughly! The razor blade section cut me up (bad, I know). Amy Litteral, Rancho Cordova, CA

i came across your website when i was looking through my 'favorites' file and found that your work was quite impressive. -jin eui hong world of beauty sacramento, california

Mr. Cockerham is a credit to your organization. I'm sure his capabilities are a result of your training and supervision, but he also has the ability to interact with people that allow him to put that training to good use. As Rob's supervisor, you should take pride in knowing that one of your employees is doing all that you ask of him - and more. I hope you and CWIX acknowledge Mr. Cockerham appropriately. Thank you. Dr. Joe Pisciotte, Wichita, Ks.

I was led to your site totally randomly today after one hell of a depressing day at work .It made me laugh, so, thanks! I especially liked the sculpture replacement stories. Jun Falkenstein, Director, The Tigger Movie Disney, Los Angeles, CA

at first i thought you were just a typical webdude, but now i realize you are a webdude who is
actually funny and interesting! -Al from Usounds.com

I recently visited your website and found it to be extremely humorous and entertaining. -Donna Pritt

I was wonding if you know how to change that start up Windows loading thing, to anoth picture, I've been trying on that too, love your site! It has so much.......useful......umm....yup. so Mail me back when you have time. Nick

I enjoyed your site -- especially the pranks & Elvis -Eric DeRosia, Ph.D. student in marketing, University of Michigan

The reason why you were laughing and passed out is because the propellant mostly used is nitrous oxide commonly known as laughing gas. -Dr. Timir Alan Cursons

Just wanted to say I ran across your website...very cool, especially the razor blade stuff. I myself was employed in a frame shop where I sliced the end of my fingers off (thanks to the blades) and papercut myself on a regular basis. -.De Profundis, Jin the Wicked

This is my daughter's website, she is a pop diva -David Rainwater

I somehow stumbled across your website, and inspiration pulsated through my veins. I'm definatly impressed with your hijinks. For the longest time I've had lots of ideas on time wasting ideas, you know, making sculptures, writing subversive material, painting murals, etc. Whatever my distraught synapses bring me to do. Unfortunatly, I'm much more of a megalomanic than I am a partaker of action. Then I stumbled across your webpage. I now have a 6 foot 2 wireframe redneck drinking a beer in my garage to pay patronage to the residents of my subdivison. I plan on paper-mache'ing the thing tommorow and into the next week. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, but it seemed so ill-concived, and far fetched, I never tried. But then I saw your Elvis wireframe. I went to the local Hechingers and bought me some chicken wire. It's great stuff. Thank god I have callouses
from playing guitar, the stuff is painful. I think when I'm done I'll stick him in my front yard for a while. I just wanted to thank you for the inspiration. I'm glad there's at least one person in the US that's using their creative muscles instead of seeping in ignorence from the television
- Josh Green

killer website :) -Rik Helsen

ROB! Oh man, the guys at work are going to be so jealous! hahaha. i have another question for you- who is Mark? He looks like a philosopher.When I saw the Reddi-Whip page, I said "Those cats got style!" outloud to myself. Then I did a dance, aw yeah! Dayim! Ya HTML skillz gotz me grooving on dis URL till da morning light! Ouch! Dayim! Razor Blades! Dayim! Cockeyed.com the only site i visit now, word-dayim! Listen, bro-ham, you hasta let me
get a section on yo page! I gotsta get one, yeeaw! Rip-roarign hardcore tractor-beam bloodletting! New western explosion, yeeaw! I gonna be driving through Sacramento in two weeks(or tree weeks) and I want to do some 'speriments witcha. Lets see how many humans in the bank at lunchtime. I walk in and say, hey, everybody out! Were doing an esperiment, and you count em as they leave! Yeeaw! Yeeeeaaaww! YEEEAAAAAWWWW![jowls trembling] Or lets take pictures of me destroying stuf with an axe! Yes! Call it 'How Much Hate Is In Eric?' yeaaawww! Is this cool? I dont know my way 'round Sacro-Mento, but I gotsta bust out my maps and my little boy navigators. Dayim! This one long letter! -E.C.

This site is awesome. I spent almost 3 hours here. There needs to be more like this. umm keep up the good work and kickin ass l8er -Snaker

Rob, I love your work. I'd like to interview you for a story I'm doing on Weird Science projects for U.S. News.- Amanda Spake Senior Writer

I don't think I have laughed so hard or often at a webpage since...well let's just say you are funnier than the Onion, a webpage which once caused me to miss work due to abdominal cramping. Seriously. That turkey sign has ruined me. I may never be right. Anyway, it does my heart good to see someone with the guts, and,seemingly friends with enough guts to do the truly weird. The best I have is the day my roommate and I covered every inch of our floor with silver
duct tape in a desperate attempt to get the dog hair out of the rug when our vacuum had broken down. I wish I had taken pictures. Our home suddenly looked like the lair of a James Bond villain :). One technical question you may be able to help me with, however. I need a good translucent plastic to alter the backlit sign of my friend's bookstore on his birthday. Any suggestions?
Keep at it, my friend. -Ryan States

Right, like you know. -Francie

hey i just went to your site. well actually i went to it yesterday. your site is awesome. it's pretty freaking funny. especially the photos in 'how much is inside'. the funniest was the ones where u were messing with the people in the cafe. man was that banana funny!!!it looked better than that damned strawberry that's their official mascot. i'll be looking for more 'how much is inside'
i also think that the graphics u did with bryce and stuff are cool. i can't wait til i can do that kind of stuff. i have corel draw 8.thanks -derek

I'm coming home. Mark Hamilton

I was searching the web for old schools of mine for something to do one day and picked on "The Cafe de la Terrace", the famous pub at my university in Toronto. It wasn't there, but there were plenty of Terrace Cafes and I picked one at random and it happened to be your page on " sculpture pranks" and the fabulous story of the missing strawberry "icon". I really got a laugh out of that and loved the complete coverage, including an "original strawberry" picture. I liked the chicken best. I note that there is a link to another sculpture prank. I look forward to reading it.

-Michael Fisher

You do stupid things like that too? I've done a lot more since then. Scott Christensen (a different Scott Christensen)

Thank you so much for telling us how pleased you are with Reynolds Wrap(R) Aluminum Foil. We are always happy to hear from our consumers. Receiving comments from our consumers serves an important role in determining if our products are meeting the high standards we set for them.Thank you for taking the time to express your approval of our product. We appreciate your continued support of Reynolds consumer products. If we may be of assistance in the future, please let us know. -Phyllis, The Reynolds Kitchens

I am VERY familiar with the phrase "too much time on your hands." I think I've come to wear it like a badge of honor. My response is usually - If I spent my free time watching Cosby reruns would find that more acceptable? Steve from www.stetmagazine.com.

You know, I used to really like Easy Cheese, but today I saw your site and I think it's been ruined for me forever. It's nice to look at inlittle amounts, but displaying it all in a huge pile is disgusting! I'm surprized Nabisco hasn't filed a law suit against you for de-faming their product. Be carefull about dispensing mass quantities of processed food- people can get hurt. I figured you'd really kill somebody for the blood page. I mean, nobody important, but maybe they would let you have a federal prisoner or something. I've written letters to the government and they always send me back lots of information, maybe if you wrote them a letter telling they you're practically a scientist and you aren't asking for a grant, just a human being, they'd help you out. After all, they've got lots of people they need to get rid of. -Kim, SE Kansas


Last updated March 13, 2000
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