It is not easy to think of something clever or unique to add to the bad things list. If you are a casual reader of the Bad things list, it is probably best if you don't try to add something right away. Bide your time. Sooner or later something unusual and bad will happen to you or someone you know, and you will have some good material for the list.

When adding a bad thing:

please read through the list before you add a bad thing. I have erased "you catch your boyfriend cheating with your best friend" 4 times.
Please keep the value under 1580 unless the thing is worse than getting crucified upside down. I will erase it. Hint: nothing involving your cat's health is worse than being crucified.
Please do not assign things a negative value, although that was funny the first time.
It is much easier for me to erase entries than it is to edit the dolor value, so please place it at an equitable position within the list, so that it doesn't get erased.
Please do not put in things that are happening to OTHER people, like "your only daughter gets hit by a car". That is very bad, but it is redundant. Every SINGLE thing on this list could apply to your daughter, and the list is already pretty long.
Don't add a 3-part bad odyssey, like, "you stub your toe, then your ex-wife calls, then you have to eat spinach". That isn't technically a "bad thing", although that would suck.
Don't put in bad things that are trying to out-gross someone else. I erase most of the things 5th graders put in that are poo-poo, pee-pee, or fart-centric.
No fantastical bad things that would ONLY happen in hell or a horrible nightmare. There are plenty of bad things that really can happen. This is the list of those things.
Don't try to include every possible permutation of a bad thing, like "you sit in a freshly-painted chair, and you are wearing imported silk pants", unless you have a genuinely funny variety.
Grammar and spelling count. Use your email program to check spelling with the F7 key
No more crucifixion entries, i.e. rotating cross, iron cross, cross above lava pit, etc.
Please don't put in parenthetical comments within the submission i.e. (this happened to my mom's daughter, REALLY!!!!).
Also, don't put apostrophes in, even when they are grammatically important. Leave out the apostrophes in 's and 't. You can blame my slap-dash programming for this shortcoming. If you know how to avoid this problem in php, please write me.
click on the second e in "proceed" below to add a bad thing. This is to ensure that you actually read these instructions.

Please don't add poorly-conceived bad-things

Bad Things That Were Erased	Reason for Erasure
Leaving a cup of soda for like 10 minutes returning and drinking it only to find a cigarette butt/ bug in it in mid gulp	This was already on the list
all of your orifices get filled with liquid nitrogen until you fall and shatter	Too fantastical
Going to a Chinese Restaurant and finding out halfway through your deep fried icecream desert, that it is actually deepfried dog shit.	spelling errors, racism, plus it was placed worse than death.
Living in San Diego	That isn't really something that "happens to you", and it certainly isn't worse than "getting burns over 60% of your body"
Youre a female pizza delivery driver and the customers kids call you the pizza man	This is pretty good, but placed worse than being boiled in oil, I had to erase it.
You roll your car on an icy road with an open container of straight pins on the seat next to you. (This happened to me)	parenthetical comments (like this)
You get your fingernail broke by sticking a power cord onto your hard drive, and cut you finger on the inner rim of the computer case the same day (someone say that installing a hard disk is harmless!).	two part story, and parenthetical comments (like this)

If you want to search through the list quickly, use ctrl-f or the edit function of your browser to find keywords on the bad things list.
Oh yeah, and I think the ENTER key submits the whole form, so don't touch that key until you are done filling out the form.

proce e d to adding a bad thing form back to cockeyed.com home page

When adding a bad thing:

Thanks!