Saving your vision requires a bit of planning, but materials are available all over the place.

For example, one morning, before going about making donuts in the deep fat fryer, I found myself sans eye-protection.

I rifled through the kitchen supplies and found my solution next to the paper napkins: Plastic spoons!

By heating the transparent spoons on the stovetop, I was able so bend, cut, shape and cajole two useless spoons into some ad hoc socket-savers!

It is a sophisticated look, allowing me to shield my delicate eyes from hot grease.

They also allow me to shovel lime sherbet into my face twice as fast.

Oh, you don't have any plastic spoons? Well, sure, they end up in landfills, but they are so cheap! And you only use them once, so they are always clean and shiny!

Oh brother. Ok, I guess even Earth Firsters deserve eye protection. 

How about you rummage through your recycle bin for one of these 2-liter bottles?

Just remove the label and slice off the top and bottom to get to the valuable midsection. It will tend to curl up on you, so wear gloves if you don't want to get bitten.

Normally, I'd pin down a fine hide like this to get it nice and flat, but today, that coil action is going to help us.

Snap the curly sheet onto your face, and let it grab on.

You are now protected!

By cutting a nose notch and ear arms, you've transformed that soda bottle into some very hip looking wrap-around safety goggles!

These goggles are extra wide and extra thick. They are also available in Sprite Green.

Yessir, I've learned my lesson when it comes to eye protection: It would really suck to screw up your eyes, even if you got to look like a pirate all the time.

Thank you.