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| When sitting and waiting to make a left turn at a light or in a turning lane, keep your car aimed straight. If you turn your wheels ahead of time, someone rear-ending your car will push you into oncoming traffic. Keeping your car aimed straight could save your life.
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| Lawrence Welk was not from Estonia, or some other Balkan country. Lawrence Welk is from North Dakota, and that is how people from North Dakota actually talk! I was hornswoggled when I realized he was an American! |
| I realized in the shower once that "body wash" is just shampoo. Handy when you're out of shampoo.
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| Too lazy to water your cactus? Keep it in the bathroom. The humidity from your showers will keep it alive for years. |
| When you first meet a girl and she tells you she loves something that you love (i.e. Star Wars, football, etc...) she means she likes it. If she says she likes it, it means she tolerates it. If she says she doesn't mind it, she actually hates it. |
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bruises make the flesh sweeter (Editor's note: That is creepy, but so strikingly original, I left it in.) |
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Ctr + x = cut The less mouse the better sometimes.
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| Women never stop buying cushions
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| If you want the truth, ask a 4 year old. They have no filter. Be prepared, they can be brutal.
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| When making a root beer float, put the soda first. This greatly reduces fizzing when the ice cream is added thereto and allows you to get a proper ratio of soda to ice cream in a much faster time.
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| Damp coffee grounds make a great hand cleanser for cleaning up after painting or working on a car. The combination of oil, grit, and moisture does a great job and leaves your hands smelling great! Just do it over the sink, OK? |
| When you don't eat you are "fasting". So the first meal of the day, you are breaking your fast. Hence - breakfast. I'll be darned.
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| The Goodyear logo is an Icarus foot. Similar to previous posts about logo discovery, this always looked like some kind of face with a beard when I was a kid and then at some point it occurred to me that it was really a foot. |
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If you want people to buy your product, you have to: 1) create it 2) make it available
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You brake before the turn and accelerate out, not the other way around. Hit the brake, get to a speed where you can make the turn, then turn, and hit the gas after you've started to turn. Staying on the brake any past half way just makes you look like a tool to the drivers behind you who are wondering why you came to a complete stop to pull into a McDonalds.
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| Right-clicking in Solitaire does so much more than double-clicking ever dreamed |
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Never hold anything by the lid, especially pickle jars.
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Jello is from hooves.
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The names Wal-Mart, K-Mart, JC Penney, Montgomery Ward, and other similarly named stores are singular, not plural. It is not "Wal-Mart's," "K-Mart's" "Montgomery Wards" or "JC Penney's."
(Editor's Note: I noticed this at Lucky Supermarkets! Everyone called it
"Lucky's". However, Macy's is Macy's. RIP Lucky Supermarkets.)
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| In any job, always try to situate your computer so the screen faces away from passersby. This way, you can read blogs and fuck around and no one will know.
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| you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar |
| When you're on the phone with customer service and you can't get the help you need, don't get mad; persist politely and try to figure out a way to get them to transfer you to somebody else. It may take four or five tries but eventually you will find an employee who is actually dedicated to getting you the help you need. When you find him/her, beg, plead or barter for his direct line. And thank him profusely.
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| When you work in a bureaucracy, accuracy is of ultimate importance. I've worked at a school and at another gov't job for years, and making any changes or purchases always takes months. If you get something wrong it will set you back even further. When it takes 3 months for your order to come in, and when it does it's wrong, meaning you have to wait ANOTHER 3 months, you realize that getting it right is crucial. My attention to detail is now as strong as it can be, and it makes everything flow as easily as possible. That's a thing I figured out. Thanks, Jennie |
| When dogs scoot themselves across the carpet, it's because they have an impacted anal gland. |
| If you don't want to be bothered while you're at your parent's house and at the computer, put the headphones on. You don't need to be listening to anything per say, but they don't have to know that!
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You don't always have to drink until you are drunk.
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some people cannot grow hair past a certain length because at one point in its cycle, the hair dies and falls out. then new hair comes in, but it can only grow to the same length.
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Hoisin sauce, soy sauce, sugar, and a little cornstarch makes a great sauce for baked chicken.
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"You all" is actually "y'all," not "ya'll." |
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When you don't have any nail polish remover, paint a clear coat on your nails and wipe it off immediately with a Kleenex.
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The best brownie mix is this: Mix one box of brownie mix according to the instructions. Pour it in the pan. Place a layer of Symphony bars on top. Mix another box of brownie mix. Pour it on top of the Symphony bars. Bake for 40 minutes at 350. Delicious. |
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I was 12 years old when I discovered the shocking truth that supermarkets put the damaged goods at the edge of the shelf so people who are not paying enough attention will grab and buy them. You know, dinged cans, bent boxes. My mom pointed this out to me and I felt totally disappointed in the honesty of humanity.
(Editor's Note: I believe these damaged packages end up at
the edge of the shelf because no one wants them, and the stockers keep
back-filling the shelf with new items.)
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June 15th, 2006