Things I Figured Out: Reader Submissions.

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I figured out that if you click the "submit" button without typing anything in the box, it'll get you to where you can read comments on Rob's entries without forcing you to use your own brain power.

 

If you are pouring all of the liquid from a container with a small opening (like putting a entire gallon of milk into, say...a bucket) it will go much faster if you punch a hole in the bottom of the container as it pours!

 

The secret to cooking pancakes is to let the griddle get hot enough before pouring your first batch. Wait until the griddle is hot enough that a few drops of water flicked onto it will sizzle and dance. Pancakes are ready to flip when their edges look dry and their surfaces develop air bubbles. Each successive batch takes less time to cook as the griddle continues to get hotter. And -- most importantly -- pancakes from scratch are so damn easy (and taste so much better) that there is absolutely no excuse to use a mix at all.

Night vision goggles are green because more shades of green can be seen than any other color since the color green is in the middle of the visible spectrum.
I grew up in Casper, Wyoming where the main TV channel was KTWO, and the station often used the short-hand K2. On our TV set, we would watch it on Channel 2. It wasn't until the 8th grade did I realize that the station's call letters spelled out the word two. How clever (the station, not me)!

 

Red coloring is usually made from tiny powered critters. Hence people having allergic reactions to red #4, etc. (Ed. Note: Check Snopes)

 

My favorite thing I figured out applies to your candles. Sometime in chemistry class talking about oxygenation releasing heat that put electrons into higher orbit, I remembered from physics that electrons decaying into lower orbits emit photons of light. Suddenly I realized what a flame is. Just cooling oxygenation reactions! How simple!

 

You can use a cut lemon to get blood out from under your fingernails.

 

In the movie 'Risky Business' (from 1983), after Tom Cruise dumps the Porsche into the lake and he's standing in the dealership, the mechanic says "Alright - who's the u-boat commander?" It occurred to me last year (2005) that the car is German... u-boat was German submarine... up until that time, I just took it as a reference to a submarine - not a German one in particular. Man I felt stupid.

 

When people are on talk shows, the host and guest both already know what is going to be talked about. That changed the way I watch those shows.

 

on those yellow and black school crossing signs it is a girl and a boy holding a book crossing the street, NOT a girl and her mother holding a purse!

 

Ivory Soap isn't "So pure it floats". So what that it's 99.44% pure. Purity has *NOTHING* to do with BOUYANCY! Pure lead doesn't float, does it? What about pure iron?

 

I realized that Kobe Beef are raised in the traiditional Japanese Kobe way.

 

If you install double-glazed windows on the southern, western, or even the eastern side of your house the sun will cause condensation to form in between the panes, which will then dry and leave mineral deposits, making your window appear filthy no matter how many times you clean them. Just leave your original windows in. If your concerned with energy conservation then install storm windows like they used to do.

It is better and tastier to just eat the pez and not bother putting it in the dispenser.
You can tell a little kid an outrageous lie and they'll still believe you.
TV dinners are cheap but they are delicious and make for a good breakfast.

 


When telling a joke or a story and you sense that it is about to flame out, don't be afraid to jump ship and stop the story mid-stream. Some people may insist for you to continue, but they will always be dissapointed and you can say, "Now you see why I stopped." It's kind of like a safety net.

 

If you hate stuffy noses as much as I do, here is a temporary way to get rid of them: Lie on your side opposite whichever nostril is stuffed up. Prop your head up with your hand just above your ear, elbow directly below it, and looking slightly upwards and lay there for a moment, breathing deeply. The mucas will drain out and you will have INSTANT relief, which is the best kind of relief.

 

When you're driving, if that left turn lane is a quarter mile long, or a pain, keep your eyes open! Often going a block ahead and making three right turns, or entering a gas station/fast food parking lot on the right on the corner of the intersection, and then making another right onto the road you were trying to turn left onto in the first place will save you loads of time, as well as keep that left turn line much shorter.

 

When I first moved to Texas and started high school, I heard other students say, "I had to park out in BFE today." I had only heard it in reference to parking and I just assumed that it was the remote part of the parking lot, the part where the band happened to practice. So I just assumed that BFE meant, "Band Formation Exercise" Zone or something like that... A year or so later I heard the full term used without the abbreviation and felt mighty stupid. (Ed. Note: To Clarify, BFE is short for Butt-Fuck Egypt. i.e. the middle of nowhere. I can't believe I just typed that into an Editor's Note).

 

everyone uses the "lady burned by hot coffee vs. mcdonalds" as an example of a frivilous lawsuit. but that is just mcdonalds propaganda. the mcdonalds coffee was over 50 degrees hotter than it should have been, and caused 3rd degree burns on the inside of her thighs and groin area that required skin grafts. give the poor lady a break.

 

Once you know that meat is muscle, you're on your way to good eating: barely-used muscle is tender and fatty, while commonly-used muscles are tough, flavorful, and lean. (Lean muscle can mean dry meat, so this sort of thing can dictate the appropriate cooking method.) Muscles that make large movements will have less fat-marbling than muscles that do the same amount of work over a shorter distance. (IIRC.) Finally, since you know that meat is muscle, and muscles are made of tough fibers, you know that meat is made of tough fibers that can be hard to cut with your teeth. That's why you slice meat across the fibers (aka the grain) instead of along them, or else cook it (braise, stew, or barbecue) until the fibers have broken down.
not everything that smells like lemons tastes like lemons

 

You're supposed to leave ONE CAR LENGTH in front of you for every 10 MPH of velocity. This means that, if driving at 85 MPH on the freeway, you should have 8 and a half car lengths between your car and the preceding car, not just 3 (like most do). 

 

In Winnie-the-Pooh:
Kanga, and her son, Roo.
Kangaroo.
Took me 18 years.

 

When 'Don't Walk' starts flashing when you're crossing the street, it actually means 'You've got enough time to start crossing and not get hit by a car, but you had better move your ass!' Additionally, if you don't move as fast as motorists would like, cars will definately not hit you. They won't like it, but they won't hit you.

 

When a fairly big lake freezes in a cold climate eventually a big ridge of ice will heave up in the middle. When I was young, I always thought that it was because ice expands when it freezes, it was this special property of H20 that makes it heave up. 
But it turns out that it is the fact that ice shrinks as gets colder (below 0c) and expands as it gets warmer, just like every other substance, that does it. When it shrinks on really cold nights, it pulls apart and makes cracks; water from the lake wells up into the cracks and freezes. Later, on a warmer day, the ice expands again, and with the new surface area, needs to heave up.
Of course, it is the fact that water expands when it freezes, and is therefore less dense than water, that keeps ice floating in the first place.

 

If you want your t-shirts with printing on them to last longer, turn them inside-out before washing and drying them. It keeps the print from rubbing against the (very hot) metal sides of the drying drum.
Farts are flammable

 

When I was in 7th grade, my Science teacher explained how a man's penis becomes erect in order to have intercourse. This cleared up quite a misconception for me, being a girl, as I had no idea a man's penis could actually move around. I thought people had to do it face to foot or something...

 

People treat you with more respect when you are wearing a suit.

 

That 'Kleenex' is a brand name, not the official noun for facial tissues. Same thing with Band-Aids/bandages.

 

When you draw on a white board by accident with a permanent marker, you can erase it buy colouring over it with a normal dry-erase marker. Then you just erase as normal. It's like magic and saves you a tonne on white boards.

 

Drowned is not present tense. Some kid drowned. He never "drowneded." Drown is present. And after typing that damn word four times, I figured out that drown is a funny word.

 

Dennis Haysbert (President Palmer from 24) also played Sorano from the MAJOR LEAGUE series

 


If have chocolate cake mix, add once less egg for delicious brownies instead

 

Leaving your mouth open while putting on mascara really does help because if you remind yourelf to close your mouth it will just distract you and result in a an eyepoke

 

You can cook odd things (ie S'mores) with a toaster by sitting them on the top, over the slots.

 

When dressing for cold weather, put on your scarf or neckwarmer before you put on your coat. And even if your coat has a hood, you should still wear a toque.

 

You can't smoke in a moshpit.

 

"Maintenant" means now, but "main tenant" means holding hand. (Ed. Note: French)

 

The rubber knee patches on wetsuits are there so if you have to climb onto something in the water, like a surfboard or a kayak, you can gain more purchase.

 

Cycling gloves have terrycloth on them so you can wipe your nose on them - the fuzziness is more absorbant than the lycra the rest of the glove is made of.

 

Pop tastes sweeter once it's gone flat.

 

Duct tape is not actually used for duct-work because it melts at temperatures required for heating.

The Atomic Symbol for Lead is Pb because it comes from the Latin "Plumbium". The modern word "plumbing" comes from the latin name for lead, because the romans used lead to make pipes.

 

Being alone is better than being an unhappy relationship.

 

Nobody owns money.

 

Vacuum cleaners don't suck, because there's no such thing as suction. Rather, things fly into the hepa filter because the atmosphere's pressure is greater than the pressure inside the vacuum itself.

 

The thinner the space between two pieces of plastic that you are trying to super-glue together, the better the mend will be.

 

When you feel "butterflies in your stomach", there aren't actual instects inside you! In reality, the blood is leaving the stomach and going to your muscles because of your natural fight-or-flight response!

 

The song Moondance by Van Morrison is not about dancing. (Lyrics).

 

Between 5th and 6th grade, you do not automatically receive admission to Hogwarts just because you read Harry Potter.

 

I remember realizing a couple hours after I graduated from college that I didn't have it all figured out. Even toward the end of my final semester I thought everything would kind of click and I'd know exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and how to achieve it. Now I know that nobody knows it all, but I'm jealous of people who know exactly what they want to do and are working toward that goal.

 

You know those commercial for Kay Jewelers and how they always sing "every kiss begins with Kay" at the end? Every kiss does, because kiss starts with a "k".

 

The Windows key + the M key will minimize all the open browser windows at once.
The F5 key will refresh a browser window (helpful for watching ebay auctions!)
In an e-mail, pressing the F7 key will start the spell checker.

 

Always promise less, and deliver more. For instance, if you think you can deliver something in 5 hours, promise it will be done in 8 hours. If something goes wrong and it takes 6 hours, they will be happy, it took 2 less than expected, as opposed to 1 more than expected.

 

When acorns are put in the microwave, they shoot steam, spin, and whistle. Also, they stink up your microwave and make everything you put into it for a while taste and smell like burnt acorns. It's gross and cool.

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June 15th, 2006 

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