Even after 4 dozen hot dogs, the sturdy nozzle provided professional results.

Jane and I were actually set to perform this experiment with Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters on the MTV2 set of 24 hours of Foo. However, the experimental wieners had been double-booked in a hot dog eating contest, and the mustard test was shelved.

Here is a sepia-toned olde tyme image of that historical day.

The afternoon wore on, and Jane continued shaking and squeezing. After months of waiting, we were close to finally having our answer!

As the number of mustarded dogs passed 70, we reached the end of our hot dog buns! Damn!!

I immediately broke into open sobbing, but Jane soldiered on, moving to our reserve sheet of pre-bun dogs.

With a Jim Carrey soundtrack, the mustard bottle gave its final spray of wiener icing.

The task was finished and we had an answer! The bottle of mustard was enough for 80 hot dogs!

Hooray! That is an average of 5 grams of mustard per hot dog.

By the end of the experiment, Everyone was starving for hot dogs! They smelled delicious.

As it turned out, everyone liked their hot dogs prepared a little differently, so they each required a personal touch before they made it into our stomachs.

Eric added sweet relish, Meghan made hers into a little sandwich. Stacy rinsed her hot dog carefully to remove impurities, and I ate mine without the peel. Hot dogs, hot dogs, hot dogs! Is there a finer food on the planet?!

Jane had her own idea for dinner: Gardenburgers.

I wonder if she knows what they put in those things!

We ate our fill of hot dogs, but there were still dozens of them left over. Unsure what to do with them, I boxed them up and waited for inspiration to strike.

Within two weeks, I had an idea! I decided ship them to San Francisco's SBC ballpark, where hot dogs are priced at a premium.

At the ballpark, these 64 hot dogs would sell for $288.

I hope they like mustard!