Just before Halloween, I got the idea to post a funny new auction on ebay: a "flat screen".

I rushed to Home Depot to buy a window screen. I was practically skipping through the aisles, excited about the absurdity of it, when I realized that they don't sell window screens there, you have to have them custom made.

After Halloween, I got around to ordering one, from Sierra Window Coverings in Sacramento. The price was $18. It would take 2 days, they said, but then called me later with a different story:

"Mr. Cockerham, this is Gene from Sierra Window Coverings. When I told you the screen would be done Friday, I lied. It is done right now."

 
 

I picked it up at lunch, took photos with Sarah the next night, and posted it on November 7th.

The auction was a pretty big hit, attracting a lot of views and a number of emails. 

 

Nov. 7, 2003,

I am wondering if your flat screen is compatible with my custom 3X5 inch combination plastic fly swatter/High-Power Amplified Indoor TV Antenna. Or, should I be looking for an older model?

Thanks for the what's up,

~gail

  
  Ha ha! I THINK so, but I'll have to check with my TERMINEX technical guy.

-Rob
Nov. 8, 2003,

is this screen used over a window to keep bugs out or is it a screen used to project onto?

-ifitzgot-wheels

  
  the kind for bugs.

-Rob
Nov. 8, 2003

what is dpi resolution aspect?

kevin

  
  The mesh on the screen is pretty tight, one thread per 16th inch. (32 thread count).

-Rob
Nov. 10, 2003,

Hi,

Is there anything wrong with this product? Will there be a need for an additional investment after purchase?

Thx, phardy

 

  
  Well, it is 18" by 32", so if you don't have a window that big, you won't really be able to use it.

It is an insect screen for a window.

-Rob
Nov. 12, 2003,

hello

You mean to tell me that if I outbid everyone else I will get a 361/2 " TV "new" foctional and all for that price.

I was also wondering aprox. how long would it take for delivery in Canada, Ottawa, Ontario.

Thanks

Sly

 

  
  No. It is not a television. It is a screen. like for keeping flies out of your window.

-Rob
Nov. 12, 2003,

You are selling a screen for your windows right?? Why the remote control pictured????

-TC Customize

 

  
  I thought it was funny that we use the term "flat screen" for television sets now, so I thought I would make a funny auction with a regular window screen.

I always try to get a gal in the photo, even though she doesn't have anything to do with the screen.

Thanks for writing!

-Rob Cockerham Cockeyed.com
Nov. 12, 2003

Please cancel my bids on this item. Yes, it's a good joke, but your ad misled me into placing this bid.

Thank you,

Phil Ejercito

 

  
  Ok. No problem.

Did the photos load properly?

-Rob
How many lines of resolution does this have. Is 1080i compatible?

DMC

  
  It is a screen for a window, to keep insects out when the glass is up.

There are about 16 wires per inch.

Thanks for writing!

 -Rob
Nov. 12, 2003,

Thanks for the info. boy am I a sucker!! (grin)

Doria

God Bless America

  
   
Nov. 13, 2003,

if the flat screen has no unsightly cords how does it hook up to cable or a playstation 2?

-George Koay

  
   

It can't. It is just a flat screen, like the kind that keeps bugs out of the house when the windows are open.

-Rob
Nov. 13, 2003,

Well, I must compliment you *snicker* on your VERY attractive *stifle* Flat screen TV *wink wink nudge nudge*.

It just goes to prove my point that humanity is stupid. When I'm sending this, the bidding is at $105. 105! I can't believe that many people have fallen for it, (or REALLY want a screen for their windows for some reason).

Well, the best part is that they can't do anything against you! It doesn't SAY that it's anything BUT a screen, hmm?

Well, kudos to you, and good job. Hope you make a mint off of that sucker!

- Richard the Gamer

  
   
Nov. 14, 2003

i was wondering if i could withdraw my bid because i thought that this was a flat screen TV and i did not know it was for stopping bugs...... because that hole thing about it goes well with a dvd player made me think that it has to be a flat screen tv :S sorry but i would realy appreciate it if i could just withdraw my bid

thank you

  
   
Nov. 14, 2003

Dear stylograph,
-------- (------------------------- BC Canada) has agreed to purchase the following eBay item on Nov-14-03 01:32:30 PST

 

  
   
Nov. 14, 2003

LMFAO!!!! This is genious! $89.15 shipping to the UK? T-shape Universal Remote? hahahaha

-wyterabit

 

  
   
Nov. 17, 2003,

I'm interested in a larger flat screen. Do you have any others in stock? Say, the size of a storm door? Now, that's the flat screen for me!

-Jill Jillery
   
Nov. 18, 2003,
I can not believe people are so stupid. There is definitely a process of natural selection going on here. This is a real crack up. Keep up the good work. 


Ryan

  
   
Nov. 19, 2003,

Someone actually purchased your window screen for $100 bucks!?

Damn dude... hmmm... however your advertisement is false... your add does "imply" that it is a TV screen and not a window screen... although it is painfully obvious that it is a window screen... 

Hope ya don't end up in small claims court for that one! :)

-N		  
   
Nov. 19, 2003,
Why are you trying to deceive people? Don't say you aren't either. I like the way you have some lady hold a remote up to a screen. What a DA!

-robray25

  
   
Rob,

Did your Flat Screen auction get pulled from eBay?
I was trying to show it to a buddy, but couldn't find it?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Cliff Lee DNRC -o		  
   
Dec. 5th, 2003,
Are you kidding? Did this guy actually pay for a window screen. I must say I got a good laugh on this.

Jay J.

  
   
Dec 13, 2003,

Dear Robert Cockerham (rob@cockeyed.com),

We appreciate that you chose eBay to list the following item(s): 2358379365 Awesome 36½ inch Flat Screen - pule

However, your listing(s) was in violation of Section 9 of our User Agreement.....

(ebay cancellation notice)

  
   

I thought I put in enough photos to show without a doubt that it was a window screen, but the bright woven wire actually ended up looking a little like glass in one of the photos. The winning bidder was rather embarrassed, and actually figured it out before the auction ended, blaming it on his younger brother.

I was only trying to entertain.

I don't know why ebay pulled the auction after the auction was over.

 

copy of the flat screen auction | other dorky auctions | home | contact Rob  December, 2003.  

  • Photographic Height/Weight Chart
  • The Weight of Clothing
    • Terms and Conditions Copyright 2003 Cockeyed.com