Update January 8, 2005: SOLD OUT
It is here! The 2005 Cockeyed.com calendar.
A big, glossy, 13-month calendar for 2005, with photos from the Cockeyed.com favorites: How Much is Inside, Incredible Stuff, Pranks and Science Club.
what these brave folks are reporting:
Hi Rob & fellow Cockeyed.com fans,
I got my 2005 cockeyed.com calendar in the mail this week and it is
UTTERLY FANTASTIC. I can't wait for January. Thank you!
Also, I just saw your announcement - congratulations! Very exciting news.
Your loyal fan,
Wow, this is the only thing in the world better than a Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich!!!!!!!
Ever since I've received my cockeyed.com calendar I've slept for 3 hours and avoided all the chores I was planning to do!
My own Cockeyed.com 2005+1/12 calendar!
I was so excited!, I dough out lots of ! to use!
I immediately did a study to find out how many days were inside.
I took my scale and set it out at 0001 (12:01am) and checked it at 2400
a day weighs 0 pounds. so that did not work, I then opened the calendar
and started to count days
I found that it was divided into 14 sections, filled with photos and
names. Each section was titled with a name.
Each section was further divided into blocks ranging from 28 to 31,
with an average 30.4285714 blocks per section
While doing the research I found that a NEW MONTH has been added! I
can't wait till the 13th of Elements, it's "Al" day.
I think it's a national holiday.
I'm going to celebrate it by making a flag of aluminum foil and flying
My life is now complete!
A pleasant surprise awaited me in my tiny mailbox this evening - a rolled up
2005 Cockeyed Wall Calendar! (Thanks Mailman!) After chewing through the
industrial-strength shrink-wrap (nice touch) I was able to flatten it out
nicely. And what a calendar it is. Chock full of the fun photography I've
come to love and expect from your fabulous web site. And my name and
birthday are entirely correct! In fact, I suspect that there are no typos
at all. Great job.
PS: Looking forward to the Women of Cockeyed.com 2006 calendar!
I think the best part about the calendar is that I'll be living in
the future, while my non-Cockeyed-aware friends have to slog through the
present. When they flip their calendar page after March, they'll have
to slog through April, while I'll be living in August! Good Friday and
Holy Thursday? They come on Thursday and Wednesday respectively, thanks
to the crack staff at Cockeyed.com! Plus, I'll get to celebrate
Anti-Valentine's day twice. It's a four-day weekend on Memorial Day,
because I'll be celebrating on a Tuesday! The calendar is a steal at
twice the price!
Sadly, April rears its ugly head between July and September. And to all
those lucky people who have January birthdays and get mentioned twice in
the Cockeyed.com 2005 calendar (you know who you are. So do I!)? Just
wait until 2006, when I'm sure Rob will give September its due.
Always a fan,
The calendar is absolute perfection. I will be sure to hang it in a spacious area of my house so there won't be any fire hazards as people crowd around it to stare in awe.
Thank you for sharing your creativity, and congratulations on your big announcement!
I just received my 2005 Cockeyed calendar, and let me tell you! What a treasure trove you've packed into this little delight. First, and of primary interest to the layman, it contains not 20%, not 50%, not 80%, 90% or even 99%, but 100% of the months, weeks and days contained in the year. And a lovely Cockeyed.com pictures on each page, to boot! All of this is amazing in and of itself... but then the special features kick in!
You've provided me to two (Stainless steel?) paper retention devices to eliminate burdensome recollation of the pages at the end of each month. Second, you've provided a brief personal letter (and I promise, I'll get you the extra money as soon as I get paid... there's no need to talk about knee caps here, really, there isn't). And the coup de grace: a short form aperiodic table of the elements!
As a chemist, this will be an invaluable tool to me. No more searching for that one special elements out of a confusing mix of over 116 rarely used elements, spaced in strange clumps about the page. No! The short form aperiodic table of the elements lists only the 30 most commonly referenced elements (not a commercial claim) in an easy sequential fashion. I tell you, Rob, with this table of the elements (and your calendar) in hand, my career will be revolutionized!
Thank you Rob Cockerham, your product has made a humble development chemist very happy.
Rob, what can I say. I got my Calendar yesterday, and even before I opened the manila envelope, I was floored! I opened it to find a note from you, Signed!! This was great, but then I saw the Calendar, the collage of pictures on the front, the Cockeyed.com Logo making itself known! The Spring shoes on the back. This was one bad ass Wall Calendar!! I careful went to looking at all the months, all the birthdays, everything!!
So I have to say, this Calendar is the most bad ass Wall Calendar in the history of Wall Calendars!
My wife and son are pleased that their birthdays are on the calendars - good
work Mr. C.
Excellent calendar with great stuff on every month. I like the random
non-event days like "Great Friday" and such.
"I received my calendar on Monday, and wasn't planning to write to you.
Today, (Wednesday) my worst horse won a race for the first time this year!!
My future ex-wife called me and said she wanted a "simple and quick
divorce", saying I get to keep the house and condo at the beach!! Wow, how
do you explain something like that? I'm ordering 10 more of these
magical-voodoo good luck calendars as soon as I can.
I won't even mention (much) the great free extras... I've always wondered
what the specific gravity of helium was!! Thanks again,
I was so exicted when I got your calendar in the mail!!!! The most frustrating part about the calendar was the plastic. Man o man, it took me a long time to open it!!! I felt too lazy to go find scissors. Eventually I came up with the brilliant idea of using the butterfly closure on the envelope to open it!! I finally broke through the plastic, and it made my day!!!! My favorite month is the month of Elements!!! I can't wait for the 2006 calendar!! Awesome job!!!
Hola, Rob and staff!
I just recieved my calendar and I love it!! My back no longer hurts, my liver spots have disappeared and I stopped taking my medication. And it's all due to your calendar!! Thanks again and felicidades on your girlfriends preganancy. You'll now have another assistant to help you with your cause. I can see it now, "How much poop can a baby crap out in a week?"
Got the calendar in the mail after losing $$ in Las Vegas and let me tell you that it turned my losing day into a winner day!!! I am going to try to use this calendar to pick up some fine women in central Illinois. I will keep you posted on my successes / failures on this project.
I was so excited when I checked my mail this afternoon... Yes, that's
right, my cellphone provider had sent me a free mini frisbee to
advertise some promotion or something. It was really exciting, I
immediately tore the celophane off it and threw it across the small
lobby of my apartment building. Unfortunately it proceeded to break a
window just as the building manager got out of the lift.
Thankfully I quickly spun around to continue looking in my mailbox and
found the calendar I ordered from you with a stolen credit card number I
got off a Russian porn site. With me being clearly so engrossed in my
'exciting mail' the building manager seemed to overlook me as a suspect
for the broken window and instead wandered off muttering something about
the damn kids.
So while the frisbee was fun for a few moments, it is clear that this
calendar will server me well for years (or months) to come.
P.S. You aren't thinking of selling mini frisbee's anytime soon are you?
P.P.S. Don't sell anymore to any New Zealanders, I want to be special.
Oh yeah... might as well praise the 2005 Calendar I got! -->
This calendar is something to behold! Many of my friends broke down in
tears upon seeing it, not unlike the reaction someone might have upon
seeing a statue of the Virgin Mary miraculously crying. Thanks Rob,
for bringing tears of joy to our eyes.
PS, the calendar is awesome! I don't think I'll ever need another calendar
or periodic table again! Oh, and the donut sticker rocks. Keep the good
This is my third and last e-mail to you. Well, I actually can't say that I don't know that I won't again, but tentatively it is. Anywho, I received my calendar, and it rocks harder than my epileptic grandmother. But that is not why I am writing. I opened up the calendar to see if you really did put my name in there, and there it was.
But lo and behold, like a slice of sunshine with cheese on the paper plate that is my life, I did spy that I share a day of birth with none other than the man himself: Rob Cockerham.
Yes, we were both born in between St. Joseph's day and St. Patrick's day. What does that mean? Nothing. BUT, I will tell you that Queen Latifah was also born on March 18th! She could kick my ass, and probably yours also. Probably at the same time, even.
So there it is. Bravo on being born on a great day. Well done.
I just want to let you know that I got the two calendars. The pictures of the food and drinks looked so good I couldn't resist a taste. I took a bite of my friend's so that I could enjoy all of mine. She'll have to enjoy hers with a little bit missing.
I've resisted reading everything so that I can enjoy it each month.
Hi there! I received my autographed calendar today and was thrilled with the abundance of pictures and names and dates and things. Mostly, I was impressed that you chose to ignore "the rules" (who do those Gregorians think they are, anyway?) and follow March with August! Ingenious! Only you, Rob, would realize that after a long, crappy winter and slushy spring, we should switch up to summer right away; screw April flowers, I want summer vacation!
So thank you, Rob, for redefining the calendar, and as always, Keep up the Good Work!
Kerry Bateman (March 22)
So, I'm wondering if the holidays listed in the calendar have meanings behind them that are explained throughout the website. I love finding them on the calendar and enjoy that I will be able to make my own celebration with my friends for those days. But, I find that the best part is that I put the January holidays on the main office calendar at work and everyone has noticed them. They're generating quite the buzz in the office.
Anything you can offer, like an informational packet, is appreciated.
I just wanted to say thanks for the calendar. When I saw the envelope
that had been sent all the way from California I knew exactly what it
was, and rushed upstairs to open it. It was so much better than the
pictures on the site suggested, you've obviously put a lot of thought
into the calendar and for only about 10 of our British pounds it's an
absolute bargain! I don't think I could have asked for anything more!
One thing I did notice was that April and August were the wrong way
round - maybe this is because the months work differently for you
I hope you do one of these for 2006, because I'll definitely be
getting one if you do!
I got the calendar the other day and it is already hanging on my wall,
impatiently waiting for 2005 to start. What I love most about it is
that April and August are switched! I don't know if this is on
purpose or if it means I win a golden ticket to a chocolate factory,
but either way it gives the calendar that much more charm. Thank you!
Or should I say "Jesus R. Christ"? You will probably not believe the
following story, but it is surprisingly true. I received your bright
and cheerful calendar in my mailbox late last week, and it has changed
my life. For years I have suffered from blindness - not complete
blindness, but I am legally blind. I have endured years of treatment
and have heard rumors of blind people regaining their sight after being
visited by the Virgin Mary. I have always wished to see the Madonna in
hopes that I may become a normal person again.
After I received your calendar, I looked as closely as I could at the
bright photos inside. As I flipped to each new page, I could feel a
strange pressure behind my eyeballs. By the time I got to December's
page, I could see perfectly! I removed my double-paned glasses and
thick, painful contacts because they were severly blurring my vision!
Now I am free from my shackles of blindness and am writing this email
without vision aids! Thank you Rob Cockerham and your wonderful
calendar! I hope to win the lottery someday so I can send free
cockeyed.com calendars to blind people across the world!
Mary "look ma, I ain't blind no more!" Vanatta
In the past month or so I have been dropping hints to my family that they could get me a fabulous cockeyed.com 2005 calendar for Christmas. Christmas came and my aunt gave me my favorite gift of this Christmas or even perhaps all others: the infamous calendar. As I opened it my aunt looked at me kind of strange with a weird look on her face. She asked me “is this what you really wanted?” Of course it was. I was awestruck by the by the cover that stared at me with all the colors and images (much like the cockeyed.com screensaver). I immediately opened the calendar and searched for my birthday, and sure enough there it was! I also noticed something very peculiar. Apparently I have been wrong in telling people the last 20 years that my birthday is the same as Abraham Lincoln’s. I was shocked to learn that February 12th is in fact Washington’s birthday, I feel like a total idiot now! I guess I have to go around and tell everyone who I have told that I shared Lincoln’s birthday that I was wrong! I also thought that April followed March, but nope, wrong again!! August follows March! I am not going to complain, I will always welcome August anytime of the year especially during these cold winter months here in Wisconsin. The photos are great, if I had to chose my favorite photo in the calendar it must be December’s photo of you refilling an ink cartridge with May’s photo of the briefcase of diamonds* and the worst counterfeit bills taking a close second. In closing, your calendar is great! I am looking forward to Honking Day!
Thanks for all your hard work in putting together this masterpiece, if it weren’t for this great gift I would have no reason to get out of bed each morning
December 31st 2004
Last night after work I went to a bar here in Lake Charles. To make a long story short a bunch of people including myself got good & drunk and a brawl ensued. I along with the others spent the night in a holding cell at the city jail to sober up overnight. After I was charged with disorderly conduct I got a ride home and low and behold what did I find in my mailbox??? The 2005 Cockeyed.com wall calander! It got me so excited that I ran down to the store to buy a bottle of Goldschlager to drink while I gazed at the glossy pages of such a landmark contribution to date keeping!
I think I ate a Philly cheesesteak sandwich last night. I know I had beer. Dont know what Ill have today. First I gotta find where my car is.
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December 15th, 2004.