Oh, how precious and wonderful diamonds* are. The light! The energy! The magic!

Who wouldn't be thrilled to have one on their finger or around their neck?

Diamonds* capture light so beautifully, they've developed a reputation for having a fire within them.

Usually these precious stones sell for a rather high price, sometimes costing more than $300 each!

This auction is for a briefcase full of diamonds*.

Impress your friends with this handsome brown briefcase bursting with hundreds of stones!

If one diamond* is good, a handful must be better, and this entire briefcase full is fantastic!

Thanks to their angular shape, these fine stones aren't very sharp. I've spent hours pawing through them with my bare hands without getting a single cut.

Don't let that trick you into thinking that this is some kind of schoolyard sandbox! These are fabulous diamonds*!

Sick of watching your co-workers swoon over Jacob Alton's Rolex? Let them catch a glimpse of your awesome Briefcase of Diamonds* and you'll be the new sheriff in town!

Who? Jacob Alton? Who? Exactly!

Impress your family or co-workers with this awesome haul!

Most of the stones range from half-carat to two carat weights, with excellent clarity and very few flaws.

The total combined weight of the stones is more than 14,160 carats.

These are not blood diamonds.

Included in the price of the auction is this fine leather* briefcase, gently used but still fine enough to haul your most priceless possessions.

The briefcase has a combination locks that remains unused. Instructions for setting the combinations are not included.

Included with this auction are two lovely pieces of diamond* jewelry. This gold-tone diamond* encrusted bracelet, and an awesome 9.5 carat diamond* ring. Both pieces are magnificent, but the bracelet is a little small for an adult, particularly with those bits of sharp stone hanging off the sides.

The shipping charge will be $1.00 within the United States of America, $4 to Canada and $6 to the United Kingdom. I'm sending the whole briefcase full of diamonds* to the winner. I accept paypal, money orders and checks. Visit Cockeyed.com today for the latest in amusing photos and science experiments.

Send email: rob at cockeyed.com with any questions.  

*these diamonds are actually little cubes of glass from broken car windows.

*leather is leather-grain vinyl.