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|Sunday, January 19, 2003|
Greetings. My name is Jacob Strunk; I am a filmmaker from Santa
Barbara, California. I am a follower of cockeyed.com, and I
think you do an absolutely bang-up job on it. You're a funny
bastard, and it shows.
Please allow me a moment of your time. I am writing regarding
my recently completed short film, "A Day Awake." I know it's
not something you usually do, but I would very much appreciate
it if you would be willing to put a little something about my
film on the site. As I'm sure you can understand, the independent
film market is a harsh and unforgiving place; the short film
market is even worse. Although I've gotten a great response
from the film and some limited exposure, it's a tough arena.
Your site has a built-in audience, an audience comprised of fairly
intelligent people (I would assume...), no less. Some exposure
and recognition would help me out a great deal as I set out,
"A Day Awake" planted firmly under my arm, to brave the film
industry and hopefully get some screenings and, God forbid, some
I would be more than willing to send a copy of "A Day Awake"
to you for screening as well as the full press kit. I have a
feeling you'd be someone who would appreciate it and the work
that went into making it.
Feel free to email me, give me a call, or check out my website
for more info. I also just recently put the trailer up on my
site. Take a gander, tell me what you think.
I look forward to speaking with you and I appreciate your consideration.
PS: It was the Herbalife thing that hooked me...
Writer --- Filmmaker
|I discovered your cockeyed.com site during an unusually fortunate spate
of random surfing, and I feel a powerful need to congratulate you and
all of your helpers and associates for assembling such a fascinating
and entertaining experience for all who are lucky enough to direct
their browsers to your address.
Between all of the creative projects, the insidious and wicked pranks,
and the wealth of information and statistics, there's a massive amount
of amusing knowledge to be gained at your site.
I thank you and each of your allies in research, art, and humorous
destruction for the efforts you all have put forth. You have helped to
make the usually bleak and nihilistic experience of surfing the
internet at random immeasurably more entertaining and rewarding.
Things like Cockeyed are what give me the strength necessary to keep on
clicking my mouse buttons.
I got the information from someone on a collectables trading board (she was selling it but I managed to get her to send me it for free). She said thats how she got a PS2, etc etc. Now that I think about it, it is kind of weird that they don't have any contact info, and that you have to pay to join. I appreciate your time very much.
|You should put an ear infection on the list I had one of those and I didn¹t
care for it for a week and I had pain all the time and had to sleep standing
up and every time I started to lay down I would get shooting pains threw my
ear I think its like a 600 on the dolor scale it really sucked
I just decided to sign up to be an Herbalife distributor, I really want the products at a discount...anyways, I just had to tell you your web info was hilarious, I read the entire article on the sign posting etc...thank you for making me laugh!
This weekend I have watched and listened to Dr Blix and I was distressed to hear that Dr Blix is spouting the American propaganda line of dis-information not based on his inspectorate findings. By taking that tack of pro-war rhetoric Dr Blix has been hung out to dry and has at best lost face as one who should be neutral and on-side with the UN.
By taking this tack, Dr Blix has excused the USA administration's rush to war, and the bullying, black-mailing strategies used to forward its premeditated war criminal stance. Bush should be impeached, Dr Blix should resign in dishonour, and the UN should put people in place who do not regurgitate the USA war-mongering propaganda.
Is there really a case for B52s carpet-bombing hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children and destroying an ancient culture with cruise missiles. Blood for oil is no excuse for genocide. This imminent global disaster is not about regime change, democracy, weapons of mass destruction, Mr. Hussein, or dictatorship, else the USA is clearly hypocritical. This is all about fueling the USA military with a future oil supply at little or no cost to Exxon et al.
|just finished eating some on crackers. that vegemite story of yours is the funniest damn thing i've seen!
i can imagine you sending it to Conan O'brien (sp??)
I liked your write up of the homeless guy and his signs all over the place. Down at the bottom you challenged anyone to supply another such prolific poster. I think I may have found one. He (she?) isn’t homeless as far as I can tell, but the signs are an experience. They have a large bulletin board on the outside of a small store in Kamloops, BC (2 hours from Kelowna) which is covered with an ever-changing collage of notes and signs. Also, they have a pile of the signs posted in the storefront which I didn’t have time to photograph. I was up there today and took some pictures for you.
To minimize the size of this email I’ve just posted them to my own webspace.
-- have a look and feel the confusion.
cheers from Kelowna
|This email confirms that you have paid All Too Flat $10.00 using PayPal.|
|That sucks! That means that by buying a $10 ATF membership, he is going
to have a twenty dollar net gain from the three of us! On the other hand,
it's a sweet deal for you, rob.
Kenny B. (All Too Flat.com)
on the other hand, we should have given him an honorary membership for
sending a digital camera in the first place, so I hope he DOES gain $20
Ben S. (All Too Flat.com)
|Monday, December 20th, 2003|
The number on my Randalls card has way more digits and isn't formatted at all
like that. However, I'm not really sure if that affects our chances of being
able to use the systems together. A classic example of this is credit card
usage at the same terminals; Visa/Mastercard cards all have 16 digits and are
formatted XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-XXXX but American Express cards are formatted
XXXX-XXXXXXX-XXXXX totaling only 14 digits.
However, it works all the same since all the POS terminals can determine the
card's origin based on the first four digits. I suspect that's how compatible
grocery club card systems work, too.
Since phone numbers are the same everywhere, it might affect the POS terminal's
ability to determine which database to check for an account. Perhaps if you
can get me a full Safeway card (or I mail you my Remarkable card), we can
fully test the system. However, even if it works, we'd have to fully reproduce
your Safeway cards to use it here.
I was going to write to you anyway, but since it's reader
appreciation/e-mail showoff week, I figured I'd better do it as soon as
I found out about your site from someone linking to the Safeway Identity
Crisis prank. There's a Safeway a couple of blocks away from my house, so I
end up shopping there a lot of the time by default. The problem is, I don't
want them to know what I buy, so I have never gotten a card. I ususally just
pretend I forgot my card and tell them my mom's phone number. That way I get
the discounts but I don't get tracked! I could just as well apply for a card
and put your UPC code on if you like. How many points do you have so far?
Won't the receipt say 'Rob Cockerham' on it?? They always look at my reciept
and say 'thanks Fran!' (my mom) - If I used your card, they'd probably say
'thanks Mrs. Cockerham!'. I guess I can handle that. Do you know if the
Safeways in Canada are on the same system?
I take a lot of photos too, but I don't have a digital camera. Mine is a
Canon TX single lens reflex. Made in 1975! Ever since the battery for the
light meter died, I haven't been taking many pictures. I have to guess how
bright everything is. The next camera I buy will probably be digital.
I wanted to send you something, so I found a photo I had scanned a while
back of my friend Masataka the Tiger-boy, and a picture of myself that my
friend took with his phone last year.
Let me know if there's ever anything I can do to help the Cockeyed.com
I almost forgot to tell you how much I like your site!
Your writing style is really fresh and funny, and I love the pictures as
well. I almost died when I saw that head covered in shaving cream. I just
know I'm not going to be able to stop until I've read everything on your
bye for now,
oops... did you say something about No giant attachments?
I was thinking seriously of joining herbalife and selling this product on the Internet, before I parted with my $366 (Australian) I decided to research it on the net and came across your site. I read the lot which is unusual for me and have now changed my mind. A shame I was looking forward to be being rich!!!!!!!
Thanks for your site
|Mom says you are my real father.
Pink Floyd rule!!!
Wellington, New Zealand.
|Who knows? Not relevant.
Blix talked to Wolf Blitzer,CNN, on a first name, old friends basis. Blitzer epitomises the American press "War as Entertainment" lobby. By associating himself and thus the UN which such cheap journalism, Blix aids and abets the insanity. ---Calum.
Hello Can you tell me about this site
I am In DESPERT need of a Lap top . If i did this and say I told 200 ppl about this and 100 signed up would i then get a free lap top?
|This is a picture that I took of a sunrise on Lake
Superior. Originally the picture was a 14.1meg Tiff file. So I had to smash it down a bit. I hope you enjoy it.
Matthew P. Christensen
I truly enjoyed your site on Herbalife and I am sending
it to all of my group. I know so many people who have fallen
for the hype with Herbalife (and many other companies for that
matter). I, too have been burned by another company.
I do not know how I even came across your site, but I am glad
I did. I appreciate your taking the time to put this together. If
you can save one person from losing their money, time and integrity,
it is well worth it.
I am with a Network Marketing company and have been for 5 years now,
but unfortunately the majority of these companies have an agenda and it
is not helping average people make money.
I am glad I ran across your site.
Thanks for posting such a genuinely entertaining and unique site. Those of us who are less creative and more lazy than you appreciate vicariously having fun through you.
I was wondering if you are familiar with lockpicking. By most accounts learning how to pick a lock doesn't really fit in with the normal content of your site - it's not creating something or looking to see how much is inside of something. It doesn't involve paper mache. It could fall under science club episodes, I suppose.
I'm not really sure how interesting looking at a bunch of pictures of you picking a lock could be, but hell, we all read the firemaking one, and those were pictures of you spinning a wooden stick.
So there's my challenge/request. Learn how to pick locks, and tell us how to do it.
Hello again. It's Samiel, from Modern Primitive Radio. If your up for doing the show tonight, I'll be doing a phone interview with you. We'll record it to an MP3, and we'll make sure you get a copy. I am told your time is 3 hours behind ours. So our interview would take place around 10:30-11:00pm your time, since it'd be 1:30-2:00am. IF the times off, let me know. If you drop me a line back, I can either call you a bit earlier to set this up more, or we can set more up in email. Our new site is at:
Am totally lovin the site! As are all my friends. I'd
ask to marry you and bear your children, but that
would not amuse my boyfriend. And you probably have a
rabid horde of groupies who would tear me limb from
limb for suggesting it. I'll settle for one of those
nifty Safeway Club Card stickers instead please.
The closest we've come to your pranks was when we
tried to sell the school in our grad year. It would've
been better if we had it listed and everything, but
the best we could manage was a real estate sign on the
front lawn with the principal's name & number on it.
It was removed shortly; though we managed to snap a
picture first & get it into the town newspaper. Two
weeks later we were loitering around during exams when
the vice principal came along with the real estate
sign and put it into the garbage across from us. So
the sign went back up and stayed up for a good month.
Some friends lucked into a better one, as they grew up
in a city with several high schools. The girls of the
grad class from evil nemesis Brock school held their
party on the grounds of my friends' school and left
behind a banner taped to the entrance: "Brock Girls
Grad 95". That, of course, was not to be tolerated so
my friends took it down & drove across town - banner
flapping like a cape from the car - to the police
station where they duct taped it to a patrol car. The
Brock grad girls got 20 hours of community service
I'm also a fan of the "I'm changing the climate, ask
me how" stickers for SUVs but would rather make my own
with some weatherproof labels. Am thinking "Fear +
Vanity = Bigass SUV" or "I <heart> Asthma". Despite
Vancouver being the origin of Adbusters, I don't see a
lot of culture jamming around. Well, people put
stickers under the "Stop" on signs, like "STOP WTO".
And someone hand-writes "Repent Sinner" on labels &
sticks them all over the city. So there are copycats:
"Repent Shopper", "Repent Campbell" (our province's
Fearless Leader. You may have heard of his drunk
driving charge? Who needs satire with the true events
Anyhoo, thanks for the great site & adventures.
Hopefully soon my boss will stay away from my desk
long enough that I can look at the whole thing.
thanks for the appreciation week.
i've been an ardent fan of your website ever since our phone interview when (1999) i was working remotely for aquent-sacramento (employment agency for web and graphics professionals).
i am in austin, tx. i understand you have a sister who works here. feel free to let me know if you are ever in town. folks here are hankering for some free milk.
we have no safeways, but a store called randall's (owned by tom thumb if you're familiar with them) has the same system called the "remarkable card". i've had to rethink my hatred for the card since the chick in front of me in the checkout line the other day won a bottle of apple juice for no apparent reason. i could've really used that apple juice.
I absolutely love the site. I eagerly await each monthly installment of "How much is inside". Yes, I know "reader appreciation week" is whoring for praise on your part, and a shameless desire to be somewhat famous on mine for writing, but it's still cool. :)
Good luck on the job huntin'; congrats for sticking it to The Man regarding speeding; and keep up the good work!
P.S. Thanks for the $100 bill-sized paper this fall.
As much as you said you'd like to see some on eBay, it's very near and dear to my heart. Perhaps some day I will be strong enough to part with it.
|Subject: Clone Army
Attached is a JPEG of the reason the lower rose blooms were getting torn
up. Who would have thought that chickens would develop a taste for rose
Yep, this is exactly why I left No.Cal. for
Did you know that Safeway is damn expensive here?? No meat on your
I am a big fan of the site, i did send a joke about my dog i hope you didnt think was mean. I have a science idea
what is the melting point of a green army guy, or how much is in an army guy. anyway if there are any pranks you need done in the Boston area let me know.
|I've been an occasional reader of your site ever since I chanced upon your DELI prank. I recalled your expose on Herbalife this evening when a coworker gave me this link.
He asked me if my wife worked at home. When he got the affirmative, he gave me the link, asked me to take a look at it, but NOT on a work computer. I did anyway, and told him I thought it was a Ponzi scheme. He said those were illegal. So I said it looked like a Pyramid scheme then. He laughed, and said it wasnt. He said there would be a Sooperbowl commerical featuring whatever this site is trying to sell. When I said the page looked like it didnt offer any real product, and that a quick look hinted of MLM, he said Refridgerator Perry was a spokesperson.
If my wife was interested (She isnt), we were supposed to attend a 20 minute conference call with Mr. CED (My coworker). He was real excited about this business opportunity.
Is this related to one of the herbalife type outfits youve already researched? Is this the latest greatest scam?
Thanks, from another ---
Shamelessly vying for a spot on your "Reader Appreciation" page. (This is
a great idea!) I've blogged Cockeyed.com a bunch of times; now I guess
it's my turn...!
The happiest blog on earth.
I'm so glad I found your website about Herbalife. I've invested about $800.00 in my Herbalife Distributorship -- thankfully, I did not jump out of the frying pan into the fire by spending over $4000.00 to become an immediate Supervisor. The promotional company which my "mentor" is affilated with is Financial Success Systems -- her website is www.catchthedream.com. I consider myself a well educated person -- I can't believe I was duped into thinking all the hipe was true.
While I am happy to provide you with additional information regarding yet another promotional company for Herbalife, I would greatly appreciate your not using my name or statement in any of your future articles.
Dear Mr. Cockerham,
I just read your series of websites that expose the MLM/Work-from-home 'opportunity' that is Herbalife. I had just begun to look for a part-time job that I could do from home (although I was actually looking for software opportunities) when I stumbled across a website (http://www.4yourwealthtoday.com/) for Global Online Systems. It was heavy on success stories but light on information about what the 'business' was all about. Fortunately, a search on Google led me to your fine website, and I have now been well educated on the matter, thanks to your hard work. I also compliment you on your methodology; I think your fair-minded approach was much more effective than, say, blatant 'slamming' would have been. More importantly, you just saved me money! Thanks again.
Here are two images for attachment week.
Information about each that you’re probably not interested in:
105-0545: There’s this dude that hangs out on 7th avenue (fashion district) and hands out flyers for sample sales and stuff. He is kinda weird and pushy with the flyers, we don’t know if he’s homeless or what…he can’t be making tons of money handing out flyers. One day last week he came up to our floor and just squatted there and slept. I don’t know why he chose our floor, we’re on 12, but he did…somehow he knew we wouldn’t bother him or call the building to remove him. I happened to have my camera that day to take pictures of the office and people I work with before my company goes out of business, and decided to take some pictures of the “flyer guy”.
106-0606: This was in a bar this past weekend for my friend’s birthday. I thought the bartenders blacklight effect on their white shirts was pretty cool, and wanted to see what kind of results I would get if I took some photos without flash figuring it would expose fairly well even in the dark. This is my favorite one of the bunch for a few reasons, and the “drunk” effect that I got from camera shake is pretty fitting considering the location of the shot.
I've been reading your website for a while now, and
really enjoy your pedantic adventures. The "How Much
Is In That..." section is my particular favourite.
I'd like to buy one of your Cockeyed tees, but alas
cannot because the sizes are too small. Given that
60% of women are size 14 and over, wouldn't it be
preferable that your shirt supplier be more size
I know many women who would like to wear the 'baby
doll' style of t-shirt, but they rarely go beyond size
10. I might as well use them as dishcloths, quite
frankly. Excluding the majority of your audience (Geek
Grrls and Guys) from buying your products leaves you
without cash and us without cock..eyed shirts.
So please, I encourage you to upsize your shirts to at
least an XXL so that we may support your future
|Subject: Netter Lumber Splinter or Would I?
An I foreign I, won tooth, refore if I've sick, is even. Ate nigh in, tena leaven to well, I've their tee in, hole ye in one...zero.
A be, cede effigy hijack, high jack jackal kill, ell elemen no pique queuer, curious rest to you, you've double hew. Wax wise.
my kids and I somehow got on the subject of starting a fire by hand; a
few minutes later we were in the garage using the bow method to spin a
stick. I had seen this years before at a cub scout convention. We
weren’t making much progress so I whipped my drill out and put the
dowel in my drill, however, I still could not get a fire going. So I
decided to check out the Internet for help and found your detailed
report, seeing you try the same things and having the same failures gave
me some comfort. I printed out your entire report from work and brought
it home to share with my kids, actually I read it to them as a bedtime
story. This coming up weekend we are going to give it another go with
the new information (such as cutting a vee near the grove where the
stick spins to collect the sawdust) and hopefully achieve realize
No joy this evening at Randalls with that phone number. Could you possibly
send me a real Safeway card with your account number label? I think that I
have a better chance with that than the phone number.
Continue to Sunday, January 21, 2003