A Cosmopolitan.

Back to lemon drops.

Long Island Iced Teas. These things are a nightmare. Check out this recipe:

I almost can't believe these things are potable. Five ounces of liquor flavored with two?

Whatever the opposite of a miracle is, this drink is it.

Nick demonstrates the addition of Angostura bitters to an old fashioned.

Nick and Victor.

I left out the cost of ice, but collected price information on the most popular garnishes.

Some readers may recognize this list as the Chelsea Handler diet.

Garnishes add up. Depending on their size, the three olives in your drink might cost more than the Three Olives in your drink.

Now hold onto your cocktail onions, because I jammed all of this pricing information into an overly-complex cocktail-cost calculator on the next page. You'll be able to pull out a price for any drink you can think of, even those biblical ones they made Val order at her batchelorette party.

But you don't need a calculator to reach this conclusion: You can save money by drinking cocktails at home.

With any luck, you won't be the only one there.