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The Exotic Zone Ball
The biggest halloween parties in sacramento are on the Saturday before Halloween. At the last minute, I decided to take my chances at the Exotic Zone Ball at Cal Expo. They offer a $5,000 top prize.
Actually, it is the only prize. Two years ago they ditched second ($1,500) and third ($500) prize so that they could roll all the prize money into one single prize. This makes this particular contest into a tense experience! It is winner-take-all!
Scott Holden, my fellow costume-expert, also made the switch to the Zone ball, in his stunning Transformer costume, made with actual sheet metal. He had started the night at a different contest, but couldn't get in because they had completely sold out of tickets.
We are friends, but it would still be a bummer to lose to him. We got to the contest at the beginning, parked next to one another and suited up. My friend Suzi came along to help too.
As we walked through the parking lot and into the security check, people were looking past the Disneyland costume to check out Scott's Transformer. This was a bad sign for me, excellent for Scott!
Before I could be in the actual costume contest, I had to get a "finalist" wristband by showcasing my costume on a little "audition" stage.
Before I made it to the audition stage, things were getting weird in the costume contest. They turned away Anthony in this giant AT-AT costume, refusing to give it a finalist bracelet. I ran into him as I went in. Neither of us could believe it.
Luckily, the judges at the auditions stage had a higher opinion of Disneyland. After a close look, they gave me a wristband without comment. I was in!
Once I got away from Scott's magnificent machine, I was swamped with adoration and bathed in the pico-flashes of hundreds of camera phones.
The guy above to my left was the first of dozens of men who had seen my costume build photos on "The Chive".
Here's Odie with a fake-legs rocket-booster costume! He didn't get a finalist bracelet either.
These photos look like I was at an empty warehouse, but I wasn't. It was a gigantic party, but I was too vulnerable to damage to stay in the thick part of the crowd.
Lelo and sexy Clark Kent.
Near midnight, the contests started. First there was a twerking contest. Then there was a "sexiest man" contest. Then there was a "sexiest woman" contest. Finally it was time for the Best Costume contest.
Scott's shiny Transformer was nowhere to be seen. Either he hadn't gotten a finalist bracelet or was lying dead somewhere.
There were mostly regular-sized costumes in the costume contest. They included "kissing booth", an excellent Heisenberg, "TED" and "fairy". There was also a stilted swamp monster and a guy with a latex pumpkin head, a couple in silver body paint and a Darth Vader-like warrior. I liked my chances against this group!
When we were announced, the MC asked us to "show our stuff", which was weird.
I guess he was expecting a sexy display of some kind, after hosting a twerking and two more sexy contests. We obliged.
Tragically, however, Disneyland could not match the sexy pelvic thrusts of this swamp monster. The crowd got behind him and I couldn't match his moves onstage.
Swamp monster won!
What would have been second place had no prize. I was out.
Update: The swamp monster may not have had a finalist wristband.